Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Does a Christian woman have to convert to marry a Muslim man

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I am a practising Australian Christian woman. I was married in a Catholic Church and I have two children from that relationship. My husband passed away in 2012.

I have been in a relationship with a Muslim man for three years. He has asked me to marry him and his family want us to do a nikkah. I am aware our relationship is considered haram and we have committed zina but I love him very much and could not imagine my life without him now. We were supposed to do the nikkah this weekend but only two days ago his family member was going over what would take place and said I would have to convert straight before the nikkah as I would have to read the Koran and could not without first converting. It sounded like a formality but I would not feel comfortable doing that unless I really understood and believed in Islam. Although I believe God and Allah are the same God. My fiancé always told me I would not have to convert and the research I did led me to the same belief. When I told her this she said she wasn't entirely sure but that was what she was told. My fiancé is going to speak to the imam and I asked that if I do have to convert that it be postponed so that I can read more about Islam. Can anyone advise me on this please? From what I have read it seems the definition of chaste is what stands in the way and the interpretation differs. I have read that Muslim men can marry "chaste" women of the book." (Christians and Jews)  I just don't feel like marriage would be the right reason to convert.


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10 Responses »

  1. Let there be no compulsion in religion, the truth is clear from the falsehood....

    This is from The Quran and in the life of prophet Mohammed he never forced anyone to convert to Islam because as you said the conversion will be meaningless for themselves and for Islam if the person does not know what they are converting for...

    As For rulings like can a Muslim man marry a Christian woman I feel like this is a advice and questioning forum and your question relate to laws and edicts which majority of people would Not want to speak on behalf of God and those Questions should be directed to the right place. Saying that there is where the scholar has most probably answered your particular question as it would be very common thing. Sorry to hear the loss Of your husband.

  2. Bismillah
    May Allah forgive me if i say something wrong, please double check with other people.
    But as far as i know with my limited knowledge. If you believe jesus was a prophet, then you are christian. But if you believe he was god or son of god, islam doesn’t consider you christian as that would be considered shirk ( holding someone/ something equal to Allah). So technically speaking that marriage would not be allowed in islam.

    Please check with more knowledgeable people!!

    • Asalamu alaikum,
      Hi your understanding is wrong
      Even during Prophet Muhamed (peace be upon him) period there were christians .
      Those christians did say Jesus is GOD or Son of God
      There were no Christians who said Jesus is prophet During Prophet Muhamed period and the aayah came during such period.
      Hence to my understanding if they believed Jesus is GOD then still they are people of the book.

  3. You should never convert to any religion because somebody demands of you to do it. It saddens me that there are Muslims out there that think Islam is so cheap and meaningless that all it takes to become a Muslim is to utter the shahada without your heart and mind truly in it. That's disgusting, in all honesty.

    And what a nerve, too! What a NERVE to demand of someone that they change their religion! I'm glad to hear you questioned this demand instead of following suit...these people misguided you, and you caught up to it. Well done.

    If you don't want to convert to Islam, be honest about it to your boyfriend and his family. Don't even tell them that you are willing to look into Islam (if you are), because they will just take it upon themselves to "educate" you - i.e feed your THEIR alternative interpretation of Islam.

    Good luck with it all.

    • Lindita

      You most of posts are accusing muslims for so and so and generalizing everybody with negative remarks .
      Rather than pointing fingers you could have explained her the religion and invited her to the religion .

      You need to look into yourself and find what is wrong with you as your posts are not constructive .

      • I'm not asking you for your advice or opinion about the advice I give to other people - so please keep your nonsense to yourselves. I don't care about what you have to say - if I did, I'd be the one to submit my questions to you.

        Anyway, what does it even mean "to invite someone to Islam"? When a person tells me they don't want to convert, I'm not going to sit there and try to "invite" them. That's called bothering people, lol.

        I'm not going to encourage this woman to marry into a family that lies to her about Islam, and tries to force it upon her. It goes against my principles as a Muslim and as a human being.

        Also, whether my advice are constructive or not is not really up to you to decide. Because I'm not advising YOU. I'm advising other people - if my advice aren't costructive to THEM, then THEY can be the ones to tell me my advice aren't helping them. Not you.

    • Your replies are more like the modern aged culture followers or some one who doesnt like , doesnt know, doesnt want to follow Islamic laws

      • Okay. What's your point with that statement? This post is not about me, nor have I asked you to tell me what kind of Muslim you think I am. Because I don't care about you or your views or your opinions. I have a modern and Western approach to Islam, because...guess what? I live in year 2017, and not in year 1417 - and I live in the West.

        Honestly, it's rather stupid of you to expect of anyone in this day and age - and regardless of where they are from, or what religion they practice - to live by ancient standards. If modernity and the modern world is so intolerable and unacceptable to you, you are free to crawl back into the cave you came out of.

        Also, I'm ethnically European and my culture is European - therefore, I will never be similar to, say, Asian, Middle Eastern and African Muslims. And that's just fine, Islam is not about homogenizing people. So yes, while I may have a more modern take on Islam, at least I don't have a Hindu or caveman man take on Islam like so many of you (yes, actually YOU) do ;). Now, don't tell me again how I'm supposed to be, as a Muslim. Worry about yourself.


  4. Salam,

    I think both you and Star offer good advice. Different perspectives but still good.

    What's bothering Lindita is that Islam is just a formality to this guy. He has already done zina, so everything he could do under marriage is already done. Now that it's time to formalize the marriage they are questioning her purity even though he is on the same level. Unless both of them repent I think this verse would apply to them and they can marry:
    Shakir: The fornicator shall not marry any but a fornicatress or idolatress, and (as for) the fornicatress, none shall marry her but a fornicator or an idolater; and it is forbidden to the believers.

    Now if they are going to require her to convert then once she believes she would be forgiven and pure. I think she wouldn't be allowed to marry him unless he is considered pure. And he can't convert into Islam to become pure as he is already muslim and understood what he was doing. He would just have to repent a lot.

    Lastly, given the groom's logic they aren't a great source of Islam. Actually the original poster shows more values than they do as she tries to honor and be true to her conversion whereas they just see it as a few words she has to say before marriage.

  5. Salaams
    There are conditions for a muslim man for it to be permissible to marry a kitaabi women ie jewish or christian woman
    1 she must believe in God
    2 she must believe in a messenger/ prophet
    3 she must believe in a revealed book ie Gospels psalms, hebrew tanakh
    4 she must be chaste thats a must

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