Is my Nikkah valid or do I need to do it again?
Asalamalayku,
I would like to ask about my marriage. Those who are answering this please be as specific in accordance to ISLAM.
Since Allah(swt) has guided me and inshallah will forgive me for my sins. I would like to explain the scenario. I don't feel comfortable approaching Imam or of someone with greater knowledge.
I have been married for 10years with children. Before I married my wife, she was non-Muslim and married to an Atheist. According to her she was living with him but no sexual relationship after gaining more knowledge about Islam without accepting there and then, due to family and not ready because of her situation. She did try to give him knowledge about Islam but he refused to accept it. At the same time they both had the shared property in their names. So, it wasn't easy to just move out and also because of family shame.
She did marry him on her acccordance against her parents will. But after she had accepted Islam she was still under the same roof as him but seperate room. Thats when I meet her and we started dating and pretty much after 3months of dating she sold the house and got divorced. We were dating and (shaytan got both of us with weak iman and took us on a ugly journey) had sexual intercourse after 3 months doing our own nikah using the Quran and no witnesses (fearing my parents won't accept her). After 2 more months my mum wasn't happy and decided to get us married with proper Nikkah (I still stuffed up by forcing her to have intercourse during her period). My question is:
1. Does Iddah (waiting period) apply in her scenario? With her first marriage and with me?
2. Is our Nikkah valid or do I need to do it again?
3. I feel I have disrespected my parents and did not do the right thing, should I tell them the full truth or just leave it as it is?
4. Any further advice?
Regards,
Mo
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Salaams,
I am not sure why you would prefer the advice of laypeople like us over an imam or scholar. When it comes to the fiqh of marriage, it's important to have a valid opinion that you can use to make necessary decisions with. If we give you an answer, and it happens to be incorrect but you take it and work from it because of your reluctance to approach a more reliable source, that is putting you in further jeopardy.
I will do the best I can to briefly answer your questions.
1. an Iddah applies to any Muslim female, regardless of the circumstances. If her iddah started because of her conversion (as the unbelieving spouse is given such time to convert as well), it follows the same course and protocol as an iddah following the talaq given by a believing husband. Iddah is Iddah, so if she was dealing with you during hers, that would have been sinful on her part. She should've waited until it was over before starting to look for another husband.
2. If your nikkah had no witnesses at all it could not possibly be valid. You would not be considered married at this time, so yes you will need to have another nikkah, an authentic one. However, if you've already done that step, then there would be no need for a third one.
3. Since you didn't give any details about what you said to your parents or how you disrespected them, I can't really give any feedback on this one. All you mentioned about your parents at all is that your mother had you redo the nikkah, and that you did a false nikkah initially because you feared they wouldn't accept her. If you want to give more details so we can better assess what happened, that would help.\
4. Clearly you are feeling uncomfortable about your current marriage. I could be wrong, but I sense there's more going on than just multiple nikkahs and some scattered sinful history. I am wondering if you are questioning if you married the right person altogether? Like I said I may be wrong, so if I am please forgive me.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor