He says I must convert, divorce and that I belong to him as his fourth spouse.
Hello everybody. Sometimes life takes unexpexted turns, sometimes it is for good & sometimes for bad. My life took one such turn, when I met a Muslim man, when I was on my work, away from my hometown.
This turn was for the very good of me & I thank ALLAH for this. I am 27yrs old & my husband is 28, we were a happily married couple & I loved my husband very much, but I soon realised that I might have been born as a christian & got married to a christian, but my ultimate destiny would be ISLAM & I was ment to be a Muslim & follow the teachings of ALLAH & submit myself to a Muslim man.
I am a teacher & I was sent to a remote place to conduct classes for about a year & since I liked teaching kids I took up this job.
When I was there, I met the man that would enlighten me about ISLAM & convince me that ISLAM is the real religion & make me convert to ISLAM & finally with whom I fell in love with & submitted myself to his will & now I want to divorce my husband and become this man's fourth wife.
It all started when a boy of 8 yrs was waiting for his father to pick him up from the school & I was with him & told him that until his father comes, I'll be there with him as he was alone. Finally, his father came & my curiosity grew as I found him to be too elderly to have a son of eight yrs old, he was 57 yrs old & he told me that this boy was the son of him & his third wife & I just couldn't believe & wanted to know more about him. He started coming everyday & we got close, started talking things about ISLAM to me & I was getting more & more interested in ISLAM. His two sons from his first wife were couple of years elder to me. And I was just amazed at for his ability to have three wives & able to provide for them & all of their childrens (8 children).
We got very friendly & he expressed his likingness towards me by telling me that I am beautiful & stuff & told me that I should convert to ISLAM. After meeting, I kind of felt that I was ment to be a Muslim & felt a deep connection with ALLAH & accepted ALLAH as my god, ISLAM as my religion & him as my master...............
I felt good when he used to tell me that in ISLAM a man is permitted to have more than one wife & in fact appreciated ISLAM for this. (in other religion if a man likes another women, he has to divorce the first one, but here he can get married to his new love, without divorcing his first). we became so close that he took me to his house & introduced me to his three wives, they were very kind & took care of me.
He told me that I should convert & I just obeyed his command & got converted..................... my new name is NAZIMA. One day Mr told me that he wants me to divorce my husband & wanted me to get married to him & after hearing this I felt so good & I just closed my eyes & said YES to him. He told me that he spoke about me at his home & his three wives are in fact looking forward to welcoming me to their house as their husband's fourth & the youngest wife.
I didn't have a doubt in my mind that I wanted to be Mr. 's wife, but my husband loves me a lot & I just feel bad for him, as he would be all alone. But my destiny was as Mr.'s wife & serve ALLAH as a Muslim & submit my self to Mr. for his pleasure.
One day I just picked up my mobile & called my husband & just told him this & he was for sure heart broken, but I told him that with Mr. 's permission I will keep talking to him as a friend & even Mr. spoke to husband & told him that now I belong to him & this was ALLAH's will that me & Mr should get together & adviced my husband to accept ALLAH's will.
In fact Mr. even invited husband for our marriage, but sometimes I feel bad for husband. I don't know how to convince him to accept this...............Mr. 's lawyer would soon send the divorce papers, in which I have signed & I told this to my husband & he told me that if I am happy with Mr, he'll sign the papers, but he keeps begging me everyday to remain as his wife, which I can't do now.........................I'll keep talking to him as a friend, but he is very lonely & I some how want to cheer him up & make him understand that this is what the all mighty ALLAH wants & we all have to accept this.
Mr. told me that it's a sin, but since me & Mr would soon be getting married, we can ask forgiveness from ALLAH..................... me & Mr are so involved with each other that we even had sex. Mr. wanted me & I just felt honoured to give myself to him for his pleasure & I even told husband that now I belong to Mr. , as he took pleasure from my body & I would love to give myself to Mr. forever, in fact I told david that when first touched me, I felt that he had already had the right to do so & felt that I belonged in his arms.
But still husband keeps begging me literally to stay with him...............
please advice me on my step towards becoming a muslim women, marrying Mr. & mostly how can I try & convince husband to accept this.................. I don't want to just walk out on husband, as he doesn't have anyone, but it's better he realizes this soon & stops calling me as even Mr. 's patience with husband is also running out....................
