Is my Nikkah valid or not?
Marriage in Islam.
I really need some guidance please!
I have been in love with a married man for nearly 9 years now.
My parents disapproved of this relation. We both tried several times to forget one another. He resides in Dubai and I currently live in UK. He is alot older than me and has 4 kids. I visited him 5 times and he visited me 3 times during these 8 years. We lived together for a period of 9 months as my family kicked me out the house.
No sexual intercourse took place. He came 3 times to marry me, however the first two times I was very scared to go against my families wishes and therefore did not marry him. However the third time, he forced me to do a nikah. As I was upset about my family I ended up doing nikah. I or him did not know the witnesses, there was no wali. No mahr given. I have still not been able to accept him as my husband even though I said yes at the time of nikah. My question is whether this nikah is valid without my fathers approval? We are not living together, even after the nikah no sexual intercourse took place. I feel I have made a complete mess of my life. I have tried to do istikhara several times but unable to get clear guidance.
I want to follow the correct path. Is he my husband or is it not valid without my dad being there? I had not previously been married.
I would be gratful if you could provide some advice.
Thanks,
Paddy123
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Assalamualaikum,
If it is as you said: no Wali, no witnesses, no Mahr; then your Nikah is invalid. Over all of this, when you did not accept the Nikah and were forced to accept, this is even a bigger reason the Nikah is invalid.
It is a Grace of Allah that you did not have any sexual intercourse, which would actually be Zina.
You should probably return to your parents and apologise to them. They will in sha Allah understand.
You were never married to him, so you are free to go. According to me, you should move to your parents and make sure you convince them, whatever it takes.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamu aleikum my dear sister....
"Prophet (saw) said: "If a man comes into you and asks your daughters hand them allow him to marry her, but this happens after you are happy with his religion and manners, otherwise there will be fitnah"
And he (saw) said the woman who married without her Walis agreement then her marriage is invalid, invalid and invalid..."
...Now as it is clear to you as well there is not Weli there and your parent has kicked you out then..how can your marriage be valid?. I am not Mufti or scholar to say to you it is valid or invalid, but that is what I have heard from Scholars and read from Kitabs and would advice you go to your parents and take care of them and go with their mind if it is permissible in Islam.
May Allah have mercy on you....
Honestly speaking, your marriage is invalid and Alhamdullilah that you are aware of this now. Sister, since that man is already married, much older than you, has 4 kids etc, I wouldn't advice you to go ahead with him even if proper marriage is done. This is completely my opinion, I said so, basically because of the very reason i've just mentioned about. Being his second wife can suppress your rights and you wouldn't have the freedom and rights that a single couple may enjoy. He will take it away illegally most certainly as he got 4 kids to looked after. Many problems may arise, we never know and this I say from family experiance not personal. I would say forget him, change your contacts and never visit him. For now insha'Allah try to rebuild your relations with your parents. Tell them you left him etc and obey your parents. You cant get more parents in your life but you can find many husbands.
Just to let you know that you've sinned as well in your process, that is by staying with him under same roof, etc and therefore you need to repent and beg Allah to forgive you for your ignorance.
Pray regularly, do tawbah, pray isthikara and have patience.
Hope for the best.
Asalamualaikum as far as I knw its mention in QURAN that a man can do four nikha if he is able to TKE care of ol equally than orelse one nikha. Its olso mention in QURAN if u r matured u cn perform yo nikha wid two witness n da girl DNT did to TKE his wali's permissions until n unless its wrong n da married man don't need to TKE his wife's permission to perform another nikha
Wa'alaykumsalam Sofia,
Yes it is true that in the Quran, Allah said that a man can marry upto four wives IF he can treat them justly but IF he cannot then he should marry only one.
You also said,
Is this what you said - 'When a woman is matured, she doesn't need her wali's permission for marriage' ? If yes, then thats not written in the Quran, sister.
The messenger of Allah is clear regarding this matter when he said: "There is no marriage without the permission of a guardian(wali)".