Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to marry my other half but his family won’t accept

hijabi sister

I have been with this guy for nearly two years. I am a recent revert to Islam. He has met all my family and they are very much accepting of him but when it came to him telling his family about me there was a problem. He is Indian and I am from a Caribbean background. I met his sister and from the moment she heard about it she already made her judgements and made her decision of not accepting before meeting me. When I met her she was very nasty towards me telling me she and her family would spit on me and that they would never accept me because of the different culture. And she just said loads of horrible things towards me. She then went back and informed the mother about the situation which meant that she made her judgement from that.

Now this has created a problem for me as this is the man I want to marry and he's made it apparent that he wants to marry me. But I don't think he will go ahead with anything because he wants his families blessing. I have looked online for advice on this and answers on such situations and I found that the man may want his families blessings but isn't required but the woman must have permission and blessings off her family. (Which I have got) so the problem now lies with his family. I need advice on whether to go ahead with wanting to marry him or not

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2 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaykum mlcx_98,

    Thank you for writing in. I am very sorry to hear that your interest's side of the family is not accepting of your background or willing to put in the time to get to know you as you really are.

    Do you know how close he is to his sister and mother? Your lives would be easier if he had their blessing, of course, but the way that his sister behaved towards you, as you describe, was completely disrespectful and inhumane, and not the way we are taught to behave towards our fellow human beings. Most importantly in your situation, it is not something that you want to be around on a regular basis, which you might be if you were married to him.

    If you want to be with him regardless or at least see if there is a chance for his family members to come around with time, I would definitely cut ties and separate yourself from him until things are sorted out with this matter of blessing, as it sounds like he will not go ahead with marriage unless he has blessing in it, which is not forthcoming.

    Take care and May Allah ease things for you,

    Nor

  2. Assalaamualaykum mlcx_98

    Additionally, if you find yourself confused about how to move forward, you could pray the Salat al-Istikhara, a prayer in which you ask Allah to help you decide among two alternatives. You can find information on this prayer in the blue row atop this page. In the prayer, you ask Allah to guide you towards the better of the options, and to make you content with that.

    Inshallah you will have your answer,

    Hugs,

    Nor

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