Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Molested by cousin

Sexual abuse

I'm 19 (not that shy not that bold).

About two weeks ago My grandma was seriously ill, so all of my distant relatives were in my uncles house to see her (we are neighbors). I was in my uncles kitchen with one of my paternal cousin (my aunts son) who is in his late twenties (he is recently got married) and I was seated beside him and was discussing my upcoming exam with him and slowly he touch me inappropriately on my thigh and on my chest. It obviously turned out to be uncomfortable and I took his hands off me casually and left the room. I was in shock and couldn't figure out what actually happened and thought I just misunderstood his actions (because I am the youngest member of my whole family and was always pampered).

Now today me, my mom, my aunt were with my grandma taking care of her when I decided to go to house and study. So I went home and locked the front main door and went upstairs. And after sometime my mom calls me on my phone and tells me that my cousin was here to see me (same cousin) he wanted to know how i did my exam. I got chills as I remembered what happened last time but I made my mind that it was just me and nothing happened.so I opened the door, greeting him and let him in. Now it was just me and him, so we had normal conversation about my exam ( but it was not normal, because all of my cousins are like 8-10 years eleder than me and we don't talk friendly). So I managed to be far far away from his grip and after sometime I told him that mom is calling and telling me to come to her (I lied) we both went to my uncles house and now when we were at the doorstep and he wrapped his arm around me and again touch my chest so now I began to distant myself from him. Finally I reached my mom and I just sat there not telling anything about it. He did tried to get close to me but I always made something up and stand myself. And after an hour I told mom that I wanted to go home and told her that if ANYONE asked about me tell them that I went to market or something. So I went home and loncked myself in by actually locking the front gate (I do that all the time when I am alone agh me so it's normal). Now I'm like 100% sure that it wasn't misunderstanding and my cousin actually molested me.

Now the major issue is that I don't know what to do and I can't tell anyone. The only person I could was my own elder brother who is out of the station and my elder cousins (my neighbor "uncles" son and daughter who are very close to me) and are too out of station. So I can't tell them by any means. And my parents respect and pamper my cousin (the one that molested me) too much so I can't tell them either And they won't believe me would think I am making things up or I misunderstood things and mainly I don't know what should I tell. I am still their little girl and I don't have a heart to tell this to anyone because as I said I am youngest, loved and pampered by all. So it might take an ugly turn and ruin my whole families relation with them. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to face him. He will always keep coming to our place as he always does. What should I do? Please help me. Jazakallah .

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7 Responses »

  1. tell your parents about it and if he tries to meet you slap him so hard that everybody can hear , make his face red constantly slap him, make him feel ashamed infront of everyone otherwise he would continue to molest other girls as well.
    its not your fault tell your parents about this so called angelic cousin.

    • He is sick. I wouldn't be afraid to tell your parents. They should always be by your side and believe you. When you do tell them be very emotional, cry, and say why would I want to make up a story...why would I make a serious false accusation? It's up to you. When I was 7 years old I told my mother about a paternal cousin (18 years old) who took me basement den and exposed his private parts in the dark. I told my mom and she never had me near him at gatherings, of course my dad wasn't told about it.

  2. Good advice towards sugar

  3. Teach a good lesson to him
    slap him in front of ur parents , they're asking for that ,u simply tell them without shy what...he is done with u take support from your parents
    And show them this msg to ur parents for evidence if u can't tell anything or feel guilty about it
    Don't worry Allah's blessings always with you
    Tc

  4. Buy a spying camera where you can pin to your clothes. This will give them proof.

  5. respect your body.. tell your mom! dont hold backk.. he is a bad bad bad person.. save yourselfff

  6. OP: my paternal cousin (my aunts son) who is in his late twenties (he is recently got married) and I was seated beside him and was discussing my upcoming exam with him and slowly he touch me inappropriately on my thigh and on my chest. .......... I took his hands off me casually and left the room. I ....... thought I just misunderstood his actions.

    Now today me, my mom, my aunt were with my grandma taking care of her when I decided to go to house and study. So I went home and locked the front main door and went upstairs. And after sometime my mom calls me on my phone and tells me that my cousin was here to see me (same cousin) he wanted to know how i did my exam. I got chills as I remembered what happened last time but I made my mind that it was just me and nothing happened.so I opened the door, greeting him and let him in. Now it was just me and him, so we had normal conversation about my exam ( but it was not normal, because all of my cousins are like 8-10 years elder than me and we don't talk friendly). So I managed to be far far away from his grip and after sometime I told him that mom is calling and telling me to come to her (I lied) we both went to my uncles house and now when we were at the doorstep and he wrapped his arm around me and again touch my chest so now I began to distant myself from him

    You should have told your cousin to STOP when he was touching you slowly on your thigh and chest. You again did not say any thing when he put his arm around you. You probably were walking close with him for him to do that to do that. When your mom told you your cousin wants to meet you, you should have gone to your mom and met your cousin in her presence. Stay away from him. Don't smile or even greet him. Your cousin may be playing this game with other girls in the family

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