Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Pregnant but worried my addiction will affect baby

Pregnant teen

Assalamu Alaikum,

I am pregnant and in my first trimester, I sinned and repented and again sinned. I watched very bad videos and I did secret habit my worst addiction (masturbation). I even missed my Salah.

I did all this while my baby was growing inside me and now I am going to complete my first trimester (first 3 months) and I've repented. I am trying to gain knowledge of Islam and Quran to purify my soul and to get rid of this addiction.

Before pregnancy, I tried to stop my addiction. When I stopped completely watching bad videos, the bad thoughts started coming in my dreams as visuals. I feel I am stuck with this addiction.

I regret all my sins but now I am worried about my baby. What'll happen to the baby? I feel like a bad mother. So many thoughts are coming.

Like will my baby be bad like me? Will the baby have mental or behavioural problems because of my addiction? I am worried a lot. Will Allah punish me? Please advise me.

Naadflower

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12 Responses »

  1. Why should your masturbation affect your baby? Its not going to do any harm to the baby at all.

    What will harm your baby is you obsessing and stressing about masturbation. The ruling on masturbation is not clear and may even be permitted if that is the only you are going to avoid greater sin.

    Allah says he has deliberately not mentioned the lawfulness of certain things because of his mercy and this applies to things like masturbation.

    I would suggest you stop stressing about it as far as its lawfulness goes and get help with giving up masturbation - lots of stuff on the internet to help you, and if you cannot, don't stress about it, its no major sin assuming it is a sin. Its the stress that can hurt your baby not the masturbation.

  2. Sister ,
    There is no excuse to watch Porn .Its haraam in all circumstances .
    You need to adopt good life style , read Salah, Quran .
    Make lot of dua and ask for forgiveness a f Insha Allah Allah will bless you a good baby ..
    Always divert your mind towards something constructive work when there is urge to watch bad things.
    Keep remembering that Allah is watching you and baby is still part of your baby .These should be your motivation to do good things .

  3. Asalaamualaykum Sister Naadflower,

    Your baby will not be affected by your actions, but it's possible that a genetic factor could predispose your baby to addictive tendencies later in life. That is, if you really think you have a true addiction and not just a passing habit. The tendency toward addiction can be genetic in nature.

    While the rulings behind masturbation are grey, I think it is in your best interest to stop. Ask Allah in prayer or dua to help you with this tendency. To provide you with other occupation that is more fulfilling to you. You are wasting a lot of time on something that could be better spent elsewhere. You will also feel a lot better about yourself and respect yourself more once you've stopped.

    Hugs,

    Nor
    IslamicAnswers

    • Thank you sister for the response.....i have one more question....what can i do for the fetus not to have this addiction...the genetic disposition...what i have to do to avoid this?? please give me some advise

      • Thank you sister for the response and i love to stop this addiction forever..you know what this addiction is disgusting.....I would like to say that this started when i was 11 years old...my dad bought me a mobile and i used to see bad pics....that was the beginning....then after that the real habit (masturbation) started when i was 21 years old i was surfing the net and i saw the M word and started to search on it....then it started and so difficult to stop now and i am not going to give up...I will continue to struggle to stop this.....i still dont know is this habit or addiction......i have one more question....what can i do for the fetus not to have this addiction...the genetic disposition...what i have to do to avoid this?? please give me some advise

        • naadflower,

          What you can do so that your fetus doesn't have this is to stop your self from doing it .Also stop thinking about all these things .
          Why can't have you SEX with husband to fill your desire ? That will be normal and healthy and halal .
          Why he is missing from the picture here ?

          • When he goes for work...I am alone at that time these thoughts comes....it’s very difficult to ward off my dear sister......I pray to Allah this kind of addiction nobody should get this...very dangerous for your imaan and for your soul.....I want to get rid of this addiction....I am trying but again same thing happens again I repent and again.....sometimes I am fed up of this.....it feels so bad to disobey Allah and feel bad for my husband....In Sha Allah I ll never give up....I ll do my Salah and worship Allah unless this addiction goes away from me....I really don’t know why this happening to me....

          • naadflower ,

            This looks serious addiction problem as pregnancy itself comes up with lot of mood changes , pain ,restlessness etc etc .Under such situation going for porn means its serious addiction problem with you .Also you have husband available for sex . I suggest you to take the help of some professional to fix it .
            How old are you and which country ? I feel with age desire for watching Porn goes down and also place of stay also matter .

        • Sister Naadflower,

          You could see a therapist to help you if you are not embarrassed about talking about it. Also, people usually resort to an addiction, whether it be porn or alcohol or gambling, when they have unresolved emotional issues from childhood. As a child, they don't know any other way to deal with their emotions. Were you neglected as a child? Or did you come from a very dysfunctional family? Did you drown yourself in your addiction because it was easier than feeling the pain? If this applies to you, a licensed therapist can help you. They are paid to deal with these very types of problems.

          Another thing to help is to try to remember that whenever you give up something for the sake of Allah, He provides you with something better. If you can remember this, that something better awaits you, you may have something to "live for" after you get over the addiction.

          Aside from that, just try your best to avoid it. That's all anyone can do. Allah knows how difficult it is for you to stop, and if you persevere in your efforts or remember Allah often, especially right before you are about to masturbate, He will help you refrain from it. Trust Him 🙂

          Hugs,

          Nor
          IslamicAnswers

  4. Sis Naadflowe,

    My wife had faced the similar kind of situation of viewing pornography during the first trimester of her pregnancy whilst i used to be on work. Though I had sat her down and tried to help her out. I don't know either she had repented or not but she was quite and silent when I found out. I tried to know the root cause as she was not open and communicative so i couldn't figure out, that what goes in her mind or women's mind when they view theses things. Is it like husband is not enough or some kind of fantasy which women do not want to share. I will appreciate sis if you can tell from your perspective so it might help me to understand the cause.

    • The root cause is the thought itself......sexual thoughts and whispers....its not husband's fault.....husband is enough but these thoughts of doing bad actions is the problem because when we are alone..shaitan whispers and we do it but when someone is there we don't.....i am still struggling.....I can't tell anyone...i am feeling shameful to talk about it.....Whenever i sin...i do ghusl and pray 2 rakat.....but i want to permanently stop this sin.....What else can I do? Include me in your duas

      • sis Naadflower,

        Thank you for your reply. I will only suggest that please keep yourself busy with positive thoughts. Stay ba wazoo, do Azkar as much as you can. If these thoughts comes then try to repel it or change your position. Like if you sit in a room please move to living or another room etc. I know its difficult and you might have adopted these techniques. I will request that you should listen some bayan as well. The one i recommend is Moulana Sajjad Nomani on the same problem of avoiding these bad thoughts and whisper. The title is "How to avoid sins in loneliness" Tanhai k gunhon sey kaisey bachain."

        May Allah ( SWT) protect you and your thoughts and bless you a beautiful baby.

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