Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Financial worries

financial problems, money issue, wasting money

Assalamu Alaikkum

I am from Sri Lanka. my home town is part of eastern. but I am living in Capital of Sri Lanka in a boarding house.

me and my family affected our country internal war. so we lost our house and we moved rented houses from 1991 to 2012. because my father does not has proper income to buy or build a house. he is employed in saudi and qatar for long time from 1982-2000. but his earning was handled by mother for our day today life and my one brother and one with monthly rental of our living house with any credit from others.  within that my mother saved something and bought a land and built house in 1997 in my hometown. that time my sister 25years old but she was single as well.  our eastern area habit is if we build a new house there is a girl available for marry. with half built house married my sister in 2000. after that we have to leave that house its our area common sense and habit. so we have shifted to a rented house again 2002. from that time to upto 2014 me and my younger brother and mother are become one family and we moved here and there for rented houses. my father earning for us as a imam in a masjid in Colombo. in 2008 when I was in 25years old girl. until that no one brought any proposal and my parents also could not find a boy for me. because we were lived in a rented house. that time With Allah's blessing I got a job in colombo and I moved there for a job and started to live in a boarding house. my younger brother that time school still studying. with Allah's bless I also started earn some income for me and my family. its monthly 220 $. its I saved half of it. still we lived in the renting house. but our relations are may not feel help to us. we also didnt ask from others without. and relations also away from us because we dont own house and I am also oldest in marriage age girl available. no one interested to bring good proposal also for me. two proposals brought by brother in law. I didnt on interested on those because grooms are divorced and they had children as well. but I am still single and very interesting marry a loving islamic man. every one got angry with me and avoided us from there relationship. so me, mother and brother felt very sad. we were alone. that time 2014 my brother said to me sister now you are earning you having a saving little bit so shall we buy a land for that saving and we will take bank with the support of your job. I also agreed. mother also was okay. so I got 1379$ loan for two years. buy that we put foundation for the house and built somes walls. and we moved to that incompleted house to save our rental as well. again in 2015 July i got 3,034$. from this deducted earlier loan and balance 1696$ I got and built balance walls. now we don't have proper roof. so again this now i applied for the bank this month I might received it after deducted earlier loan balance 2069$ I will receive insha Allah. this amount I have to pay in 72 months period. any way I started the work to for roof. but now I am 34 years old girl. my younger brother studying degree me and my father income are using for this. mother also sewing at home. now our relations are very close with us. them accepted us. we are going to there house. they are coming to our house. but no one not interested to bring a proposal for me. however, with Allah's bless last week one proposal came in my home town. they are interested on me but they are said my building this house close to sea so they asked my sister's house to marry me. after my brother-in-law he said we take your building house, we give our house to marry. then i said while praying Allah. ok. after that groom side, bride working in colombo. she has to the job and after marriage should be live in hometown. I was thought so many way. later I thought Allah will protect me for a marriage. I said ok I will the job as well. then Again they need some more. but we dont have so they rejected that proposal.

what can i do for now? daily i am praying Allah. asking dua as isthiqfara. Asthagfirullah most of the time. after this proposal case i started to be fasting until my best in my life in every Monday and Thursday.

However,  I am staying in a sharing house for monthly rental in colombo. for my job. my brother also staying in a hostel in the Masjid for his education. Father is working in masjid its completely using for brother's education. my earning using for this house. within that mother was alone now sister asked her to stay with her. we are going to that house monthly for five days living as one family with wonderful happy.

now I am feeling this bank loan is halal or haram. I know bank loan is when i pay riba, it is haram. but I don't know the way what can I do for me. I don't know any one to help to repay my loan amount and leave this haram. I can't sell that built house as well because our country some proposals can come when i have this house. we can live in this when we get chance to be a family.

daily I am worrying about this. when i ask with my mother she is saying Allah knows best. I like to leave the job and reimburse the loan and live in the house like our home town girls. I dont have the way. So please islamic advisor please advice on soon.  Insha Allah.

realvoices


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2 Responses »

  1. SALAM.JUST LISTEN TO YOURSELF.THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.JUST LOOK AT THE SYRIANS WHO ARE FORCED OUT FOR SOME...YOU SEEN WHEN IMAN IS NOT CORRECT AND QURAN IS NOT DAILY.THEN THE WORRY AND PROBLEMS COME AND LIFE BECOMES BITTER?WHEN ARE ATTENTION IS TO ALLAH IN OBEYING THE COMMANDMENTS OF ALLAH AND TEACHINGS OF MUHAMMAD PBUH THEN ONLY WE WILL FIND PEACE OF MIND AND HEART.WE ALSO HAVE TO LOOK AT WHAT HARAM IS IN ARE LIvesTHE BIGGEST ONE IS INTEREST.THIS WILL DISABLE YOU. ALSO FOOD CLOTHING music movie..My advice marry a tabligh who spends 6 months every year. This guy is a gold mine because Allah has blessed him with Iman and guidance and so duniya chases him!

  2. Asalam alaikum sister,

    You asked a hard question, and there are not many answers for it. I will advise you to complete your house and keep living in it. Make your father to ask in the masjid for good men for you to marry, and also make him ask the imam or the masjid administration if there are any Islamic loans that the brothers and sisters can arrange with no riba. Also keep in mind that you are growing older, and so the men in your age range are growing older too. Most of the proposals you will be getting are from divorced men, which is not bad. Those divorced men have made their mistakes already and have learned their lessons to be good to their wife, so do not turn them away.

    You sound like a sweet, hard working lady, so do not give up your positivity or your hope in Allah. Allah is testing you the hardest because he knows you have very strong iman. Always be positive and look for the best in life. As the saying goes, " when one door closes, Allah open another."

    Salam
    Shereen

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