Feeling guilt and anxious over what will happen
Masturbation in State of Fasting
Assalam-alaikum,
In the past I've done something wrong which is mastur*****. I've really repented and I did taubah already. I promise to Allah that I will never ever do this shameful act anymore. The thing is, even though I'm trying to move on, I'm somehow very restless about this. I feel so ashamed of myself. When I wake up in the morning, I would always feel uneasiness. I can't even look at my face in the mirror. I'm so ashamed of myself.
I'm even confused whether I'm still a virgin or not. Even though I knew the answers, I still kept on being conscious about it. In my culture, they said that they can know if someone is still a virgin or not by looking at their forehead. They said that a virgins will have clean forehead and non will have forehead lines that will appear sometimes when we're talking or laughing. I don't know. These forehead lines is not caused by increase of age.
So currently, when I raise my forehead, the lines really are noticeable. Before, I had to bathe in the sunlight quite often for around 2/3 months because of curricular activities. So I'm guessing it could be too much exposure to the sun that caused me to have theses lines. But I still kept on wondering if it's true or not. Because before that curricular activities, I never even notice that there were even lines on my forehead.
I know this is nonsense and that's what I thought about this whole 'knowing someone's virginity just by looking at their physical traits'. I even thought that it's khurafah. I don't know anything about it. But my culture seems to believe it. I never found anything about it when it comes to Islamic related. Now I'm really scared to face people. I don't want to be judge by appearances and I'm weak when it comes to someone's judgement over me.
I want to move on. I'm so scared that my past action will be known by people somehow. I've kept it a secret but I keep on thinking how regretful that I did that. Now when I'm in the public I would always feel conscious and scared thinking that they might now my shameful act by looking at my face. That's why I can't even look myself in the mirror.
Seriously I'm dying inside. I've repented and swore to never do it again but my guiltiness just won't disappear. I'm just scared. I want to be pure and feel like I'm clean from those shameful act. Seriously, can somebody help me? Sometimes I over think like would someone want to marry me? Will all those people that walk and befriended with me will know if they just look at my face? Will I feel calm and be confident like I used to?
Servant of God.
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Allah Subhanatallah is most merciful . Allah's mercy prevails his wrath
yes you have committed a sin in your past and now you really feel guilty about it and you are saying that you have repented (tawba) ... listen mistakes can happen to any one but going on doing mistakes is bad but you are correcting your sin by sincerely repenting to Allah's Subhanatallah that's why you are feeling shameful when you look into mirror. If you go on doing sin then you wont have any shame or guilt.. my sister this is a chance to get closer to Allah.. surely Allah is oft forgiving he will surely forgive you 🙂
and about your culture my dear sister this is really stupid and foolish please don't believe in such thing just do 1 thing just start praying to Allah and try 2 get closer to him and surely my sister only by getting closer to Allah you will find peace and happiness
May Allah Subhanatallah guide every ummathi Muhammad on the straight path Ameen ya Allah
Assalaamualaikam
Facial lines can't be used to tell if someone is a virgin or not. They are due to facial expressions, changes in skin flexibility, life experience, age. It's not possible for someone to look at another person and say "they are/aren't a virgin".
Virginity is only lost medically upon penetrative intercourse with another person. However, innocence can be lost at any stage due to exposure or experience of inappropriate activities - your habit may well have left you feeling this loss of innocence.
But Alhamdulillah you have recognised your sin and are repenting; remember that we are taught of Allah's mercy and love for us all. True heartfelt repentance is loved by Allah, and inshaAllah you can now stay away from these acts.
After realising we have sinned, it is usual to feel disgusted and ashamed - inshaAllah, your distress should ease as you move further away from the sin and further towards the straight path. Try to remember this feeling, so that if in the future you feel tempted to return, you can ask yourself "do I really want to feel that way again?" and hopefully turn to appropriate activities instead.
With regards disclosure of sins, we are taught not to reveal our sins, so don't feel you have to tell people or prospective partners. Any mistakes we make are between ourselves and Allah, and He already knows all that is in our hearts. May Allah help you stay away from haraam activities and find peace.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
salam brother sisters i really need help i have read other post about masterbating i still cannit stop only during the day because the posts i read. but during the night time how do i control it your by ur self at night i just masturbated and i feel now im no muslim any more i had forgave allah 100 times i still continue i am no more its impossible to stop masturbating!!! this is it one more time i masturbate i will cut off my ------- i cannot handle myself anymore i feel hopless .
