Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I leave this relationship?

Young woman looking thoughtful, pensive

Hello everyone, I need sincere and mature advice for myself please advice me.

I was in a relationship with my cousin. He used to say that he loves me then I also started loving him sincerely from the depth of my heart. I know it's haram but I wasn't that mature at that time.

We are in a relationship since 7 years and my family don't like him because he is not good with his family and towards his study and career. But I still I was very sincere with him. I persuaded my family for him, my family said ok for my happiness.

Then I told him that my family is agreed for you. His tone totally changed. He said I can't marry you, you are not my type, etc. I cried and cried a lot, even I said I will die please don't do this - he said ok go die. He and his family insulted me so much I was totally broken I cried a lot.

Then I go somewhere he was there, he saw me and he started texting me again and he is saying he loves me he will marry me and all that. I was so broken so I started talking to him but as I am talking to him I realized he's not changed yet. He is the same. He abuses me a lot, use bad language for me and my family, makes me cry a lot and he doesn't care about me. Daily he makes me cry, daily he left me. I don't know what to do, he made me so weak I'm unable to take decision that what should I do? Please advice.


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6 Responses »

  1. Leave him.

  2. Sorry sister I don't understand your question. You saying he doesn't care about you, he makes you cry, he insults you,he is abusive ,he doesn't respect you, your family doesn't like him and you still don't know what decision to make??? Why would you even ask?? It's so simple LEAVE and start respecting yourself!!! Don't wait for him to change, I promise it's never going to happen.

  3. Asalam o alaikum

    Dear, i know how hard it is to leave as i have gone through same situation. Not exactly same but trust me i know where you are standing now and i used to ask same question to myself that what should i do? I can't leave him cuz there was a fear inside me that if i left him, i would be broken or i would be alone. I would be in a worst condition etc. I know you have feelings for him. That feelings are making you weak that you are degrading yourself.

    Take a deep breath and suppose that your friend is in that condition. What will you advise that friend? I am sure you will say leave.

    Leave him dear before it's too late. It's been 3 months of my breakup. Trust me i am in peace. Yes i miss him alot and still i am trying to move on. But one thing is sure that i was in a worst condition with him because i was degrading myself for him and in return i just wanted him not to leave me. I was hoping that he will change but he changed my life as he degraded me to a level that now i am finding it hard to stand up again. But there is a peace in my heart that i am no longer in a haram thing.

    Once you leave him you'll be hurt but you'll be in peace. We become so weak when it comes to love. We start to love someone sincerely and in return we just want them to be around. We try to ignore their mistakes but understand this that some mistakes should not be ignored not matter what. He broke you once and when he approached again you became weak. I could say that may be he realized but you just gave the answer that he is the same old guy. So, what do you expect from him now?

    His family once insulted you. Do you think they will accept you now? May be they will but your whole life you are gonna face that insult one way or another.

    ALLAH helped you to get out of the relation once because that was not good for you but you were hurt and broken so He showed true colors of that guy. Still you wanted that guy and you got him but you saw yourself that that guy didn't change then now what?

    I am sorry if i assumed many wrong things or said anything wrong but trust me just leave him. Ask ALLAH for forgiveness and better future. But this guy is not good for you. If he is your future husband then don't worry ALLAH will make way in a halal way or may be he realize what he is doing and approach you in Halal way. But for now you get out of this relation. Cut all ties with him. Whenever you miss him, just go recite Quran, Namaz or Tahajud because most of the time we feel emotional at night so start offering Tahajud.

    Pray and pray. Remember me in your prayers as well.

    ALLAH will help you out and yes don't ever lose faith in Him because emotionally we start losing hopes etc so don't allow shaitan to make you weak. ALLAH loves us 70 times more so have faith.

    May ALLAH Bless you.

  4. Well i hope you learned a big lesson.When we dont do the halal way to the exact point .This is the outcome. yes its a doggy dog world out there! Advice build your Iman and prepare for your janazah.

  5. Leave him immediately. Do not let him play with you anymore.

  6. Assalamu Alaikum,

    Haya, take the advice of the posters above, because it's very helpful. Best to stay away from him, it's not worth being in an abusive relationship. I ask Allah (swt) to grant you someone better, Ameen.

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