Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to kill myself, I have been texting another woman

Black Sky and Water, black and white,

Dear brothers and sisters,

I an new to this site. I committed adultery against my wife by texting another woman whom I never met, because she's in another country. I was talking with her before and during my marriage of 5 months. I also haven't been a good husband in general. Prior to being married to my wife, I was married before but went through a traumatic divorce. It was so bad I tried to end my life. It was this person from another country who friended me on Facebook.  She talked to me and listened to my problems, cared about my depression, and even talked me away from suicide. She is not Muslim.

My current wife read a text from this woman who said how she felt about me.  Now that she saw it, she said that she doesn't trust me or respect me. I don't blame her, but I feel terrible about it because I know I hurt her, and she is now talking divorce. It has been almost 2 weeks and we haven't been talking much.

I know I committed a sin and I want to repent, but I'm not sure if  I would even forgive myself. I want to change my wicked ways before it's too late, but like others here, I don't know where to start.  Part of me wants to just end my life because I am a failure and a miserable person, and I hate being like that. I'm just so lost now. I keep thinking how I am such a bad person and I want to commit suicide so that my wife can be happy without me. Frankly I don't think I have it in me to go through another court battle. I am truly a worthless human being that wants to die for what I did.



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8 Responses »

  1. Don't think of suicide brother...the punishment of suicide is very strict in Islam...those who suicide in this world will be thrown in jahannam and will be made to suicide in the same style as they chose to suicide in the world and that too in fire..and suicide is nothing but just an evil suggestion from Satan... and the problem which u will be facing after suicide will be million times worst than this.... just after u commit suicide u will be dead for people but after a couple of moments or hours( Allah knows best) ur eyes will open in ur grave and u will regret in the worst way and u would wish to come back to fix things up but there is no coming back once ur soul is Ask Allah to help u and make istighfar to him..he is the most mercifull the oft forgiving..

  2. First of all you should stop thinking about suicide for every mistakes you've done. You should learn to face and solve that problem not run away from The problem.

  3. You.need to act like an adult and not like a child. You did wrong and now need to face your consequences due to your actions. Realistically you have a good chance to patch things up with your wife since you've only been texting another woman without any physical You must cut ties with this woman and you need to make it up for your wife if you don't like her then get a divorce stop wasting people's time

    A good solution to this scenario would be marry the girl you been texting, make her your Co wife Inshallah your wife will be happy how things have turned out since you're not doing things behind her back

    Anyway best of luck brother.

    • No the good solution is that he stops talking to this other woman ... not marry her.

    • Al Salaamu Alaykum,

      Two things I would like to say:

      1. Most women wouldn't be happy to become polygamous as a solution to simply texting another woman. Women generally don't want to share their men...they don't get relief at the idea that things are no longer being done behind their back. The whole issue is having another woman in the scene at all.

      2. It's really rude and insensitive to tell a suicidal person to stop acting like a child, or to act like an adult. Severe guilt is not childish. Feeling suicidal is not childish. Both are evidence of an imbalanced mind, and having one of those is not childish, either.

      -Amy Editor

  4. Suicide is very serious in Islam so please remove this from your thoughts, it’s not a rational decision, Allah tests us in all kinds of ways and yours has come about perhaps in this way.

    I would advise you set aside your negative thoughts so that you can think clearly, Allah is oft forgiving and asks us to repent to him and only he is the most forgiving.

    Try to sort things with your wife, there are far worst things that can happen to married couples but this trust now needs to be built fdom your end.

    Remember she’s the one burnt by you so look for ways to make things right, try marriage councilling, do things for your wife to make her happy and show your interested in her and what you did was a silly mistake. In sha Allah you will find a way if it’s truely what the two of you want but it will be more effort required on your side.

    If you both agree to part ways, remember Allah has a plan for us all and he won’t burden a soul with more than it can handle.

    May Allah guide you and guide us all Ameen

  5. Your mistake is not that grave that deserves a big punishment of suicide. You need to convince your wife that your contact was only to get advise from that woman and nothing else. You may tell her that she is an expert adviser on such matters. Your wife may even talk to that woman to be satisfied. I am sure as the time passes things would go mild. Just be silent for some time. Tell that woman to contact your wife and clarify her the situation. Suicide is no solution. My best wishes with you.

  6. Assalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatu, brother.

    You should take advice from Quran and Hadith from a Sheikh, brother. So watch this video and you will be at ease, Inshallah. Take care.

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