If Mr. does something to make him understand then I will definetly support my master & that's why I want husband to accept that I am now NAZIMA, not Jackeline & have submited to Mr & will soon be his wife.
- Nazima
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Sister you committed a sin sleeping with this old mr(master) what a bad way to start your new life as a muslim.
i cant lie Allah forgive me but this has made me laugh iam so sorry, but the way you talk about submitting to him sister please learn more about islam and your rights as a muslim woman, it looks like your husband is VERY understanding and will deal with it in the end, ask Allah for forgiveness and tell mister to stay away from you untill you are married he should not be alone with you at all.
Astaghferullah, I hate to admit it but I laughed at this entire story. I find it a bit hard to believe that this is real and not someone trolling. Allahu Aleem.
Sounds like a hoax to demonize Islam or she actually joined a cult.
loool it does sound like a cult.:)
Sister Nazima, this man "Mr." has brainwashed you, manipulated you and used you. Engaging in sex before marriage is a major sin in Islam, known as zinaa, and any man who would expect this from you is not a good Muslim, and not a good husband. He has committed adultery with you.
You have been terribly unjust to your husband. When you converted to Islam, your marriage was not automatically ended. There is a waiting period during which you should try to invite your husband David to Islam, so the two of you can remain married. You say that you loved each other. If that's the case, why would you betray him in this way? What you have done is sinful and has nothing to do with Islam.
I'm sorry to say that I completely doubt the sincerity of your conversion. I think you have fallen under the sexual spell of this older man, and that all of your actions are based on this. If he had been Hindu or Buddhist, you would have become Hindu or Buddhist to follow him.
This is the antithesis of Islam, which is supposed to be about dedication to Allah first and foremost. In Islam we obey Allah's commandments as given to us in the Quran, and we follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Islam is not a cult where we do whatever we feel in the name of infatuation or sexual desire. A Muslim woman is a creature of spirit and soul, not a slave to submit to a human "master". We are all slaves only of Allah.
I feel sorry for you, as you have been badly manipulated, but I feel even more sorry for your husband. What image must he have of Islam now? He must think that Islam is an evil cult, and he would be right to think so, based on your behavior.
I doubt you will follow any advice that you receive here. But if you are truly sincere as a Muslim, then you need to end your relationship with this older man immediately. He is not your husband and you have no right to have physical contact with him or to discuss marriage with him. Go back to your husband and give him a chance to embrace Islam and remain your husband.
Even if your husband refuses Islam, and you end up divorced, stay away from the older man, who is nothing but an adulterer and manipulator.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Masha´Allah, Wael you have given her an excellent answer. I would like to add the following. I do believe she will listen to us and she will follow the best for her, a part of her knows this is wrong, she has signed as Jackeline, this says a lot about her.
Sister Jackeline, Wael has spoken wisely to you, please don´t give a single second more of your life to this evil man that just had take advantage of you. You know that you have commited a sin having sex with this man, being christian or being muslim you have betrayed your husband and you have cheated on him, this is easy to see and you cannot scape from this reality. Your husband, masha´Allah, loves you dearly, he knows everything and he still wants to save you from this evil person and I am sure he will forgive you too.
Sister you must repent for what you have done, adultery is a grave sin, you have to stop sinning (on top of the page you have a link on tawbah)and go as far as you can from this evil person and if you see you cannot save yourself, ask your husband to help you to get out of the hell you are in, you will be just his sexual toy, you are an intelligent, compassionate, well prepared person, masha´Allah, you don´t belong to any other human being, you belong to Allah(swt).
Sister don´t waste your life and return home, do as Wael has told you and begin your life as a straight muslimah, following the Straight Path, once you begin to learn about your deen, you will discover how bad this man has behaved with you.
You will have us here if you need us to help you, may Allah(swt) protects and guide you to the Straight Path. Ameen.
From Heart to Heart,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I completely agree with what you have said but
I'm sorry to say that I completely doubt the sincerity of your conversion. I think you have fallen under the sexual spell of this older man, and that all of your actions are based on this. If he had been Hindu or Buddhist, you would have become Hindu or Buddhist to follow him
I don't think a 57 year old man would have any sexual magnet , especially to attract a woman half his age . Hard to believe perhaps it may be true . I think this man is very good in manipulating and deceiving people and using them to his advantage .
