Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I do not want to go to Jannah anymore because I am discouraged and feel guilty

In the hadith "None of you believes till he loves a brother for himself". What if you do not feel that way about a Muslim?

This boy whom I have known since toddler years HATES me. He told me in the face that he is praying for Allah so I will not go to Jannah. When I told him that hadith above he said that hadith refers to Muslim brothers helping each other and not helping Muslim women.

Does that hadith apply to women too? Do Muslim men must want the best for themselves also to a Muslim women? If so, does those Muslim women must be their mahram? Or does it matter if the muslim women are the Muslim men's mahrams or not? Also, isn't envy a sin? Isn't envy a characteristics of a hypocrite?

That boy told me that I am selfish to not only wanting to go to heaven but also wanting to go to Jannah fir douse. (The highest level of heaven.) Am I selfish in wanting to live in Jannah?

Lately, I don't want to go to Janna because I feel discouraged that I do not deserve to go because I am unworthy. Does Allah want me to go to Jannah? Am I sinful to thinking about not wanting to go to Jannah anymore and losing hope in myself?

I think i am in a crisis. That boy is so greedy and mean. Is being greedy also sinful?


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10 Responses »

  1. Dear Sister

    Forget about the sins sins sins. Live a good life, help the needy, make your career, be independent, keep doing good and if you do so ONLY good will come back to you may be sometimes late but it certainly will.

    That boy is praying so as to you should not go to Heaven. Astaghafirullah now he will decide whether who will go to heaven and who will go where. No pious person will ever wish like that even for his own rival. I am really laughing at those words. Tell him rather praying to ALLAH about not allowing you in Heaven, make sure he atleast has a place somewhere in Hell. 😀

    And again its not about WANT to go to HEAVEN. Its about EARNING that place in Heaven by doing good deeds on earth, by thinking wishing good about others. Everyone wants to go to Heaven. Have you ever heard anyone saying that He/She wants to go to Hell. Atleast i havent !

    So just relax.

  2. Can someone please answer to my post?

  3. Sister, Alhamdulillah I am a student of islamic knowledge. I would like to share the knowledge regarding the hadis and topic quoted here. Since I am from India, English need not be fluent.

    First of all according to scholars, that hadees not only includes women but also there are some opinion that it includes non-muslims as well. However for your consolation, there is another hadees says that A perfect muslim is one from whose tongue and hands, mankind is safe. This Hadees throughs the spotlight over that boy. And its forbidden to pray something wrong to fellow creation in islam. I say it is the pinnacle of crime in islam to pray for someone not to enter to Jannah. He is none but shaythaan itself, forget about you, he should not even make such dua against non muslins according to scholars bcs Allah only knows when he will give iamaan to a non-muslim and when he remove it from a muslim. May Allah protect us.

    Secondly Allah has not given right to anybody to speak on behalf of Allah. Forget about that boy not even for a pious man. Allah will ask on the day of resurrection to a pious man who once spoke on behalf of allah to a sinner and Allah will say "Did I appoint you to speak on behalf of me". It is the decree and knowledge that who will goto jannah and who will goto hellfire, nobody has given that right to speak on such topics. Tell him to be afraid of his status while walking in the swirath bridge.

    EnVy is a major crime. Yet dont worry sister, bcs envy is allowed in 2 things i.e Seeking islamic and doing good deeds. It is allowed to have an envy to secure more good deeds. You can feel bad and compete with rivalry in these 2 things. If your envy is for these 2 causes, you are among the good people. But you should not have mindset of others not to enter jannah or not to do good deed or not to earn knowledge. Hence that boy carrys envy and tell him to make thowba.

    I think last para answered your next as well. It is good to be selfish in entering into jannah but agaoin should not feel other not to enter jannah. Sahaba (companions of prophet s.a) where had such desire of reaching the highest level of jannah. That boy seems to be not having islamic knowledge hence tell him to make thowba for the sins he did.

    And finally sister it is a sin to think you are not willing to goto jannah. Bcs Allah says in Quran (Zumar 39:53) that DO NEVER DESPAIR FROM MY MERCY. (you can see the translation). So everybody has the hope bcs no sin can be more than the mercy of Allah. Forget all the madness done by that boy. Just go back to allah repent for feeling not want enter to jannah. Its all shaytaan game to make you think like that deviate you from right path. Dont blame the boy, just advise him once if possible and stay away from him. May Allah forgive him for such wrong dua and you also forgive him sister for the mistake he caused. Again being greedy also a major sin.

    Always ask about islam with local scholars and dont take all such things told by such people. He has no right to draw analogy on that hadees bcs prophet (s.s)said that whoever tells a lie on my name (wrong hadees or wrong interpretation) shall only end up in tasting blazing hellfire.

