Would it be wrong if I converted to marry her and be together properly; though I don’t think I would do it without her?
Not that I'm in the habit of taking advice from church billboards, but in this case they have a point. Secret relationships are always a mistake.
I am a 18 year old , white, atheist and have a Muslim girlfriend who originates from Pakistan. We have been together for a year now, I love her very much and have done for many years. She loves me too but she has to hide me and our relationship from her family and friends which we have managed to do. We both lost our virginity to one another and we have spoken a lot about our future together.
We both have admitted that we want a future together however we can't marry if I'm not a Muslim, correct? I have always admired her faith and culture and she has taught me many things about it. I can honestly say I would love to be religious as I have always hated questioning so many things throughout my life. I do not have a very extensive knowledge about religions but Islam does appeal to me. Would it be wrong if I converted so we could marry and be together properly? I do want to do it but I don't think I would do it without her and I believe she is the thing I need to push myself to become a better person.
We have discussed this, I have told her completely how I feel about it and her and she has said she wouldn't want me to change just for her, she has said it isn't right for someone to join Islam just for someone and that she would not let me. I have nobody else to talk to about it and I'm not sure about it all so I came here... What do I do?
Joseph458.
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Accept Islam first, than do as you like
Yes brother it will be wring if you convert just to marry her. You need to convert from your heart. You have to accept there is no god only Allah and our prophet is allahs messenger.
Don't know which country you live but I will suggest you to visit mosque and talk to imam about it to how to learn and accept Islam. After that I think you can think how to move your relation into married.
assalalamalikum-
Let me start with the this greatest words from Allah for you-
9:6 And if anyone of the idolaters seeketh thy protection (O Muhammad), then protect him so that he may hear the Word of Allah, and afterward convey him to his place of safety.
That is because they are a folk who know not.
http://creatorstruth.ning.com/video/allah-orders-to-protect
Suppose you find a watch in the middle of a desert. What would you conclude? Would you think that someone dropped the watch? Or would you suppose that the watch came by itself?
http://creatorstruth.ning.com/video/famous-atheist-antony-flew-1
Former Atheist Believes in God on Basis of Argument to Design
Of course no sane person would say that the watch just happened to emerge from the sand. All the intricate working parts could not simply develop from the metals the lay buried in the earth. The watch must have a manufacturer.
If a watch tells accurate time? Consider the sunrise and sunset. Their timings are so strictly regulated that scientists can publish in advance the sunrise and sunset times in your daily newspapers. But who regulates the timings of sunrise and sunset?
Allah tells us in the Qur’an:
"Behold! In the creation of the heavens and the earth; in the alternation of the Night and the Day; in the sailing of the ships through the Ocean for the profit of mankind; in the rain which Allah sends down from the skies, and the life which He gives therewith to an earth that is dead; in the beasts of all kinds that He scatters through the earth; in the change of the winds and the clouds which they trail like their slaves between the sky and the earth, (here) indeed are Signs for a people that are wise
For years, Antony Flew has been a figurehead for atheists. Now, though, he
has abandoned his atheism and accepted the existence of God. In a
recent interview for Philosophia Christi with Gary Habermas, Flew
explained his new beliefs. Though Flew has not embraced Christianity,
he now accepts the existence of God, saying that he "had to go where
the evidence leads".
This is not the first time that it has been reported that Flew has
changed his mind. Twice before, in 2001 and 2003 respectively, it was
rumoured that Flew had turned to Christianity; each time Flew quashed
the rumours himself. This time, though, the reports are accurate; we
have it from Flew himself.
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PL BUILD UP YOUR FAITH PROPERLY AS YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO MARRY HER WITHOUT FAITH IT IS PROHIBITED IN ISLAM AS ALLAH KNOWS VERY WELL THE INFATUATION IN MAN AFTER SOME TIME IT VANISHES LIKE THE SODA OUT OF WATER AND YOU WILL BE HARMING HER LIFE WHOM YOU CLAIM TO LOVE-
REGARDS
Brother Joseph,
I'd like to ask what stops you from believing in God? Please tell us, so that we can be particular about our answer.