Salam Alaikum,
Listen to Wael, this "Mr." man sounds like a creep, he committed Zina with you! He tells you to convert and you do and then says let's have intercourse and you do! What a horrible, manipulative man!
Your real husband obviously loves you, you should both go to Islamic classes and learn more about Islam, not this "Mr."'s interpretation.
This man's actions really annoy me, I dislike people who try and trick new Muslims and take advantage of them.
You must repent to Allah and ask for forgiveness..
Fee Aman Allah
Leanda El-Ali
Sister Jackeline left this comment for us the 29th of July,
Hello everyone,
Jacqueline here, thanks for all you'r advices................I spoke to Mr. about this & he too accepted that we comitted Zina by having sex before our marriage & told me that the day he saw me, he fell in love with me & decided that he will give it a honest try to convince me to get married to him & by now all you people know that he was atleast successful in making me have a softcorner for him in my heart & in making me love him back..........................mostly it was because of me getting to know ISLAM & me appreciating & accepting ISLAM which made me feel that I truly belonged in ISLAM & belonged to a MUSLIM man & since I had already developed a softcorner for Mr. , I accepted his view that I should convert to ISLAM & I agreed to get married to him & when he told me that he wants to enjoy me, I gladly gave myself to him. Regarding my husband, our's was an arranged marriage, we never knew eachother before marriage & after marriage, yes I started liking him & he loved me a lot.....................but now since I strongly feel that ISLAM is the religion I want to follow & want to die as a MUSLIM, I don't know what to do, I am really confused. My husband definetly loves me & wants me to stay back with him & I know that me & Mr. did Zina by becoming one before our marriage, but I feel that Mr. too loves me a lot, otherwise he would not have involved me in his family & introduced me to his son's & wives & tell them that he wants to marry me. Infact when I was in Mr.'s shop, he had to go out for sometime & Mr. 's son was speaking to me & as I had told earlier, I am infact couple of years younger to Mr.'s sons & if any other boy would have been there, he would have tried to hit on me, but I felt so proud of ISLAM that Mr's son gave me the full respect, although I was younger to him, he actually respected me as his father's would be wife & I felt that this kind of culture can only be learnt in ISLAM, if it was anyother religion boy, he might have tried to talk to me in a differtent way & this made me respect ISLAM & Mr. more, as Mr. asserted himself as the family head & everyone else is below him & without his say, nothing happens in the family, I think this kind of respect & decepline can be found only in ISLAM. Me & husband decided that we will not have a child for sometime & I thank ALLAH for this, as if we had, even that child would be put in a confused situation, on the other hand, Mr. wants to plant his seed inside me & wants me to give birth to his child, so I feel that he really loves me.................I hope.
At this point I am like torn between my loving husband & my urge to follow ISLAM & my loving man Mr., I mean let's face it, Mr. is 30yrs elder to me, but still when he started coming close to me, I kind of unknowingly got pulled towards him & he says that it was ALLAH's will that this had to happen & I just accepted it. I'm really confused now & don't know which way to go.................I tried to find whether Mr. just wanted my body, but he actually loves me & so does my husband......................Since I've already converted to ISLAM now, I can't say no to Mr., but at the same time I don't know how to tell my husband that I have to leave him & be Mr. 's wife......................please help me & may be I'm not thinking right now, so please show me the right path.
"Since I've already converted to ISLAM now, I can't say no to Mr...."
thats sick. Sister you need real guidance. Becoming a Muslim has nothing, NOTHING, to do with submitting to a man!!! Why are you linking the two. In your mind it works out that becasue you are a muslim, you can let an old man have his way with you??? can't you see he is uisng you. If he wants to marry you, then leave your husband and marry him. end this sin.
Dear Ms. jacqueline/ Ms. Nazima,
My sympathy to you, I understand how you feel. Me, myself almost fall in the same story. I have one kid, strong Christian moral values, but i admit I commit sin by falling in love with a man almost double my age, promised me a wedding and be 4th wives after converting to Islam.
