Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Need help with nikah – Would this work?

secret nikah

As salaam waalaykum

I love a girl and she love me too, we both are cousins, we met first time ever in 2011 and got attraction for each other ever since but we choose to ignore that time and had no contact and i left the country. we met again in 2012 and this time the attraction strike again, we both start chatting then later turn into late night chatting and finally I share my feeling for her and purposed her that I love her and in return I get positive answer. So we spent time together and get to know each other better and then we start dating (both of us had forgotten of zina).

We both want to get married, so we talked to our parents and they agreed but my parents put condition that I must complete my study before getting married and  it gonna take atleast 4 year more before I complete my study..so we both started a secret relation. It’s been 5 month and we both still haven’t remember of zina we both were  enjoying time and committing zina (no intercourse only touching n kissing) until one day we remembered of zina and felt bad for it.

So in my mind idea came of if we both secretly do nikah till our parents fix a date. Then break the nikah or tell our parents we both already did nikah, or do nikah again.

We only want to do this so we could meet, we fear one day we would have intercourse and we both know its haraam but we do not have control, we are already doing zina by talking and been in haraam relation but we both want to be in halaal relation.

We try explaining to our parents but they didn't change their mind. We want to enjoy our time together without worrying of zina and talk to each other.

Is it possible? What could I do ?

jarbeat


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2 Responses »

  1. No, this plan won't work. It is sneaky, unusual, and will cause a lot of problems in your family.

    Do you realize how dishonourable this will make your fiancée? You want to "enjoy your time together" at all costs. Marriage in islam is NOT a secret enterprise.

    I have a suspicion that you are both teenagers. Please listen to your parents, and if you can't control yourself then maybe it's best you keep your distance from each other.

    You can't have everything you want. You will learn that once you reach adulthood.

  2. Assalam alaikum,

    Talk to your parents again and again--this is much much better than giving up with them and engaging in sinful behaviour. If they do not listen, talk to an Imam and a respected family member or good friend--ask these two people to accompany you in speaking to your parents. If you are too young--negotiate some terms with your parents sooner than 4 years. The more responsible you are, the more firm that you are, the more serious that you are, the easier it will be for them to support you in your decision. May Allah aid you in this difficult time, Ameen.

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