As you said, the girl isn't allowed to marry you, as long as you are not a Muslim. So, you would need to accept Islam. But if you accept for the sake of marriage, it will be fake, while you would remain a non Muslim at heart. This is of no use, because the ultimate reason to become a Muslim is to be successful when Allah will reward us for our good and our bad. Though you may not believe, you'll understand soon, if Allah Wills.
Please tell us what I have asked above.
Thanks
I ask Allah to open your heart to Islam, to Guidance, and I ask Him to Guide you to Himself.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear Brother Joseph,
iam a muslim so ofcourse i will say that is the best choice.
sorry i think i accidently pressed a wrong botton.
may be meeting this girl is a God's way to invite you to islam.please take sometime to know what islam is and if you decide to embrace islam than do it for yourself. Inshallah( by Allah's will) you will never regret.
i know someone ( a white, atheist,and ina relationship with a muslim girlfirend. he got intoduced to islam like yourself through his girlfriend. although he didnt get married to her but he is now a very practicing muslim and very happy with his choice. the only reason he is sticking to islam is because he educated himself about it and did it for himself. now although his girlfriend is not with him , he is following a religion not for someone but for himself.
brother, in islam if a man and a woman love each other than there is nothing better than marriage for them, carrying on as girl friend and boyfriend is not the way of islam, this way they can have a family unit where they can raise kids as muslims and the whole family is raised following islamic teachings . thats why muslims are expected to marry muslims. brother Joseph, islam is a way of life thats why its important to accept it from the heart rather than for someone.
i pray for you you the same as brother waseem.
I ask Allah to open your heart to Islam, to Guidance, and I ask Him to Guide you to Himself.
@friend'
I like your advice to Joseph and its a shame the person you know didn't marry his girlfriend
he is alhamdulillah happily married to another muslim woman, he has increased in faith by leaps n bounds . you see in the long run it was all in the Allah,s plan for him to get introduced to islam through her ( but she did not valued him as he was still just trying to learn the ways of islam and she wasnt fully practicing it ) and now look how he has been blessed with so much imaan. i think it was that girls loss. dont know what happened to her but atleast allah saved her from committing further sins with this man. i hope she is happy too with the beauty of imaan in her heart.
Hi Joseph,
You can get a copy of the Koran in English. Nobody seems to be telling you that's it's not ok to have sex outside of marriage but it is the norm for us . I know we marry for different reasons but i say as long as you respect your wife what difference does it make so long as you are always faithful to each other.
Just Passing, do you mean it does not matter for a non Muslim to marry a Muslim girl? Are you not aware that Allah forbids it through the Quran? Please avoid speaking of Religion, when your have a doubt or you are unaware.
Thanks
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
just passing,
salaams.
please go through this website and see all sorts of problems couples are going through before and after marriage if they are not on the same path of religion.
marriage is a sacred institute and love is only one of the pillars. its important that the two are compatable in other aspects, of which, the most important is religion.
Hi Waseem,
No i did not mean that i am well aware that a non muslim man has to convert to marry a muslim woman. I advised Joeph he could get the koran in English as it would be a good place to start. He could probably get a hold of a copy from his local muslim com in his city if he has one.
THIS STAGE COMES ONLY WHEN SHE MARRIES BELIEVER NOT AN IDOLAtOR OR ATHEIST- AND NOW JUST PASSING IS THE MAKER OF SHARIAH BY SAYING THAT IT DOES NOT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE AS LONG AS THEY LOVE EACH OTHER- YOUR MIND IS OFF MY JUST PASSING THAT JOSEPH WILL ALSO LEAVE HER ONEC THE INAFTUATION SATAN BREAKS DOWN AFTER MARRIAGE SAME LIKE YOU HE WILL ALSO SAY JUST PASSING AND THAT ENSD THE GIRLS LIFE-YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WAHT YOU SAY YOU ARE DEFYING SGAIRAH LAW BY TELLING YOUR SENTENCE I COPIED AND PASTED I know we marry for different reasons but i say as long as you respect your wife what difference does it make so long as you are always faithful to each other.
