Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Worried about the punishment of zina in Islam

Asalam alaikum brothers and sisters...

I am here to ask about the thing which has been bugging my head ever since i have commited this sin... i was in love with a guy... and as i belong to a family where all my family members are all day out busy in their jobs i always felt something missing... that missing thing was LOVE for me... and i found in dis guy 'M'...

He gave me the feeling in the begining that he has completed my life... i never imagined to sleep with him or have sex with love was true for him and i wanted to marry him. But one day he asked me to have sex and i couldn't resist. He assured me that i wont get pregnant as we took all precautions but i think Allah wanted to show me what wrong i have done...


I got pregnant and i had 2 weeks pregnancy when i came to know about it. I told 'M' about it and he asked me to miscarry it. That time i felt so guilty that i am killing my own baby but i had to... so i went for it.

After miscarriage i have no mental peace i feel like Allah will never forgive me. that guy with the time changed too, fought with me and left me... I feel so guilty about my act and i am so disturbed that either Allah will forgive me or not... i want some mental peace. Its been a month after abortion i had not slept well... my condition is in deterioaration please help me!! :'(


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10 Responses »

  1. did a sin in the first place which you knew was not allowed in the eyes of Allah and then killed the innocent in your stomach. Well you were burning with LUST not love and now you will have to deal with Allah. Why do people do things which they know are sooo bad and ask other people if Allah will punish them?. We do not know what allah will forgive. I have made grave mistakes and sins but i am not asking strangers about what will happen. You do the you do your time.

    • This isn't helpful there was no need for you to reply

      • Well, the truth hurts. Anyway if they were in love then they should have waited till marridge. Well, shaitaan was involved and it was lust...don't get it twisted between love and lust.

    • If you are not asking strangers for help, you are giving a stranger some pretty pessimistic you think you are better because you aren't asking for help? If you can't offer some real advice, why bother?

      What on earth do you mean by 'do your time"?

      Surely, just because you have committed grave mistakes, you can offer some positive advice about what you learn and some suggestions to the OP...rather than give a misery loves company' type of response.

  2. Salam Alaikum Sis in Islam!

    What you did was terribly wrong. And you should repent to Allah for that and believe that Allah will forgive you what you did. First of cut off completely from this guy and start learning more about Islam. I think the majority of our problems arise because we don't have that surety in the words of Allah. Start learning the miracles of Quran and why Islam makes most sense. I find Nouman Ali Khan videos to be very beneficial in this regard. This really boost up Imaan when you know for sure that you are on the straight path.
    Believe me if you are really sincere in your Tauba and really intend to not repeat this grave sin again, you will always find Allah to be forgiving. And don't tell about this sin to anyone. Like it is said in Quran:
    "Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."

    Salam Alaikum

  3. Out law brother,

    Every body do mistakes ans sins. Some may be big some may be small, for all sins there is punishment if they repent allah will forgive them.

    Sister you did sin, if ýou repent allah may forgive you, it is better to be safe than sorry, so allah has made a rule that is shariya where love before wedding, is strongly not accepted and haraam, it is to protect women.

    What is gone is gone will not come back, pray to him and ask his forgiveness, collect all past dig the ground and bury it. May allah will forgive all the sisters,

    Ya allah protect all women from this and also forgive this sister, ameen.

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    Abortion isn't the same as miscarriage, so it isn't appropriate for you to refer to your abortion as such.

    What's done is done, so now you need to look at your life and consider how to move forward and return to the straight path. As a starting point, you might find it helpful to read our articles about tawbah, and to search our archives and read posts by sisters who have been in similar situations. InshaAllah you may find some help there as well as here.

    What you felt for that guy wasn't love. Love is a blessing from Allah, and grows within a halal relationship. It's based on trust, respect and empathy. A man who loves you will not disrespect you by having a haram relationship with you, he will not tell you to get rid of your baby, and he will not abandon you when times are hard. This guy did all of those. So, you're better off without him.

    I think you need to ask yourself some hard questions...

    - Why did you get involved with this guy in the first place? What factors in yourself and your situation contributed to getting into a haram relationship?

    - Did you feel you had no choice but to have sex with him, or did you make a decision based on your own free will? If you were forced, is this something you would want to take to the authorities, as forcing someone to have sex when they don't want to is a crime in most countries? If you felt you needed to consent so that you didn't lose him, why was this the case and what could you change so that you don't end up in this situation again? If you had sex with him of your own free will, why did you choose to do this, when you knew it wasn't the right thing to do?

    - When he told you to end the pregnancy, why did you feel you had no choice? What other options could there have been? If you didn't want the abortion, consider that most clinics insist that the woman has an appointment with a medical professional, by herself - even if this guy had taken you to the clinic and was sitting in the waiting area, what factors meant you felt unable to tell someone? If you consented to the abortion because you chose to end the pregnancy, you need to think about why you chose this and look at what personal factors contributed to you making a decision that you now know was wrong.

    Once you've identified the things in your life that need to change, start working on changing them. Acknowledging your faults and changing yourself can be slow and painful, but inshaAllah by doing this you can prevent yourself from transgressing in this way again.

    Make sure that you are observing Islamic limits in your daily life, and that you are ensuring you have plenty of Islamic influences in your life - join a sisters-only study group, keep up with your prayers, get involved in a community or charity project, etc.

    Another factor to bear in mind is that your body is still adjusting to the hormonal and physical changes associated with the ending of a pregnancy.

    Just as a woman who has given birth may experience "the baby blues", a woman who has had a miscarriage can experience similar emotional and psychological changes and instability (the same hormones are involved). These difficulties can also happen for some women who have had abortions, as hormones need to rebalance themselves, regardless of whether the pregnancy ended by itself or by abortion.

    Abortions can also be traumatic experiences, and a small number of women can actually experience some post-traumatic stress symptoms afterwards (especially if they didn't want the abortion or now regret it). You describe feeling very distressed and unable to sleep... if this doesn't start to improve soon, you might want to speak with your doctor about getting referred for specialist counselling or even some medication.

    The Quran and ahadith teach us that Allah is Most Merciful and that He loves to forgive those of us who offer repentance with a sincere heart. Turn to Him, place your trust in His Love and Forgiveness, and work hard to live a life that follows His guidance from this point on.

    Midnightmoon editor

  5. Salam

    These days everyone uses the word love to justify anything.

    May Allah forgive you inshallah but only if you really ask for forgiveness from the heart and never do it again. Allah is merciful kind forgiving but also wrathful if you disobey again.

    Don't get pulled into this worlds desires think about your real life in the next life as that is where you will abide forever.


  6. I agree with brother outlaw on only one thing
    That Allah's knows best whether he will forgive or not
    As per the sister act we know its wrong and what is done is done

  7. Assalamu Alaikum siter,
    first of all, you are not the first person committing such deed, and we all are sinners. There is no the person who has not any sin but there are people who do sins and do not repent Allah, Allah says in quran that he forgives any kind of sin if his slaves return him, so return Allah and ask for his forgiveness, do repentance a lot, InshaAllah he will forgive you

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