    Thank allah that he didnt took your soul when you were such status of not willing enter jannah and make thowba and increase your god deeds, give up the all contact with that boy. Pray for me and all of us. Read quran traslation to get more consolation.

  4. You're being bullied. This happens to other kids and there are cases where the person being bullied takes their own life. What you need to do is tell your parents, tell your teacher and anyone else willing to listen. You need to stop talking to this kid as he does not have good intentions for you. I recommend you take this very seriously as over time he will start to erode your self worth.

    In the news there was a girl that took her own life because a guy made her cry regularly and kept telling her that she should kill herself. Please do not kill yourself, or believe anything this guy is telling you. Do not let him destroy your self esteem.

    As for Janah, his prayers for someone else not getting in have nothing to do with anything. It is your deeds and your belief and Allah that determines what will happen.

    And one should be good to others:
    Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.

    It does not say to not have good conduct with women.

  5. who the hell he is to decide somebody's fate is he God? if he cant stand you to see you in Jannah he can go to hell for sure.
    he is plain stupid and effecting you. he is doing to hurt you and control you. avoid talking to him if he is your brother.
    so ok now with great difficulty, i am able to find the ayat as i am reading surah an-nisa these days and you are very fortunate coz it was in my mind that the verse about men and women is written in this surah . so here it is

    [Nisa 4:124] And whoever does some good deeds, be it a man or woman, and is a Muslim, will be admitted to Paradise and they will not be wronged even to the extent of one sesame.

    he cannot reject Quran if he rejects it is written those who reject the ayahs of Quran will be punished severely and they will enter hell so please ignore the pschopath.

  6. Sister In my reply I used term envy and greedy both for arabic term Hasad.

  7. Sister i feel for you. Lets just say i was once really religious close to god and everything loved him so much and everything and maybe that love can never be distinguished but recently ive gone mentally sick where i thought i was someone else and the problem was because of religion i became psychotic and severely depressed can barely think about this world right now and making it through then thinking about the akhira. I am on many medications and have been hospitalized for a long time and am not allowed to even read the quran so i pretty much gave up on jannah completely just making it through day by day. I ve completely lost my way and trust in anything i guess the only thing left is that i am muslim

    • Yahya, Allah understands and sees your difficulties. He will not punish you for your struggles; just the opposite, He will reward you for your patience. I cannot understand, though, why you would not be allowed to read the Quran. The Quran can be a source of comfort in difficult times.

      Wael Editor

  8. Sister, oh beautiful sister. I have felt your pain. I understand your thinking. I used to think it was wrong of me to want to be in the 7th heaven, but i see now that it is not only wonderful but loved by Allah. You see many people are more worried about this Dunya rather than the hereafter, and He wants you to think of Janna. Don't feel ashamed. Allah is guiding you, not that boy or others. Be a doer of good and help others. Love yourself and give. Think pure thoughts and when you have negative thoughts, just remember its the human mind. We humans are programed by Allah to think a cergain way. Thats why the thoughts are not so important. You must free yourself from these binds. That boy is wrong. And Allah will take care of him for miss guiding you and talking bad of Allah. If you read the Quran you will see that he mentions women so many times. More than men. Not because women are better or whatever but because we do the hardest things than any human does. We do the unseen thjngs that Allah has guided us to do. Women are a sign of beauty to Allah. Don't think that boy is right. Janna is for every doer of good, for every believer. Continue to dream about the 7th heaven. I do all the time and i am more than excited for it. And the more you think like this, the more Allah will become the eyes you see with, the ears you hear with, the mouth you speak with, the hands you touch with, ans the feet you walk with. And you will start to do things that you never dreamt of. He wants you to dream of the 7th heaven, so do not give up sister. May Allah's blessings be upon you. And pray to him for a long beautiful life of following him and i promise you, he won't disappoint you. Salam sister.

  9. Bismiallahi al rahman al rahim

    Why are u worried since allah is the only one who can determine our fate plus yes allah hears all duas which believer made but there are exceptions allah may not hear the Duas that made for the sake of evil
    and bad for Muslim brother u can make did to guide him straight path
    or say shhh plus Hazrat Mohammed(saw) said none of u enter jannah except by his mercy so the question is not what did i do to make me worthy of jannah by what did i do to make me worthy of his mercy to jannah so about jannah alfirdouws hazrat mohammed said if u ask allah for jannah ask him for firdows so Allah will be happy if u ask him for this but don't ever despair on the mercy of Allah make effort then make dua as the old saying goes "tie ur camel and pray for Allah" and know and learn the tricks of Satan that leads u astray and have confidence in Allah then yourself and take tour role model the greate women's in Islam history and be like them as much as u can

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