SO THE STAGE IS STILL VERY FAR AWAY FOR THE MARRIAGE AS THERE IS NO PERMISSION IN SHARIAH LAW FOR NON MUSLIM AND NON BELIEVER IN GOD TO MARRY A BELIEVING WOMAN-
NO PASSING TIME OR PASSSING BY HAVE THE RIGHT TO POKE NOSE IN THE LWAS OF SHARIAH .....
Hi Ali,
He is a white young guy where courtship is something we do and sex before marriage happens,this site always states that sex before marriage is a sin but as he is a young lad i would not like to think that he would be made to feel guilty for something if he did not know he was doing wrong but be guided by someone like yourself that he should not participate. You also do not need to shout at me i am not deaf!
assalamalaikum
SORRY I WRITE IN BLOCK LETTERS FOR VISIBILITY WITH PERMISSION FROM MADAM FROM THE FORUM ITS NOT THAT I AM SHOUTING-
AND THE SUBJECT MATTER IS THAT THIS PERSON WILL TAKE YR VERSION AND SUPPOSE HE MARRIES AND THEN AS I TOLD THIS LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE IS INFATUATION WILL SUBSIDE AND THE VICTIM WILL BE THE GIRL.
IF YOU USE ANY WORD AGAINST SHARIAH LIKE THERE IS NOT PROBLEM AS LONG AS THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND ARE HAPPY I HAVE TO STOP YOU ON THE SPOT-
BECAUSE SHE CANNOT MARRY AN ATHEIST OR IDOLATOR SO THERE IS QUESTION &YOUR ANSWER THAT THERE IS NO PROBLEM -THE PROBLEM IS THERE BECAUSE HE IS NOT A BELIEVER AND NON BELIEVERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MARRY A BELIEVER-AND IF HE REVERTS TO SUBMISSION [ISLAM]AS PER THIS ONLY FOR THE SAKE OF THE GIRL THAT WILL SUBSIDE WITH TIME -HE MUST BE REVERTING WITH THIS TYPE OF BELIEF IN ALLAH-
The Primordial Covenant
"And [remember] when your Lord brought forth from the Children of Adam, from their loins, their seed, and made them testify of themselves, [He asked]: "Am I not your Lord?" They said "Yes, we testify!" Lest you should say on the Day of Resurrection: "Of this we were unaware.Quran, The Heights 7:172>
The definitive attribute of man is his ability to forget.The very word used in the Quran for "man," insan, is related etymologically to the word nisyan, or forgetfulness.
Thus the human as he is initiated into the world progressively loses his awareness of the immediate presence of Allah.It is the function of religion to make us remember.
1.This is related to the five stages of the lives of man, one of which, is the 'preconceptual life', which took place before we came into this world.
2.This world, known as dunya in Arabic, is derived from the word 'low' and is seen in Islamic cosmology as the lowest world. Indicating that there are worlds above this one, and that man descended from the highest, which is from the presence of Allah.
This stage of preconception is when, according to the Quran,
Allah took all the created souls, and brought them together where He said to them
"Am I not your Lord?" and the souls responded in affirmation,
"Yes, we testify!"
Please brother use bold- the capital letter are very disturbing on the eyes. And it does look like yelling on the internet world. Bold words is a better option.
Hi Ali,
I have just replied to you but forgot to add details before i went to send the post and now its gone hahahaha.
First off I apologise if BOLD print is for visual problems
Basically i wanted to say i do not disagree with some of your points and i wanted to bring to your attention children born into a christain country are not born with a religion and it is up the parents if they baptise or christen thier children, aprox 30 or 40 years ago this practice kinda stopped and very few children get a religion. As Joseph is only young and he says he is athiest this could very well be the reason. I would also like to point out that for those reasons we rarely marry from a religous angle but i can assure you that marriages do work. Same sex marriages are now legal in this country and i can go around wearing rose coloured glasses or i can move with the times.
More and more muslim men flee thier country and settle in with a culture that is far from what they know or are used to and of course this is also going to cause problems and i do read the posts with interest but do not always agree with the advice. I get the impression you think i am here to cause trouble but that is not the case and i would never comment on a muslim only post..
