Islamic marriage advice and family advice

In love with a girl of greater age

Man praying

Assalam o alaikum brothers and sisters. I am going through extremely tough time. I am a teenager, I am in love with a cousin of mine who happens to be 9 years elder than me. As a boy, this is considered taboo in our society to marry a girl of greater age. I have shared my feelings with her, but she said that it would've been okay if we didn't have such a great age difference. She is my cousin, I just cannot remove her from my life. I am extremely depressed, I want to get over her, I want the feelings that I have for her to vanish as we hold no future. I am in extreme pain, please suggest me a good wazifa so I can get over her.

Wali Ahmed

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4 Responses »

  1. dear you can pray to ALLAH and seek help yo HIM to forget her ALLAH will help you in this matter IN SHALLAH and try to close to ALLAH if you close to ALLAH can not any person,s feelings in your heart except make a goal and keep focus on it and try not go such a place you sure she will be there.

  2. You can.this is permitted in islam aslm alaikum also to remind u pple bro and sis culture and islam are 2 differen things.Allah aalam

  3. Assalaamualaykum, Wali Ahmed,

    I'm sorry that your love interest in not requiting your interests. Have you informed her that society's expectations are more culture-based than religiously based? I'm not sure if that would change her mind but you could try.

    It sounds very painful, as you say you cannot avoid her due to her being family. Still, you could try to avoid her as much as possible, and try not to put yourself in a situation where you two are in the same space.

    The thing that will help the most is time. Over time, when enough "life" has intervened, you will not be thinking of her anymore or having these feelings.

    If you find it really interfering with your daily activities and this interference is prolonged, you should probably see a psychiatrist who can prescribe you a small dose of antidepressant medication to help with obsessive thinking. Inshallah that will be enough to shift your focus to other things.



  4. Salam my dear brother. We must remember that our cultures basically modify x y and z to suit their needs.

    In Islam it is not haram to marry your cousin, as well as if she's older or not. If age is her excuse it shows a lack of maturity on her side despite the age, also maybe a lack of understanding between culture and religion which you could attempt to explain to her. And if she refuses to listen or maintains her narrow minded ways she is not worth anymore of your time.

    Insha Allah there's something better planned for you, maybe a prettier, wealthier or more religious wife. Just remember when the time is right everything will happen.

    I will remember you in dua's.

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