Should my friend accept a guy she loves if he has a past?
Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him) said, All my Community will be excused except those who are blatant. And it is from blatancy for one to perform an act at night and to wake up and tell something that they did such-and-such, while Allah had concealed it for them. They slept under the cover of Allah, and they rended Allah's covering from themselves in the morning. [Bukhari and Muslim
I am seeking an advice for my friend.
She is in a dilemma.
She loves someone and it is indeed true love.
However, the guy in the past, had a girlfriend and they both had let themselves get carried by shaytaan and had gone to an extent of masturbating each other.Since he did not want to hide anything from my friend, he has narrated his past to her.
He truly regrets what he has done and keep on repenting. he has changed a lot and now he is in love with my friend.
Can my friend accept this guy after knowing this past of his? Is this permissible in Islam to accept such a person?
- Muslimah19
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As salamu alaykum,
If he has done true repentance and stop sinning I don´t see why he shouldn´t be forgiven by your friend. But at the end is up to her to see if she can handle his past or not, if she is going to throw it in his face, better if she lets him go, if she is able to forgive and forget both of them should move on and initiate the process of proposals to have a halal relationship, insha´Allah.
Remember them than dating is haram in Islam.
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
There is a link on tawbah on the top of the page, you can tell him to take a look.
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I agree with sister Maria. Your friend needs to have a long hard think about whether she can accept his past. If he has repented then of course its fine but if she can't then she should let him go. This is SOO important, otherwise its leads to problems later.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
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Assalamu alaykum Sister,
True love before marriage. Only Allah knows if it exists or people just call attraction and attachment created to the object of attraction as love. only Allah knows.
Is your friend a practising Muslima? If yes, Alhamdulillaah, if not, tell her it is first priority to become a practicing Muslima and then look for a guy for marriage.
Is the guy who regrets his past a practicing Muslim now? If yes, Alhamdulillaah, if not, tell him his first priority should be to become a practicing Muslim and then look for a girl for marriage.
Until and unless we do not do this, there are much chances of clashes in future due to one good in imaan and practice and another lagging behind.
As Muslims our duty is to practice Islam.
If he has repented to Allah truly and seems sincere, she overlook the past, look at the present and should involve her parents and look for marriage.
There is no need to continue a hidden relationship as it leads to fitna.
Hope this helps.
Salaam,
Your brother.
Assalamu alaykum brother,
i have written to many sisters on this site regarding the issue i have... ill copy the same thing i typed on another sisters page..
Brother please help me because i do not have much time!
(Remainder of comment removed by Editor)
sta, please log in and write your question as a separate post, and we will advise you Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASA sister!
I think we all have a past, whether it be this big or small, depends on the person. But like the above brother, and sisters have mentioned: if he has truely asked Allah (swt) for forgiveness and has not done it since ( that is what true repentance is) then, i dont see why not. The past is the past and we are not who to judge what he or anyone has done. Best thing is to live in the present and think about the future, inshallah ,he has learned his lesson and this has made him a better muslim!!
Best of wishes to you and your friend,
AMIRA