We have different veiws and im quite happy to agree to disagree on some of them.
Assalaam everyone
firstly looks like things are going out of control here ladies and gentle men's lol
know then Joseph first convert to Islam with the guidance of a local imam once you have done that get married ASAP and then study Islam and inshaallah you will be guided as Islam is the only religion that is true and there is no god but Allah and Muhammed is the messenger of Allah, try to get hold of a English Quran wich is really easy to get hold and read please do read the following wich I will upload.
Joseph as for you being a atheist you don't bleive in god then you should read the following and it will guide you inshallah thanks for reading my Allah give you the ability to act upon what has been written.
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
1. ((Allah)) Most Gracious!
2. It is He Who has taught the Qur'an.
3. He has created man:
4. He has taught him speech (and intelligence).
5. The sun and the moon follow courses (exactly) computed;
6. And the herbs and the trees - both (alike) bow in adoration.
7. And the Firmament has He raised high, and He has set up the Balance (of Justice),
8. In order that ye may not transgress (due) balance.
9. So establish weight with justice and fall not short in the balance.
10. It is He Who has spread out the earth for (His) creatures:
11. Therein is fruit and date-palms, producing spathes (enclosing dates);
12. Also corn, with (its) leaves and stalk for fodder, and sweet-smelling plants.
13. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
14. He created man from sounding clay like unto pottery,
15. And He created Jinns from fire free of smoke:
16. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
17. (He is) Lord of the two Easts and Lord of the two Wests:
18. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
19. He has let free the two bodies of flowing water, meeting together:
20. Between them is a Barrier which they do not transgress:
21. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
22. Out of them come Pearls and Coral:
23. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
24. And His are the Ships sailing smoothly through the seas, lofty as mountains:
25. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
26. All that is on earth will perish:
27. But will abide (for ever) the Face of thy Lord,- full of Majesty, Bounty and Honour.
28. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
29. Of Him seeks (its need) every creature in the heavens and on earth: every day in (new) Splendour doth He (shine)!
30. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
31. Soon shall We settle your affairs, O both ye worlds!
32. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
33. O ye assembly of Jinns and men! If it be ye can pass beyond the zones of the heavens and the earth, pass ye! not without authority shall ye be able to pass!
34. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
35. On you will be sent (O ye evil ones twain!) a flame of fire (to burn) and a smoke (to choke): no defence will ye have:
36. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
37. When the sky is rent asunder, and it becomes red like ointment:
38. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
39. On that Day no question will be asked of man or Jinn as to his sin.
40. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
41. (For) the sinners will be known by their marks: and they will be seized by their forelocks and their feet.
42. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
43. This is the Hell which the Sinners deny:
44. In its midst and in the midst of boiling hot water will they wander round!
45. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
46. But for such as fear the time when they will stand before (the Judgment Seat of) their Lord, there will be two Gardens-
47. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-
48. Containing all kinds (of trees and delights);-
49. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-
50. In them (each) will be two Springs flowing (free);
51. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-
52. In them will be Fruits of every kind, two and two.
53. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
54. They will recline on Carpets, whose inner linings will be of rich brocade: the Fruit of the Gardens will be near (and easy of reach).
55. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
56. In them will be (Maidens), chaste, restraining their glances, whom no man or Jinn before them has touched;-
57. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-
58. Like unto Rubies and coral.
59. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
60. Is there any Reward for Good - other than Good?
61. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
62. And besides these two, there are two other Gardens,-
63. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-
64. Dark-green in colour (from plentiful watering).
65. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
66. In them (each) will be two Springs pouring forth water in continuous abundance:
67. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
68. In them will be Fruits, and dates and pomegranates:
69. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
70. In them will be fair (Companions), good, beautiful;-
71. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-
72. Companions restrained (as to their glances), in (goodly) pavilions;-
73. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-
74. Whom no man or Jinn before them has touched;-
75. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-
76. Reclining on green Cushions and rich Carpets of beauty.
77. Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
78. Blessed be the name of thy Lord, full of Majesty, Bounty and Honour.
If you need more guidance it will be a great pleasure to guide you inshaallah