Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband ran away

Im a pakistani girl and there was a chinese boy in 2014 he proposed to me 4 times. He was really good boy so i agreed to him. When we met the first time he kissed me and i thought i must marry the man who kissed me. He said he must have sex with me but i didnt agree i said sex is more daring than nikah so i asked him to nikah with me first.

We did nikah and had relation, after 1.5 years we had a wedding. This is my 9th month after wedding.

Since my first night he beat me up but gradually the beating went serious, he would tear off all my clothes in dead of winter and beat me with belt until he would get tired and he would break my head i used to be covered in blood but when he said sory once i used to smile and forgive. I bore it all because i loved him too much. He betrayed me i caught them and in return he beat me up in midst of market and took me to my moms home and threatened them, they always gave him respect despite the fact that he took their respect, recently on 17th april 2017 he broke my mouth i got 4 stiches inside my mouth, i was covered in blood and walls and floor and clothes and bedsheet everything was in blood and i think he got scared so he became nice with me, he took extreme care of me till 24th april. I was so happy i started eating again.

I used to be 57kg now im 48 kg. And im rather beautiful more than any of his past or present gfs.

But i dont know why he finished our couple relation since last 5 months, only after 17th he gave me couple relation two or three times, on 25th april 2017 he woke me up early in the morning and he said honey im going to lahore another city. I said okay take care and recite dua he hugged me for long and then he disappeared. When i wokeup he took away everything and left me alone. Since that day i cant eat or sleep im like a breathing corpse. What should i do to get peace? I used to cook for him he said i cook better than restaurant i used to massage him every night. If i touched him he would beat me he broke my hand and he used to watch bad videos in washroom and date girls but stayed away from me, i forgave it all. Always. Once when he broke my head i fainted so he dragged me to car from my hair to take me to hospital because he thought im pretending but after i got beter enough to walk by myself, my bp was 90/50 and the doctor gave me injection immedietly ans said im about to faint then he believed i wasn't lying.

i could write a book on the tortures he gave me mentally and physically, and send the book to guantanamo bay jail for torturing the prisoners, i bore it all just because i loved him too much and i was loyal to him i wanted to make memory with one man only, but he still ran away, what should i do to get peace to stop crying to stop this pain? He turned me psycho!


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4 Responses »

  1. SubHaan'ALLAAH

    Do Sajda and thank the Most Merciful, from the Bottom of your Heart that He chase off this cruel Wife Beater. You've been Saved girl! Be Happy!

  2. You loved him? Why on earth? He's an ugly human being and he has treated you worse than a dog. You must have serious issues with your self-esteem if you have endured all that without ever questioning "why would i allow all that?". Such an unworthy man and you gave him all that respect. You didn't deserve that sister, he has wronged you horribly. And you shouldn't have allowed him to go that far. Some people are worse than animals, la hawla wa la qawati illaa billah...

  3. Assalaamualaykum Fatima,

    I'm very sorry to hear of the pain and abuse you have suffered in the hands of your husband. The way he treated you was awful and no one deserves to be treated like that no matter what the circumstances. I agree with Goran that his leaving is for your best. You will heal with time, particularly because you haven't been with him for that long. Please do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself...start eating again even if you have to force yourself to, and go to bed early to try to sleep. Drink lots of water.

    Inshallah you will regain your strength with some self-love and care, and be able to move on with your life.



  4. You should gladly stay away from him and you should report him to the police. He’s a disgusting person who clearly doesn’t care for your safety and would probably never treat you how you deserve. He already made you abused and he can’t make you psycho. Talk to a therapist. There’s also books like that by Umm zakiyyah an American author all about abuse. What you’re experience is sadly, not uncommon. But you have to respect your body and self and stay away from him. No imam or family member should encourage you to go back to him either.

    Stay safe and seek help. Seek help in Allah and avoid such a horrible excuse for a man. This is not Islam and it is not humanity!

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