After 20 years, I discover my wife talks to her boyfriend intimately
Quran 2:2 "This is the Book; in it is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fear Allah"
Hi. I have been married for the past 24 years and few years ago, I came to know that my wife meets and talk to her boyfriend intimately.
I have 4 children, the eldest daughter got married last year. I have one 7 yr boy and a 13 yr girl beside a 2o yr boy. Because of children I cannot leave her as they are minor. Will I be conflicting any of her rights if I do not share the same bed with her. I already talk to both of them but they do not listen to me.
By the way my wife is around 50 years. Please help me and guide me in the light of Quran and sunnah. Thanks
Jhinusa
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Assalamu alaykum Brother,
If you found sure proof of your wife's intimacy with another person, even in talks, if that person is a non mahram, it is indeed a sad situation. May Allah give peace and sakina to your heart.
Brother, as per Islam, this is not right on her part. You have all options open. Being a man, a husband, you should not tolerate such behavior.
Get things straight to the point when you talk to her. Tell her in plain terms that you are ready to forgive if she is sorry for her actions and is willing to make the marriage work.
Tell her you want to work it out for the kids. Ask her : Are you willing to help me with this?
Read the Qur'an to her with meanings, in general make it a habit in the house, so that anyone who listens may fear Allah, if Allah wills and their hearts would be inclined to goodness, if Allah wills.
Brother, if kids grow up and come to know of these actions of their mom, it sets for them a bad example and a bad impact on their minds when they hear about their mother what you wrote to us.
If you want to make peace, work with the Qur'an, du'aas to Allah and indirectly arrange her meeting with sisters who are strong in their imaan and fear Allah, Insha Allah if she attends company of pious sisters, she would change.
Also, women at this age want more love and attention than before from their spouse and so it is important you talk to her, act a bit more like a "young lover" and keep the charm of marriage going on. Insha Allah this will help. All women want is good time with their husband. Make sure you are able to provide it. If she still persists in her actions, you have an option of divorce open, Alhamdulillaah.
My du'aa to Allah for you brother, may Allah restore your married live with love and faithfulness with your spouse and giv eyou good of dunya and good of aakhirah.
Hope the advice helps.
Salaam,
Your brother,
Munib.
Salaams Brother
Sorry for the sad situation you are in. It's never too easy to deal with infidelty. You are married to this women for 24 years, I'm sure this is quite shocking to you. Brother you mentioned that you came to know of this affair a "few years ago". You are very patient person for having to deal with this for so long.
If she isn't listening to you then you have every right to sleep separately. She's probably not taking you seriously. Threaten her with divorce if she still does not listen to you. Disobedience to your husband is not allowed in islam. Meeting and to and talking to a non-mahram is definetly a NO NO!
It's good that you are thinking about your kids but imagine the life that they would have if they see their mother behaving and acting this way. They would consider this normal. It's time you put a stop to this. Tell your wife if she isn't prepared to make this marriage work then you have no other option but to leave her.
Rumaysa