Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to deal with father who abandoned me

Assalamu alaikum.

I am a male. My father married twice. I'm son wih first wife. I have sisters. My father lived about 10 years in another city with his second wife.(we live with good relationship with father's family).

Now he came back and making problem with my mother and sisters. I am the only one who protective to my mother and sisters. Since he avoided us I almost lost respect to him. But I'm afraid of Allah. Allah says we should respect parents. What does the Islam say about this coincidence? Please help me.


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3 Responses »

  1. bismillah
    idk islamic ruling on this but at the end of the day he's still your father.i would say respect him. (my opinion)

  2. It's kind of an epidemic for Muslim parents to believe their children's respect is something they are entitled to regardless of what sort of crap they subject their children to. They often even seem to believe they have to abuse, yell and beat the "respect" out of their children. The thing with respect is that you can force someone to pretend like they respect you, but you cannot force anybody to genuinely respect you. You have to earn that genuine respect, by treating people with kindness and empathy. .

    Yes, children should respect their parents, but parents also have responsibilities towards their children - they cannot mistreat their children and then demand of them to respect them. Your father cannot abandon his children only to suddenly turn up in your lives years later to cause trouble for you all. That kind of behaviour is not only impossible to respect, but it's not granted or deserving of respect. You have to stop giving your father power over your lives - the man has cared less about your existence for years, so he really has no right to demand a role or influence in your family. He can do that with the family he left your's for. I think there's no shame, or nothing wrong, with politely confronting your father and let him know where his place is: Not in your family.

  3. Yes you should always respect you parents.

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