As-salamu alaykum brother (or sister). Don't be so hard on yourself and stop this silly talk about cutting anything. Masturbation does not take you out of Islam and some scholars do not even consider it haram, only makruh. Just make sure you are not viewing pornography. Relax and look forward to the day when you will marry, Insha'Allah. On some other posts here we have discussed ways to channel your sexual energy into other activities. Please check out those posts.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I believe what you're saying is true. However, nowadays, I kept on hearing things like guys that really practices their deens have some kind of ability to know about someone's virginity or when a women is having their period. It's crazy I tell ya! What's more, the one that told my friend about it was her own ustazh and ustz !!! That's why! I've been feeling conscious about it. I'm really scared to past by any guy!! Afraid that they might know something about my past sins.
# I would also like to know if I'm still considered as a virgin or not?? It creeps me out to think that I maybe not a virgin anymore.
What's more was, my friend was really confident about that because she was told by her own ustzh and ustz at her school !! what is this about??
I can't tell my distress to my best friend nor i can tell this to my mum but I can't move on to have a better life even though I've repented and i would love to be a sincere servant of Allah.
#Please help me find my confidence again.
theres no ability to tell if your a virgin thats people who say false things to you.and sis whats ustzh?your also not a virgin unless you have actual sex.
asaalam mualaikum this brother is right other people cannot tell weather your a virgin or not unless you tell them only Allah knows.these people at your school dont know what they are talking about and what is that word you keep saying usthz whats that.
ustzh: someone that teaches about islam. kinda like muslim teacher.
so what are you trying to say?
''you also not a virgin unless you have actual sex'' ? what? What does that mean??
You're saying i'm not a virgin or the other way around? i don't get it.
your not a virgin unless you have had sexual intercourse like what muslimah said but i dont know if your a virgin because what bad thing have you done you never mentioned??
I used to masturbate that is. I repented like seriously. I will never ever ever do that again in the future.
ok seriously! you are worrying too much about those lines on your forehead and if you kept worrying like this then God knows how many more lines you will get there. Those lines r called worry lines when they are deep otherwise almost everyone has them. they get noticeable when you raise your eyebrows so no big deal. i dont know about virgins...but i'll tell you how to catch the botox crazy liars. they dont get the lines on the foreheads (or any area which has undergone treatment) when they raise their eyebrows. plastic, wooden expressions they have.
As for masturbation, just stop thinking about sex. i know it is natural to think sometimes and the thought comes to you naturally. Hormones are naughty but dont entertain it like a movie. just tell yourself STOPPPP! get up and do your wudu and repeat it everytime the thought come. this excercise really works, listen to the expert. 🙂
when i read ur post i began to check my forehead in the mirror and then i thought ''Hello!! what am i doing? the whole world knows i have 2 kids''
interesting myth.
Lol, that's cheeky.
Muhammad1982,
Editor, IslamicAnswers.com
i am confused now.
when i was young my math teacher had like 10 lines in his forhead we use to always make fun of him.and masturbating does not mean your not a virgin.
answer:your a virgin still
What will happen if the one that's been claiming knowing someone's virginity is the ustazah or ustaz himself?! or an imam?? they claimed to have the knowledge of knowing someone's virginity. They even go as far as to lecture in masjid? on islamic students? Based on my research, I do believe there's no way. but now i'm confused because even someone that's so respectable has the courage to claim such a statement.
Clearly, I'm not just saying about having lines on forehead. They said many things are shown through someone's physical body that can show someone's virginity. I hate to hear that when they don't even know what causes the body to be like that such as lack exercise or what.
One more thing, why would someone such as imaam or ustazah or ustaz would want to know over something like that when observing someone's physical may lead to zina?
Please explain to me about this whole thing that has been claimed by the imaams, ustazah or ustaz in my place. I'm not sure if there are any knowledge about that or they just simply affected by culture.
salam maybe its possible the reason they wanna know is probably because your young and the utzah probably wants to know if u commited zinna idk but i heard that no one can tell if a boys a virgin but girls yes but the forhead thing is a myth its fake trust me some people say the lines are because u lie alot but its fake but i know theres a way to tell if your a virgin but masturbating does not mean your not a virgin u must be a virgin still.
if u masturbate ur a virgin still that means ur imams wrong and does not know nothing like for real.