I broke up with my boyfriend and made tawbah, but I can’t stay away from him
Salams. I'm a young Muslim girl & also a quran-e-hafiz. but im stuck with a problem. I am in love with a muslim boy & we were together on/off for about 1 & a half year in the past. i broke up with him because i know that it is wrong to keep boyfriends & that it would disappoint my parents if they know what i was doing behind their backs.
But I cannot keep myself away from him. I really love him. I want to marry him & he is serious about me as well. I have made tauba saying that i will never get back with him but now im starting to build strong feelings for him again.
Can you tell me what is best for me to do in this situation?? I need some realistic advice please.
JazakALLAH
- ms.sadface
4 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
If you are not married with him, you have to keep yourself distanced from him both emotionally and physically until you can get married. This is the law of Allah. When we have proclaimed ourselves as Muslims, we meant that the will of Allah will prevail over our wills and we will surrender ourselves before His laws, no matter what our souls feel or say.
In your questions you did not talk about your parent's opinion of him. Although both the bride and the groom have the right to have the final say regarding the choice of their soul mate, it is advisable to seek the blessing of your parents in such matters. Also is he a righteous person? How is his character? Is he economically solvent to support his wife?
Remember, emotions that arise from premarital affairs often foreshadows the post marriage reality. And you should know that Shaytan continually whispers and fuels such emotion. So try to keep the emotion aside for the time being so that you can make sound judgment about the guy you want to marry.
PS. In Islam envy is not allowed except two persons can be envied by other Muslims: First a person who have memorized the book of Allah; second a person whom has been blessed with wealth and he or she spends it to buy akhirah. I envy you because you are hafidh ;). I have started hifdz and please pray for me so that I one day can become a hafidz like you.
Eid Mubarak.
You should talk with your parents openly and seriously but don't cross any islamic limits. If you want more info then please visit my website. http://Www.abdulmateen.wen9.com and click on left sub topic "Relation between girlfriend and boy friend in islam".
Ms.sadface, Asalaamualaykum,
Boyfriend/Girlfriend relations in Islam are totally forbidden by Allah, as you know. So keep striving to keep away from this boy. Remember Allah's punishment will be extreme if you do not refrain.
You do not need to complicate matters. Be straightforward with yourself first. If this boy is of relatively good deen and character, feels guilt for his sins, is keen to seek Allah's forgiveness for his sins, wants to legalise his relationship, then speak to your parents about him. Seek help and guidance from Allah(swt).
Be open and honest. That is the only way forward for a Muslim.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor