My husband treats me very badly; what should I do?
Can you recognise the cycle of abuse?
Salam alykum,
I would like to ask you what I can do. My husband pray and he fears Allah, but sometimes he is hurting me so much with his words. I am pregnant and when I was pregnant 6 months he beat me with his belt very badly, that I had bruises for month. I feel he is treating me worst then before, keeps insulting me, sending me to another man, humiliating me and now he said to me that he want to go back to his ex wife that she was better then me. Just for inf
~Luciagera
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Salam Alekum Sister,
I am sorry to hear that your husband is one of the lowest forms of mankind. What kind of man would beat his wife with a belt, especially when she is carrying his child?! What do you mean, "he sent you to another man?" Not sure I am understanding you correctly here and do not want to assume anything.
If you have family sister, go to them. This man is a coward with low self esteem. It makes him feel like a big man to disrespect you and beat you like the girl he is. If you stay with him the way he treats you, things will only get worse with time. There is no reason for him to behave with you this way and you do not deserve this type of treatment...ever. I pray you have family that will take you in. Let them know what is happening so they can help you.
Salam
1. leave him, think of what he is capable of doing to your kids or to you in front of your kids and how that will affect them;
2. report to the police if at all possible;
3. tell your neighbours, family, friends if that will stop him out of embarrassment or fear;
4. video record him, take pictures of bruises as evidence in case needed in future;
5. get help from the local mosque or other local organisations such as women's charities etc.
The husband can change, but not at your or kids price. He needs help from a sheikh, a doctor, family, friends, etc. Most likely he is depressed due to past psychologically and is taking out on you. He may also be simply a violent individual due to his past or whatever.
First and foremost, protect yourself and your kid, and out of all the ideas I have given to you, choose the one that is best and easiest for you and DO IT PLEASE!
Allah does not oppress and has forbidden oppression for us on each other, don't oppress yourself and make your kids suffer, please.
A brother.
Salam sister
I am sorry to what happen to you. I sometimes don't understand how can a man disrespect, verbally abuse, or beat his wife while at the same time he looks pious. It is like night and day and I feel this kind of man has mentally illness...from my opinion he might grow or live in the situation where some of his family did these things and he does the same thing when he feels angry. His divorce might be related to his abusive behavior as well.
I agree with sister Najah that you should let your family know about it because you are pregnant now and you need to feel relax, comfort and distressed. If it is possible stay away from him by reason you need to be in your family till the baby given birth. You can shalat Istikharah about your matter while waiting the birth. you know insha Allah what to do by also seeing his reaction toward the baby's appearance. he may change, he may not...but of course you need to talk too. But save the baby first.
May Allah make him a better husband in this Syahr Mubarak. Amin
i say u please get the reason why he is doing like that with u
plz inform ur parents regarding his behaviour towards u
and make policence complaint against u
and dont do haram by sleeping with other mans when ur husband send u to other man
keep patients and ask for allaha help
and immediate return to ur parents and complain to police