Need duas to help my husband get rid of drinking problem
"He drinks alcohol..."
Asalamu alaekum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu-
I'm 27yrs old Pakistani housewife got married about 2yrs back and have a baby boy mashaAllah 8months old.
i've done hajj and got honor of sitting for aetakaaf alhamdullilah before i got married.
Since I conceived, my widow mother-in-law started making troubles for me; like not letting me take naps (as I had serious vomiting and nausea issues). She left all house-hold work on me and didn't allow me to keep a servant like I was used-to at my mum's place where they have 4/5servants at a time.
I don't mind doing work, but after work is done, I keep on listening complaints about what I haven't done and whats bad is all because of me around. OK NEVERMIND this is what mothers in law are all about.
Later, I started realizing that my husband's being misinformed about me and things I'm doing. I used to do all work and time I used to go for some rest, she used to call and tell she's not coming out she's not doing anything blah blah blah. She created so many misunderstandings between both of us, I stopped giving any kind of explanations and used to recite darood sharif with my eyes closed instead of arguing and fighting with him.
I didn't want to get a son angry with his mother who actually is mentally sick and insecured lady or whatever. But now sometimes I feel I did wrong because his those doubts and misunderstandings are still there forever.
He started staying away from me, giving me less time I needed and often used to disappear with friends and when I tried complaining, instead I was blamed that its all because of me! I'm being rude to him that's why he's not giving me time.
Few days back, his elder bro came from U.S.A and I found beer cans at my place. I shouted and screamed around why such haraam things are here this is a Muslim family's place. Only he was with me at home that day and instead of telling me, he said I am not bound to give you answers for everything I do or where I go so shut up. I complained to his mother, she said its not his but elder bro's beer cans you shouldn't doubt your husband I know him well and all.
I waited for the day when his elder bro was gone and kept on observing things around. Two days later, I found him with beer cans in his hands. I fought with him again. None was home that day also just me and him and I kept on crying, screaming, shouting and banging my head why it's all going around. He had no answer other than you have never found me drunk or insane so shut up I know what I am doing.
I was so much upset, I went to his mother again for help to stop him thinking may be she'd be worried about her son.
Two days later, instead of what I complained, my mother in law made a fledged case against me; I misbehave, I never entertain her daughters and their families, I never take interest at home, I always am rude this and that and what not. I only requested "you ask your son leave bad things I'll never ask for anything in life ever". She, and her daughters made a party and started pressurizing me since that day - kept on insulting me for nothing and all I did was said "sorry you'll never get any complaint again" and stopped talking any good nor bad to them.
I recited salaath-hajath and realized I should better leave my problems to Him who has created all this for me instead of asking these insecure ladies who are never going to stop him from anything because they are worried what if he repels and leaves them forever.
Recently his mothers and sisters arranged a trip for me and him and we did go, and before leaving for the trip, I found wine bottle and cans in shelf again. I seriously don't know what to do? I'm requesting him off and on to stop this nonsense but he's not listening because there's no elder man at home to check or stop him. None's ready to support my point, and I've come to realize they all knew everything about it already.
My mother has told me stay there and keep on trying because my father isn't well and we can't give him any depression at all by taking stand on this issue.
1- What should I recite to stop him ruining his life this way ? I love him a lot and I know I won't be able to stay without him happily but these serious problems are asking me to leave his place and get rid of all haram happenings around.
2- I am looking for job so I may not get involved in eating/drinking haram and earn for myself and my baby myself but I am not getting anywhere, what should I recite for that?
3- Any other dua and advice to make my life peaceful, happier, and successful on the day of judgement, plz do tell!
jazaakAllah kher,
- Star Sparkle
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my the peace of Allaah be upon you and your unborn son.
sister, you should recite your morning AND evenining athkaar so that Allaah saves the evil of his creation away from you.
you should recite the three quls [surah naas, surah falaq, surah ikhlas] three times each and rub all over your body.
read the dua "Bismillaahil-lathee laa yadurru ma'a ismihee shay-unn fil ardhi walaa fis-samaa-i wahuwa-samee'-ul-baseer"
this is your biggest weapon.
As your husband has refused to stop drinking point blank and made it clear, save yourself and your unborn child.
Sister wallahi this is a very very evil family, they are not even disturbed by his drinking, never tried to stop him, never tried to advice him, this is a wicked family my sister, and i hope you do not plan to raise you clean children in such an environment.
the prophet[saww] has told us in a hadeeth that when a group of people STOP forbidding what is evil and STOP enjoining what is good, Allaah sends them their punishment in this dunya before the hereafter.
many many families and tribes of banii israil were punished in this dunya because they did npot forbid the evil amongst their relatives.
Allaah says in surah maadidah what is a rough translation of
"the disbelieving children of Israel were cursed [punished] at the tongue of of david and jesus, that is because they rebelled and were transgressors, they never forbade the evil which their people used to do, and how evil is that which they used to do"
so therefore sister, i would advice you give your husband one last ultimatum between you and his alcohol.
if he chooses his beer, then you should leave this wicked family, who are heading in a very horrific path.
he is harming your religion my sister and giving you a lot of mental stress which is not good for the pregnancy.
may allah replace him with a good, loving muslim husband and decent in laws for you.
whatever you leave for the sake of allah, allah will give you something better.
Sister,
May Allah help you in your struggles. It appears your husbands true colors and that of his families are now coming to light. Give your husband an ultimatum, he either stops drinking and gets some help or end this marriage. Alcohol is haram, a destroyer of lives and wastes the body away. My father was an alcoholic and it
destroyed my parents marriage. He was a fornicator and didn't care about anyone but himself. He left
my mother for another woman (best thing ever).
Life passes us by like that of a falling star...fast. There is no need for you to stay in a marriage where you
are neither respected or held in the high esteem of the beautiful woman that you are. Put the ball in his court
and see what he does with it. If he isn't willing to play by your rules, do what you need to do and put yourself
and your child first. It is obvious that your husband thinks he will do what he wants and you will merely follow in silence. Be strong, stand up for who you are and let him know that you will not live this way now or ever. If his beer is more dear to him than his life with you and your child, you are losing nothing by leaving but an alcoholic fool of a man.
Salam and best of luck to you
Love the phrase "beer is more dear"......
May Allah give us all hiadah (Ameen)
Salamualaikum,
Sister, life is full of trials and tribulations. If you have patience in this and keep your Lord Pleased, then insha Allah, your end will be among the good ones who will enter the Jannah.
Indeed, alcohol is al umm al Khabaaith which means 'the mother of all evils'. It destroys families, as brother Abdullah mentioned. And the worst part is that your husband is not being stopped by his own mother. She is leading her own son to destruction.
Sister, have you managed to know the reason he drinks? I mean to ask if he drinks because he has this evil habit and he does it for pleasure due to his nonReligiousness, or does he do so due to some kind of depression? He is wrong in either case, but course of action may depend on this.
My sister, you are going to lose nothing if they feel you are low, what matters is your taqwa which is what Allah Sees.
Your intention to earn Halal for yourself and your baby is great, Alhamdulillah. And the fact that you trust in Allah is even greater, wal Hamdulillah.
Sister, you may have to talk to your husband about his actions and ask him to stop this, as this is Haraam. Show him the Aayaat of the Quran and the Ahadeeth of Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam that prohibit it. Be gentle while you do this. Allah Knows, he may be melted by this.
See if this works. He may also tell you the reason he drinks, in the process, if it is not just for his pleasure.
Insha Allah, you tell us if this works, so that we can advise you further.
Now, for some duas.
The hearts of the children of Adam are between two fingers of Allah, as His Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam informed us. He used to read this dua often:
Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, Thabbit Qalbi Ala Deenik “
Oh Turner of Hearts, keep my heart firm on Your Deen.”
Also pray to Allah that He turns your husband's heart towards His Obedience.
Also recite the following:
"Allahumma aslih li dhurriyyati, Allahumma ighfirli wa liwalidayya, Allahumma aslih zawji, Allahumma yassir li rizqan halalan tayyiban, Allahumma waffiq wulata al-umuri likulli khayr, Allahumma aslih bitanatahum
(O Allah! Set aright the conditions of my children. O Allah! Forgive my sins and the sins of my parents. O Allah! Set aright my husband. O Allah! Facilitate for me the way to earn a good and lawful sustenance. O Allah! Guide the Muslim rulers to all that is good. O Allah! Keep their advisors on the right path).
Allahumma ighfirli, wa- rhamni, wa-hdini, wa-`afini, wa-rzuqni
(O Allah! Forgive me, have mercy on me, guide me, grant me wellbeing and grant me sustenance)."
Allahumma inni a`udhu bika ina al-bukhl, wa a`udhu bika mina al- jubn, wa a`udhu bika an uradda ila ardhali al-`umr, wa a`udhu bika min fitnat ad-dunya, wa a`udhu bika min `adhab al-qabr
(O Allah! I seek refuge with You from miserliness, I seek refuge with You from cowardice, I seek refuge with You from being brought back to a bad stage of old age, I seek refuge with You from the trials of life, and I seek refuge with You from the punishment in the grave.
(duas taken from Fataawa Noorun Alad Darb)
Insha Allah, supplicate to Allah profusely with there supplications and more from the book of duas called Hisn al Muslim or Fortress of the Muslim, available for download on http://www.islamhouse.com or for purchase (hard copy) from an Islamic Center.
Then speak to your husband to see if it works, insha Allah it will. May Allah set your husband aright. Aameen.
