Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marriage and problems with parents

marriage proposal husband wife

Well I am a 18 years old girl, I have known a guy for coming up two years now and I was not practising before I was a so called "muslim by name" when I first knew him, and then he started encourage me so time went by and I started to pray and wear hijab properly and dress modestly and btw he lives in my home country so there is a distant between us ...

So nothing bad happened between us or sinful, then finally he told me that he is interested in me and that he wants to talk to my parents. I was so scared to do this because my parents are not understanding and I have communication problems, but I realised that I really want to be with him so I spoke to my mum and she said that she didn't want to talk to me that day. Several days went by and my mum still hadn't spoke to me and she didn't tell my dad about it.

Then one day I went to my aunts and then they was asking me questions about him and I told them everything. My aunt asked me if he prays and knows Allah. I said yes he is the one who encouraged me and they told me that I should meet him next time I go and spend time with him, but I thought that was haram!

So I was shocked and my mum said that I should wait and finish my studies and just meet him and see how it goes, but they are making me choose between doing the right thing and marrying this guy and my studies and tbh it doesn't even feel like a choice. My mum was insulting me behind my back about the fact I wanted to get married, and I asked if they could help me find a solution of getting married and being able to study also and they wouldn't.

My mum refuses to talk to him and his family and she won't tell my dad either. I have no idea what to do. He is ready to be with me and I am also but my parents are just not wanting me to follow the islamic (sorry I said parents I meant my mum) but it really stress me out and I cry every night.

I have no idea what to do at all, I know marrying him is the right thing to do and I should only fear Allah but I have no idea. I really need some advice on what to do in this situation. Please.


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4 Responses »

  1. Salam sister

    I advise you to talk to Allah in your prayers and whatever happens in the end is what Allah knows is what's best for you ! Did the guy tell his parents about u ? You should talk to his parents on the phone to make sure he told his parents ! Don't trust everyone ! And talk to your dad instead of your mom because Islamic way you can get married with no issue n your mom needs to understand that you getting married young will get the blessings of Allah inshallah. Don't get too emotional about it just put your trust in Allah which is the best way to deal with hardships plus Allah knows best

  2. Salam sister,

    Firstly yes do an istekhara it may not show up in dreams or indications but will definitely pave the way for what's best for you.
    You say that the guy is in your home country but have you thought about living back home or do you want him to come to you and work here?
    Education can be completed after marriage with the consent and compromise of both husband and wife.
    Keep praying and believing. It'll all come at the best time.
    May Allah bless you always and give hidayat to all of us and protect is from the shaitan..Ameen sum ameen

  3. salam .Too young marriage is another big test..My advice finish and make a career out of yourself so you can be independant.These haram relations dont last too long and if they do there lifes are miserable.just look at the divorce rate.Reason why? dissobedience. not obeying Allahs commandments and teachings of prophet Muhammad so curse upon thise who follow there desire!!!So build your Iman.

  4. salam

    my sincere advise is seek marriage with a aim of creating great kids (make a intention of making kids hafiz or mufthi). So seek a partner with parent consent. life will be fruitful. This is the advice by Kalifa Omar Farook Rali Anhu
    any other aim of worldly nature will parish like bubble soon such as beauty, sex, money and so called good company.

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