Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Caste and language barriers to marriage

caste system prejudice

The caste system is not from Islam. It is prevalent in the Indian Subcontinent because of Hinduism.

I am 19 years old, I want to settle down and get married to the love of my life. He is also muslim and is also willing to marry me, he is a very good human being and loves me alot and really wants to marry me too.

I am just scared to bring this up to my parents, as I have a 26 year old brother who is not married, a 24 year old sister and 22 year old sister who both are unmarried. I dont want to wait for them to agree to marriage because i am deeply in love with the guy i want to marry. I know i am ready to settle down and so is he, he is 22 years old.

Please tell me what i should do, because i dont know what my parents will say. My dad doesnt want me to work and gain a good education to way i want to achieve in life, he has told me to sit at homr and dont do anything as he thinks i am useless. This upsets me really bad because both my mom and dad diffrentiate between me and my sisters. They have their education and are working too. I want to work as well.He doesnt want to understand and never has. Neither has my mum, she always refuses me when it comes to education. They just both want me to stay at home and not do anything.

I've decided i really want to get married, he comes from a very good respected islamic family and i want to marry him and no one else. I make dua every night every day to Allah (swt) to assure myself of hope it shall happen.Please tell me what is the best for me as I dont want to lose the love of my life no matter what.

Also another issue here is my family is very strict about caste too, hez a Jatt Chaudhary and I am a Awan. We speak punjabi but he speaks Mirpuri and I speak Hencho. Which are totally different languages too. My parents will have a fit if they find out he's not of our caste. Please someone tell me what is the best option or some advice.


Tagged as: , , , , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. Asalamoalaikum ,
    I am wondering why your parents want only you out of your sisters to stay home and donot get further studies or job.
    Secondly if you are just staying home then how are you able to be so sure that this man is good muslim and love you so much.
    Could it be that your parents have little bit awareness about your contact or activities with this man and in order to protect you and stop you they have made a different rules for you comparing with ur sibling so to physically limit your exposure .
    Anyway if this man is serious about marrying you then there is no otherway except that he brings in his family for official proposal for you and find out your parents perspective.
    Being from good respected islamic family it's possible your family will give weight to this proposal. However halt any further contact with this man as it is absolutely against islamic way .

  2. It seems like your parents are calling all the shots when it comes to your future. Don't go to school, don't work, don't marry a Chowdhry, don't marry someone who speaks mirpuri, don't leave the house, don't get married until your elder siblings get married. The list of conditions is endless.

    This is not a loving and Islamic home where the parents want the best for their daughters. It is a prison. Your parents are taking their Islamic rights as parents waaaaay too far.

    But given that you live on the subcontinent, there is nothing you can do. However, why won't this man's family come to your home with a proposal? You won't know the outcome unless you try. If he wants to marry you, he will do the honourable thing. If your parents refuse, then you have some hard decisions to make.

  3. Your parents cannot take your Islamic rights away from you. The decent thing you could do is ask the boys family to come to your house for your hand in marriage and take it from there. My advise to you is if you really like him then marry him because chaste and whatever else does not matter the persons heart and characteristics does. If he has all the qualities you are looking for explain this to your parents. Has far as the culture goes and language you can always work with each other to learn each others family values and family tradition put together is not a big thing. You need to make it clear to your parents and stand up for yourself if this is what you really want.

Leave a Response