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaamaleykum sister can u get in touch with me plz im 23 years old need ask you something. Thank you
sami, you can write whatever you need to here in this public space.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam Alaykum,
Brother
I recently got married to the person I love, I didn't know about his bad side until when I finally got in. He smokes weed on a daily basis and drinks alcohol occasionally subhanallah. During our early weeks of marriage, I used to complain and show him some hadith on how it spoils his salat but he knows all those but he just can't help it( he wants to quit drinking but has bad friends). And yes he does it for pleasure but Alhamdulillah he's improving. I cannot tell his mom about it because the news might affect her, he's all that she's got, neither can I tell anyone about it. I need assistance on how to bend him to stop gradually? And how to separate him from the bad companies?
Jazakhallahu Khayran
jazaakAllah kher to all!
may Allah swt bless u all with happiness and success in life save from all kind of calamities always-
I'd like to wish u all Happy Ramadan first of all as this is the month of collecting blessings as many as we can.
after writing my problem over here, i found few duas to recite 101 times for 40 days on water and make him drink that . i'd like to share those with my fellow readers :
1- " Ooh La'a ikka Alla'a Hudann Min Rabbihim Wa Ula'aikka Hummull Muflihoon" ( i hope i've written it correctly)
this dua am reciting since ramadan has started and am Alhamdullilah seeing positive changes in his attitude- dont know if he has started hiding things from me, but Apparently as i can see, things r changing Alhamdullilah-
2- "fasa yakk feeka hummulla ho wa huwwass samee ull aleem" this dua i keep on reciting off and on so that he starts thinking about me and his baby-
3- " salaamun alaekum bimma sabartum fa na'ema uqbadaar" this dua is to keep patience specially when you get hurt by someone - it helps strengthen your faith on Allah swt.
i dont know if am doing right thing or wrong by trusting him and giving him chance like he asked me to, but i believe one should have faith on Allah and his holy book Quran and its teachings which are always healing for everyone. and instead of leaving my battle half, i should better stay and fight for him, myself and my baby.
*** my fellow brothers asked me few things i'd like to answer :
1- my baby is mashaAllah 9 months old now
2- he started drinking because his elder bro did same and their father died 16 years back when he was a school kid- what his mother and sisters are afraid of is he'll stop talking to them if they'll stop him from doing bad- and this way by supporting him in his all activities whether good or bad, they'll stay in his good books forever- on second note, i feel like his family feels "Fashionable & modern" socially this way-
3- its not like he doesnt knows wts haraam or halaal- he knows everything better than me- and this is wt major problem is when you know and still do it.. thats y i've left everything on Allah coz he is the one who can get anyone off the track or back to line anytime anyways-
Sister,
Reading specific Aayaat specific number of times for a specific purpose is not proven from the Quran and the Sunnah. Anything that has to do with worship ('Ibaadah) has to have proof. You should suffice with the duas that are proven from the Quran and the Sunnah.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Aslam O Alaykum dear sister can you please tell me where I can find these duas which you had mentioned so I can tell someone I know whos going through the similar situation.
JAZAK ALLAH!
Sorry I cant understand ayah's written in english properly 🙁 so kindly give reference from surah nd verse no. as well from Quran.. cuz i reli want to practice all these duas regularly.. Jazkallah
Salamualaikum Brothers and sisters I need ur help I'm new to this website so I don't know where to post my question...
But anyway I need some advice and here is my question my husband drinks with his friends when ever he goes to their place I really don't know how to stop it when he comes home I can smell it and than I asked him and he tells me yeah I had a few I want him to STOP and he tells me that he will but it never happenes i want to tell his parents but he always stop me from doing it. When he comes back from his friends place we have a huge fight and I'm so sick of it. I sometimes leave him for a month to go to my parents place but than he tells me that he's done with it and he has change and he wants me back home. he will be fine for five months and then it will start all over again..
What is the question?
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Waalaikkum assalaam warahmathullahi wa barakathahu
Dear sister,
Your story is exactly match with our family. I'm from India. U r a 2years baby for these problem but we r 28 years old for this problem. But dont worry allah is great.
1. Recite al- muminun surah chapter 23 daily inshaallah ur husband will get rid from consuming alcohol.
2. Whenever u look at ur husband, mother- in-law, sisters - in - law keep on saying auzubillahi minasshaythanirrazeem bismillahir rahmanir raheem, surah falaq, ikhlaas, nas, kafiroon.
3. Whenever a muslim is struck with calamity, or is taken over by a situation beyond his control la hawla wala quwwatha illa billah " there is no power nor strength save in allah".
4. Recite 100 times daily laa ilaaha illallaahu wahdahu laashari khalahu lahul mulkhu walahul hamdu wahuwa alaa khulli shai- in kadeer inshaallah shaitan will run from u all and everything will be alright.
kindly check this link
http://www.yaallah.in/2015/05/11/dua-to-get-rid-of-alcohol/
I need duas for my daughter she drink and smoke. Whenever you tell her to stop drinking she will tell you God give her permission to drink .she stop practicing Islam after marriage. She start consuming heavy after living an abusive marriage. She live far away from me. How can help with duas since she live faraway from me.