Can we marry without the permission of his parents?
Assalamu alaikum, I am from India. I have a question, please I need a satisfactory answer.
I had friendship with a non muslim girl over phone, she does not stays in India, but as time passed we came closer and closer, MASHA ALLAH i told her many thing bout Islam, I always tried to inspire her that Islam is the best religion in world, MASHA ALLAH as time passed she started thinking differently and by the grace of ALMIGHTY ALLAH she got some muslim friends there from Pakistan, they too told her about Islam, in between these days she proposed me, and I accepted her proposal, we have never met but we have commited phone sex, but with time she understood Islam very well and then we decided to stop talking on phone and we both decided to do tawbah, MASHA ALLAH now we avoid talking on phone and she lives in islamic way totally , she goes university with hijab on his head and she offers namaz in university she has understood Islam very well.
Now we want to marry she is 21 and I am 22 and half, my parents knows about her she is very happy with her because she has been very neik muslimah MASHA ALLAH but her parents does not know any thing. So my question is can we marry without the permission of his parents? and can we talk over phone and through email or through chat?
Please answer me
JZAKALLAH KHAIR, thanks for your most precious time.
wr
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wr, wa alaykum as-salam,
Do not try to marry the girl without her parents' knowledge and permission. Do her parents even know that she is Muslim? Where is the goodness in lying to her parents? That is not the way of Islam.
Let her inform her parents that she has accepted Islam. In time, when they have accepted that, you can approach them with a proper proposal.
You should not be talking to her over the phone. The fact that you already committed phone sex shows very clearly why private phone conversations are disapproved of.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Walaykum as salam, wr,
Secrecy, hiding brings guilty feelings, darkness,... You are a muslim man and you have been guiding her into Islam, then guide her in a proper way and I encourage you to follow the Straight Path, Wael has shown you the way, Alhamdulillah, now it is up to you to follow it, insha´Allah.
When preparing bread, the flour with the yeast need a time to rest to have a good bread done, give this situation the time it needs to settle, if you are the one sure of the other, just try to be patient, insha´Allah.
May Allah(swt) keep and guide our steps on the Light of the Straight Path. Ameen.
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam brother..
I have seen this situation with my own eyes. The couple wanted to marry and not tell the girl (who had converted) parents. His parents refused to go ahead, and requested that she tell her family if she wanted a 'proper' wedding. And you know what? Both familys are very different but get on very well Alhumdulilah - they are lovely people. It was all handled with respect and nicely - she gave them a little time. A lot of questions were asked.
Do you think it would have been the case had she married and converted without her familys' knowledge? Definetly not.. Think long term - this would create problems for you later.
She should tell her parents first - at least about the conversion - do it nicely. Remind them that she loves them and that she is still the same person. Then in a little time make the proposol - as brother Wael said.
Keep further contact between you and the girl within Islamic limits from now on InshaAllah and Allah will bless your marriage.
Peace,
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As-Salamu `alaykum.
After reading your post I am glad to know that, you convinced the non-Muslim girl to accept Islam, but this act is not right that you marry a girl without the permission of her parents, A girl should try to convince her parents, with the permission of her parents you have to marry with her, but one important Question is: Do her parents know that, “she became a Muslim” ,? if they did not know then situation maybe became critical.
salam brother.... u ve done a very great job by reverting d lady 2 islam.. i think it is absolutely proper 4 ur parents 2 know ur relationship with d lady so as 2 legallise it...but u know due 2 some dramatic situation, her perants may not be happy with her b/c of d fact dat she has reverted nd possibly try 2 frustrate her nd even regect ur offer[b/c u are a muslim].. to my own opinion in dis case,,u can protect her integrity nd faith by marrying her without necessarily d concent of her parent if at all there is someone 2 stand 4 her
Look you are young and its alright to feel scared but don't let fear guide you or get the best of you. Try to do the right thing. You have all the technology on your finger tips. You don't even have to fly to her hometown. Her parents can meet your parents on Skype and they can figure things out. If your parents understood, what makes you think her parents won't understand? I tell all teenagers to talk about their problem with their elders. We are not monsters. We don't want the worst for you. We want what you want. So share it with us.