Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Haram relationship!!!

Salam my brothers and sisters .

I’m writing to hopefully get some sort of advice on here and I already know that I’m committing wrong but im so lost what step to take next in my life

I have been with my fiancé for 4 years now engaged for 3 , he still keeps telling me everyday that’s his not ready for marriage always has a new excuse and if I even bring it up he gets so mad at me, he has told me on several associations when I have walked away he will do it in the next week and than nothing happens he continues to also blame me and says I’m always messing up and making mistakes , I try wallah everyday to talk to him about it but I just get told to shut up it’s not the right time and to basically leave if I don’t like it , I have met his family which they want us to get married the same with mine but again he just tells all of us To not speak of it , he also taken his dean on a lot more serious to but the marriage thing has still not changed I have told him im happy to pay , I told him I don’t want a wedding or anything just halal at a mosque , I told him I don’t even care if he dosent have money to take care of me I just don’t want to live in a haram relationship anymore and commit a sin I’m so scared of allah but at the same time I love this man and I want to marry him does anyone have any advice ?

 

 

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4 Responses »

  1. walikumasalam sister,

    Reading your message, it’s clear that you have the correct idea in which you do not want to continue in this situation where you are not halal and wish to be married.

    My only concern here is that i fear this man isn’t worth it, if he is placing you in a situation where he isn’t committed enough to have a nikah and give you the benefits of marriage I think you’re wasting your time.

    I understand that families have met, you have been together for sometime but imagine if he is finding so difficult to say a few words and sign a piece of paper what kind of marriage can you expect with him. Furthermore life gets harder after having children where it’s not about the two of you anymore. These things are often forgotten when we are blinded by someone we believe is right for us.

    Sister you have rights in Islam and please do not forgoe those rights just because of the time you’ve known this man.

    As harsh as I may sound, I have friends who have been married to men that have put them in the most disturbing situations and without going into detail your at a hurdle even before it’s started.

    But seriously weigh up your options, this guy is asking you to leave when you put marriage in front of him and by the sounds of what you explained even the elders are having trouble getting through to him.

    I would personally just cut my losses and move on because you’ve been patient enough.

    I wish you the best in health and happiness and pray you find someone who’s compatible with you and knows your worth ameen.

    • I totally agree with sister Aaliyah. Even the elders are finding it hard to put him under control. Perhaps if he sees that you've moved on and thinking of meeting another reality will hit his head

      • When reality does hit him. I would be very cautious to get back with him. After 7 years of relationship he doesn’t value nor show respects towards you. He probably got engaged to you just to keep you, so you don’t go, no intention of getting married. Don’t ruin your life with someone who doesn’t really want you. When a guy really wants you he will do anything to get married and start a blissful halal marriage. This is his loss.

  2. Asssalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatu.

    I think I have the perfect video for you from a great Sheikh that might help you take the right step in the light of Islam. Jazakallah Khair.

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