Islamic marriage advice and family advice

In love with my cousin… But is divorce right for us?

i have been in relationship with my cousin since last four years, we had nikkah and intimate ralationship from last one year but my family is not agreed for our marrige, actually no one knows that we have got married. I want to know wether divorce will be right for us if my family will not accept us??? His family is totally agreed and came to our house for engagement three times but my family accepted and then again refused. I get too much tensed when i thought of leaving him because we are happy with eachother and don't want to end this relationship. If I took divorse my family will marry me to another person , I think about myself that I will never be happy with a second person, I think about my verginity and ssssooo many other issues. Please help me divorce will be the right option or what should we have to do? We tried hard to convince our families, he succeeded but I failed, my family accepted once and rejected again. And no body knows about our nikkah in our family.. Plz help me

Ishrat fatima

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6 Responses »

  1. Dear .as you said u hv got married .and u both feel happy in this relation. Better for you to liv wid ur husbnd .inform your family u hv got married . Liv with ur husbnd and try to convens your family . Thinking of divorce is a foolishness. What is your husbnd problem here tht ur giving hell punishment to both of you.
    Trust allah .and go ahead . Your parents will undrstand.

  2. What does that actually means you married secretly and had intimate relationship ?

    Foremost Question i would like to ask you are you the one following a SHIA FIQH ?

    The reason i asked that because now you are asking whether you should divorce. So what you had was you meant a TEMPORARY MARRIAGE that is once the pleasures over so now came the family in picture ? Astaghafirullah

    You should have told your parents before the nikah if you dint still you have time be open to them and tell them that you are already married to your cousin. Just because they are not accepting now doesnt means you should head for divorce such a foolish reason you have for a divorce. Nikah is not some game to be played its a huge responsibility. If you knew your parents arent going to agree then why did you marry at first place secretly. And by the way, how was the Nikaah valid ? I mean what about the Wali part if your parents are unaware about all this ? :O

    You still have time, you MUST tell your parents about all this. Divorce definately is not the only solution. And even if you divorce and marry someone else again and what if that person comes to know about your previous marriage then what? You will ask for a Khula from him too ? Think wise girl.

    I wish you all the very best.

    Wa Salam !

    • When you said

      ,"And even if you divorce and marry someone else again and what if that person comes to know about your previous marriage then what"?

      Are you referring to that a person cannot remarry in general

      Or is it just in this case?
      Just asking

      • No Reshme sis. It was meant because this sister has married her cousin in SECRET which no one knows about. So what if her next husband comes to know that. It wont be Easy for her and niether her entire family because even they wouldnt be knowing about her secret marriage Right ? No Human being can be as understanding after he comes to know about the past scenario in this way, one can be understanding if it was revealed to him before.

        I obviously meant that and not the way you thought so.

        Anyone can remarry and for a remarriage divorce is not just the only reason. Isnt it ?

        • Some people divorce cause there are no other options

          My own ex ran off after he got his greencard

          He would not reveal his whereabouts

          After over a year of searching
          The picture becomes clear.

          So finally once he was found.
          Divorce process started.

          Why be with someone who doesn't want you?
          Arranged marriage btw

          Several years later I remarried
          It was also arranged.

          And it turned out well..
          It all goes case by case.

  3. Please give more information regarding your husband

    Why does your family object to husband?

    Whatever the reason of your marriage is,
    The fact remains is that you are married now.

    Marriage is a very serious business
    You not being able to decide whether or not to stay with your husband
    That your feelings for your husband may not be that strong.

    But should you divorce?
    If your husband is providing for you and keeping you safe
    Than its fine
    If your family does not agree, it's not your headache.
    Live your life with your husband
    Good luck

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