Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am in love and I really don’t know whether I am on right path or not?

Woman alone

Asslamualikum every one, i hope counselor could understand me, i am in a very tough situation, i love a guy my feelings for him is very genuine and we were in relationship for almost 3 years in which some how we committed some sins (some really bad sins) and i am feeling very sad to say that the guy i love is very good but he was not really close to islam thats why at first he never felt that he was doing wrong when we used to commit sin and i was also same but some how i started feeling bad after doing wrong because i heard that if we leave Allah for any one then Allah takes that person away from you. my whole last year i was very disturbed , i advised him many times and after alot of argue just for me he started to do good work, like we stopped (wrong things) , we also stopped bad talks , i asked him that i will not give you pictures of mine he also understood. then now i stopped talking to him. i feel very cruel and bad person. i dont know why im doing this , i dont know im doing this because of Allah , for me ? i really dont know but yes i just wanted to remove guilt of ignoring Allah sayings thats why i asked him to not to talk. i feel i have hurt him alot. i dont know what should i do, im scared how time will pass? i want to marry him but now we are not financially ready, thats why how should i wait without talking ? please pray for me, i am not a good muslim and i dont know will god accept my duas for him.


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3 Responses »

  1. Two options:

    1) Take your parents into confidence and marry the guy straightaway. Stay in your parents' home until he is in a position to take care of you. Just do the nikah so that you guys dont earn any sin.

    2) Stop talking to him no matter what happens and tell him to contact your parents when he is financially settled. Meanwhile, resist the desire to meet or to talk to him come what may!

  2. duaa ,

    If you have invested significant time with him and had sex then you need to first repent and then can choose any of below options

    1)Get married as above it is suggested .

    2)Stop all contacts but it will be challenging .You might be tempted to meet and have physical contact .

    Try various methods to resist temptation like Fating , getting involved in other activities ,Divert mind by new innovative ways which you can think about .

    But most probably you might end up meeting him again as once you start physical relation ship you will tempted again and again to have sex with him ..Get the help of some professional/adviser to face this challenge (Don't tell about your sins to any one)

  3. The messenger of Allah صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم said “You will never leave something for the sake of Allah, but Allah will give you something better in return.” [musnad]

    Leave it for the sake of Allah and Allah will give you something better in return.

    Make a lot of dhikr.

    Hadith No: 3793
    Narrated/Authority of Abdullah bin Busr
    Listed in: The Chapters on Etiquette
    that a Bedouin said to the Messenger of Allah (saw) said: "The laws of Islam are burdensome for me. Tell me of something that I will be able to adhere to. He said: 'Always keep your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah, the Mighty and Sublime.'"

    This will in sha Allah help you to stay away from this sin and make it easy for you.

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