How do I tell my mother about my conversion?
Islam
Asalamu Alaikum,
I am a 25 year old from a Hindu family, but Alhamdulilah God has guided me to the right path and I am on my way to convert properly to Islam. I have just learnt to do salah correctly and want to offer it 5 times everyday but only problem is my parents don't know it yet that I have accepted Islam and I plan to tell my mother as soon as possible but don't know where to start with.
As Hinduism and Islam are two poles apart and my mother is a devoted lady I don't know how to even start telling her without hurting her. Through some previous interactions I know she doesn't have a good view of Muslims in particular and has also given me a lecture on the ways and lives of Muslims (though I know its her ignorance and misunderstanding) so its really hard to even crack a debate over religion. But God has guided me throughout my life even when I was not a Muslim which is why through Islam I feel even closer to Him and now that I have decided to revert inshaAllah I will be guided even better. That is why I came across this site in search for answers and have read many matured comments and suggestions which have helped me too.
But my problem is a bit different as I was guided to the right path because of someone I fell in love with, he is a very understanding person and has supported me well and also guided me rightfully to revert. I know its forbidden to date in Islam but I think Allah has chosen him to guide me and we wish to get married. Also I wish to convert completely with the knowledge of my parents or at least my mother, but one more hurdle is I am not working and my mother wants to see me independent and I too am working towards that goal inshaAllah I will be successful but in the meantime how do I start praying etc as I am always at home and my mother is also a housewife and I don't have a separate room to myself and how do I tell her about my intention to marry my guy though I don't plan to tell it anytime soon but it is definitely going to come up when I tell her about my conversion. So how do I go about it.
Please help.
Jazakallah Khair in advance 🙂
Diya.
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Welcome sister,
indeed you are loved if allah has chosen you to become a part of the Islamic ummah,
you do not need to rush things and tell your mother if you know her reaction is going
to be very big, you are allowed to be a secret muslim until you are completely ready.
When you feel ready tell her calmly and tell her about your muslim fiancé.
sorry I cannot tell you how to pray in full steps because it is harder.
Google Islamic ways to pray.
I hope you are practising the correct sharia which is Sunni
and not shia.
inshallah all the best luck
Asalamualikum wa rehmathullahi wa berakathuhu
as sister mentioned above
my dear sister diya please never practice shiaa they don't believe in Rasool SAW .. and in islam loving Rasool SAW is must obligatory .if you want to become a pure muslim then you have to love and follow the path of Rasool kareem SAW
and as sister mentioned above don't rush into things just be patient and practice islam secretly now and always make duaa to Allah about your situation and life In Shaa Allah your parents will accept you and In Shaa Allah by the grace of Allah your whole family will become muslims In Shaa Allah
May Allah Subhanatallah guide evry ummathi Muhammad SAW on the straight path Ameen ya Allah
Assalamu'alaikum Diya,
I welcome you to Allah's Religion, the Religion of your Creator, The Religion that is the ONLY one acceptable with Him.
I just visited a graveyard which reminded me that whatever we do, no matter how much we obey or disobey Allah, we will end up under the earth, which will prove to be a blessing for the chosen obedient servants of Allah and a torment for the disobedient ones. You have taken a step towards the success in this life (the life of the grave or life after death and before the day of judgement, known as the life of Barzakh).
You already know thay dating is not in Islam, but also know that relationships before Islam, especially physical, are strictly forbidden, may Allah Protect you from it. This is so that you may remain warned.
Learning Islam is the best thing you can do at this point. You must have the motivation and the encouragement to learn and ask whenever you have a doubt.
If you have not declared the Shahaadah yet, then say:
Ash hadu an laa ilaha illaLlah, wa ash hadu anna Muhammadan Rasoolullah
(I testify that there is none worthy of worship but Allah and I testify that Muhammad is Messenger)
This is the first step towards Islam, the second being 5 obligatory prayers.
Ma sha Allah, you are 25. We had a young sister in her late teenage post some months ago. She was a Hindu previoisly and accepted Islam in secret like yourself. Please read these posts for more information and some learning:
1. http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/following-islam-in-secret/
2. http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/making-up-for-missed-fasts/
3. http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/caught-offering-prayers/
Sister Hydden (author of these posts) benefited a lot from this small booklet, instructing her how to perform prayers according to the teachings of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him:
http://ebookbrowse.com/en-my-prayer-booklet-inner-pages-pdf-d233735884
This is best for beginners. However, a more detailed one is available and you can read it when you learn how to pray, in sha Allah.
Regarding how and where you can offer the prayers, a small 4-5 feet corner must be enough for offering prayers, if you can find it. Perhaps uou can lock the room and offer the prayers, or even combine prayers until you reveal your reversion to your parents (this is done by combining the noon and afternoon prayers - dhuhr and asr - and the late evening and night prayers - maghrib and isha - which can be offered at the time of either of them). Try as hard as possible to offer all the five prayers regularly, which is a duty of every Muslim.
Ramadan is approaching, after prayers, the next thing obligtory upon every Muslim is to fast the entire month of Ramadan (except for a woman when she is menstruating, the left fasts due to which can be made up later).
Concernig your plans to marry this man, I do not know if he is upon the teachings of the Prophet or not, so I can not comment, but after you have learnt your religion and started practicing, you must be able to judge, in sha Allah.
A website you can refer to is: http://newtoislaam.wordpress.com/ (and even http://abdurrahman.org/) Learn your basics from here, which is an authentic source.
After reading this and the posts from sister Hydden, if you have any questions, you can ask here. And please sister, remember: Let your reversion be for Allah's Sake and not for the sake of love. Even if you do not marry this man, stay pleased with Allah and hope for the best from Him, His Mercy.
May Allah increase your taqwa and make you a righteous Muslimah, a perfect wife and a perfect mother.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank you all for your advices and specially Dr Abu Abdul Bari for your advice and yes I have read sister Hydden's posts, it did help me as I felt inspired that I am not alone. I have already converted a month back (which I was previously apprehensive about as I thought I wouldn't be able to do everything right but the pull of Islam was so strong that I am now completely dependent on Allah and faithful that He will ease my problems) and trying hard to pray on time though its getting more and more difficult.But alhamdulilah till now I haven't missed a prayer
Even ramzan is approaching and though I am worried how I am going to fast without my mother knowing it, I know Allah will definetly make a way, inshaAllah
Its becoming harder and harder right now as my mother is getting suspicious of what I do behind closed doors when I pray and sometimes she does just storm in but alhamdulilah I haven't been discouraged and infact its just strengthening my belief and imaan because Allah Himself has said it in the Quran Verse 29:2
"Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried?"
I just pray that Allah gives my mother strength to endure it and that I won't become discouraged ever even after many more difficulties that are about to come.
Why I related my difficulties is so that all those muslims who take their deen for granted who read this will know that there will always be a someone who would give everything to follow Allah's religion properly, to pray on time without having a worry in the world and to have a family that follows Islam too but ofcourse everyone goes through their own tests. I'll pray that each one of us is rightly guided and inshaAllah more people accept Islam.
Subhanallah! Sister, you are having the perfect attitude, ma sha Allah. Carry on with this and in sha Allah, you will find a way in every difficulty. You said: "I know Allah will definetly make a way, inshaAllah"
Allah Said:
And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out (65:2)
So sister, even if it is as slow an a snail, do not worry, keep improving on deen. And remember to verify sources when you seek knowledge or learn something new. Take only what is pure and is from Quran and the Sunnah, and May Allah Have Mercy on you.
And yes, I am no Dr. lol...
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Lol sorry and Jazakallah Khair. Keep up the good work!