Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m addicted to pornography and masturbation

Homeless youth, running away, street kid

A.O.A Dear brothers and sisters. As you can see my name I dont need to introduce myself but i need to confess that i am addicted to porn and masturbation. Dont judge me i know this is a VERY bad sin and i have been addicted to it for almost a year.

I'm 13 and well my memories from the past mostly drag me back to this sin. I cant confess this to my family or else they will be dissapointed as they know my sister is addicted too but thats not the point. The point is i need to get rid of this addiction.

Its like this. I sit there playing games then i get an erection. i start thinking somewhere else (in the game) and then memories of my past start coming in. Then i shake them off. Then i walk a bit to get rid of it. It doesnt go, i masturbate then. I need to quit.

I also keep repenting but after repentance, i revert back the next day. I cant even cry anymore because of these 2 sins. I REALLY need help dear muslims. I recite prayer as well. I cant fast as my parents will have a thought in there brain that i do a sin and am trying to get rid of it (any of these 2 actually) so i ask again PLEASE help me.

There is also another problem that is maybe fueling this. There is a JINN in the house in which we live in. We are Armanians so we are waiting to get out of the house. Its true. I heard something once in my sleep. A horrible and demonic voice. I woke up and everyone was sleeping. And this one time i saw something strange. It was well in a room (guest\spare room) and it was standing there. just standing there. and I could only see it with my side eye. Whenever i turned my face it was not there. and my sister also saw it too as a "White Sphere'.

Please help me dear muslims. I am in serious vain. Also pray for me that May Allah SWT help me get rid of these addictions and also make my heart soft again. May you all be blessed.

M.Taha


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7 Responses »

  1. Salam Brother.

    I commend you for reaching out to seek help and in sha Allah I will do my best to provide a solution for the pornography problem. As for the Jinn, please seek help from a local scholar that may be able to help with regards to the jinn.

    Masturbation is the result of pornography and in order to curb this habit you have to control what content is available on the internet. The best way to deal with this problem is to download parental control software because they help significantly. The best two that i use in my home are K9 Web Protection and Qustodio. Both of these are free and easy to use and you do need both because each software has loopholes which the other patches up.

    First step is to make a new email account which you will use to setup both programs. When you do this, make the password so that you cannot remember it. One way to do this is to open a word processing program and type in random keys and use this for all the password fields required for registration. If you do this, print out the password and give it to someone you trust. An alternative is to have someone else set the password for you. The point of these steps is to ensure that if an urge strikes, you cannot disable the programs and look for pornography. Also, this will ensure that you cannot ask for a new password by pretending that you lost it. The whole point of this is to remove control from your hands so that if you feel tempted, you will not be able to access pornography.

    Once this has been done, install the programs and set them up by blocking categories of websites. Naturally, pornography is one of them and it is always blocked by default. However, pornography is quite prevalent over the web and it is also found on social media and image/video sharing sites that we use daily. So go into the block options in the K9 Web Protection program and add twitter, facebook, tumblr, vine, amazon, ebay, and youtube to the always block list (under the website exceptions tab). This is important because once porn is blocked, you will be urged to find alternatives to feed the addiction which unfortunately, the internet provides freely. Also you need to block the open image category of websites as well as search engines.

    Once you are done blocking categories, go into the website exceptions tab and type k9safesearch.com into the always allow field. This will be your new search engine; it filters out everything adult orientated and gives you clean results for any input. Also, enforce safe search by checking the safe search option under the safe search tab. The last step is to go to the URL keywords tab and add the "block in k9" bookmark to your favorites by clicking and dragging it to your favorites bar. This is an extremely powerful tool because it allows you to block a website without having to enter a password. Let's say you stumble upon a website with porn on it that wasn't blocked by your settings. Simply stay on the site, go to your favorites tab, and click on the "block in K9" bookmark. You will be asked if you are sure and after answering that, the website will be added to your block list.

    Repeat these steps with Qustodio as well. It doesn't have the same features as K9 but it is still an excellent software that backs up k9.

    Here are the links to the programs:
    Explanations are also provided on how to setup each software.

    K9 Web Protection
    http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

    Qustodio
    https://www.qustodio.com/en/

    As you are doing this, take up a sport that is physically demanding. This will lower your desire and also keep you fit. In sha Allah this won't be a problem since you are a young guy. Also, get a part-time job and increase your ibada as this will purify your mind from the memories that provoke you towards pornography.

    I make dua that these steps help you and your sister in dealing with this addiction. May Allah (SWT) aid you and your family through the ordeal with the jinn and these addictions. Ameen.

    • Thank You Iqbal. I have ESET Smart Security and it blocks the major sites instead of Facebook, Google etc. i'm downloading K9 right now and thanks for the advice. Alhamdulillah my pornography problem has gone. i can now curb myself from pornography but its hard to curb myself from masturbation as well the horrible memories of them sometimes haunts me. I constantly recite prayer for forgiveness and i hope Allah forgives as sometimes, I have an upset stomach. I heard that any kind of disease is a sign of forgiveness. if this answer is also given, then I will be pleased and thanks again for the answer. this will help alot

  2. Young courageous Taha,

    I just read this post and the answers and I am really happy that you have taken steps to curb this. May Allah help you to remove yourself from this completely.

    I just wanted to say to some word of encouragement. Take heart! don't despair and don't think yourself as a sinner/bad person. EVER! The fact that you recognise this as a problem and want a way out and are seeking help says a lot about you. It says you have a conscience. It says you do not sin without remorse. It says you are courageous enough to face your mistakes. And it says you are wise to seek help from others.

    This problem is so common today for people of all ages. Easy access of pornography is a mojor cause and trigger for such desires. Desire is with man since god created him. What god asks us is find legal mean to fulfil the desire. You are so young. Inshallah when you come of age you will have a wife and a family of your own.

    The things you have experienced in past will stay with you for some time. Maybe a long time. Again being young you are not in command of your life. As you grow to become a man, study, find a job/start earning you will be in more control of your situation. Make your own decisions. There is light at the end of the tunnel, as long as you try to find a way and seek help when things are out of hand.

    Lastly, a very important thing. Tauba: to return (to Allah). I listened a scholar (Javed Ahmed Ghamdi) saying this about Tauba. According to him, "In the Quran Allah mentions those people who sin in an emotional state and forget Allah, but as soon as they realise their mistake they repent and ask forgiveness. Allah has PROMISED/GUARENTEED them forgiveness, because they returned to Him soon. Here Allah does not say if the person did sin only one time or multiple times. The condition of acceptence of Tauba is only that they did not stay in sinful state for long, and asked forgiveness.

    So brother take heart, and keep asking forgiveness from allah day in and day out, may Allah guide us all toward Jannah.

  3. I'm sorry brother but I deleted your other pending posts. You were submitting new posts every few days and even two in one day. Actually we have a limit of three per year, because we have many people who need their questions answered, and our resources are limited.

    If you want to give us updates on your situation or more background about your problem, you can do it as a comment on one of your already published posts, such as this one.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Oh I apolagise. I didnt knew about that but i did 3 last year. there were none (i think) correct me if im wrong. so i think the only way is to ask via comments of my own posts. Thanks for the info.

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