I have studied Islam and adapted it sister, my new name now is Asmahan but during my study of quran I got enlightened against the darkest path I am walking thru If I accepted being the 4th wives. Like you do, my husband loves me and have a kid, For him knowing that I got another affair. He still loves me and willing to take me back, I am an arrange marriage to my husband too, but 12 years been together I got an affection too. It will hurt me more If I will se him being hurt because I abandon him. My husband converted to islam too and we decided to live together. I a still his First and only wife until now, I get over with, with my feeling to my Muslim lover. I knew I still love him, but Quran will not love destroying ones family. Sexual satisfaction, can always be settled between you and husband, Be open minded tell him what you wants and ask him, what is his? Your 50 y/o lover he knows a lot, his age master it already and he can handle 3 wives . Think sister, you still have time. Check your heart? ask yourself Am I ready being 4th wives, abandon my family and being 4th means a lot of sacrifices sister. No matter how the other wives accept you, do you never think its only a camouflage? pray hard sister and ask for Allah's guidance to enlightened you.
As salamu alaykum, sister Jackeline,
You only belong to Allah(swt), we don´t belong to any other human being, what I think you feel towards this man is not love, you just like the feeling of being submited to him, he takes all the decisions for you and you like his power over you , over the others and over situations, this is a fact, and it doesn´t matter he says he is muslim, if he was from other religion you would follow him the same.
I understand you are blind now, he has gotten a lot of power over you, but never too late, that you converted tells you, you cannot say no to Allah(swt), this man has nothing to do with your conversion, he is just a man and you can say no anytime you want to him.
Think that you have a daughter and that she finds herself in your situation, what would you advice to her?
Islam is against sinning and his acts preceeds him. He showed you who he is, Alhamdulillah, now your turn to decide.
May Allah(swt) guide us all to the Straight Path and help us to mantain the direction. Ameen.
Ramadan Mubarak,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As salamu alaykum, brother a muslim man,
Thank you very much for your reply brother, I hope sister Jackeline will be able to see and appreciate how concerned you are by her situation, I want to share the following with you.
She is an intelligent, well educated woman, and that maybe a part of the problem, this kind of men has the instinct highly developed and yes, they have a magnet, they are by nature strong leaders and submit everyone around them, for a woman that hasn´t ever broken the rules, used to be between the average, when they get in contact with this kind of men, their own personality dissapears on the air and all they want is what the man wants, they get absorved by them, no will, no thoughts, no able to move, confused, lost, empty, .... this is tough, believe her when she says:"I am not thinking right now...." this is true, she is literally asking for the straight path, she knows she is blind, Alhamdulillah. A part of her still conscious, that is why she is writing here.
Sister Jackeline, read ayat al kursi until you learn it by heart, once you have done it. Repeat it everytime you feel him in your mind or in your Heart, you need to see and this ayat will help you to see without veils, insha´Allah. This ayat is the 255 of the second Surah of the Al-Quran (Al- Baqara). Please don´t tell him you are doing it. See if it makes any difference, some of your veils will fall, insha´Allah.
A dua that will help you during this ramadan is the following: Laa illahaa illa anta subhanaka innee kuntu minadhaalemeen (There is none worthy of worship besides You, You are far exalted and above all weaknesses, surely I am from the wrong doers).
Sister we are for you if you need us, insha´Allah.
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hello everyone, Jacqueline here, asking for more help & enlightnment
I have posted my situation here two times earlier, narrating the sequence of my situation & I got some advices from you all. I want to take this opportunity in thanking all of you who have taken you'r time to go through my post & advice me accordingly & I thank the people for creating such a wonderful site, where people like me, who are lost, can seek advice & most importantly I thank the all mighty ALLAH for accepting me as a muslim.
I'm posting again here as I feel that I'm still confused & not able think what is right not only for me, but to all three of us ( me, my husband & my love Mr. Bashir, who introduced & enlightned me about ISLAM ) Actually Mr. Bashir keeps telling me that I was ment to be a muslim, he was only a means through which I would get to know ISLAM & now I just can't think of anyother religion's exhistiance other than ISLAM.....................AND I'M PROUD THAT I FINALLY GOT TO KNOW ABOUT THE REAL RELIGION & GOT CONVERTED TO ISLAM. There is no regret that I left christianity & converted to ISLAM & I want to live & die as a MUSLIM. But still the issue of my husband & my MUSLIM lover man, whom I have accepted fully is still confusing me.
I am sure with the giudance of ALLAH through all of you true MUSLIMS I will be able to take the right decesion which will keep all three of us happy & lead me to the right path. I don't want take any decesion just to keep me happy, since because of me, my husband & my love Mr. Bashir are too suffering, I want to take a decesion which will keep all of us happy, I know it's not possible to make a decesion where every one is 100% happy, but the one that I decide to not to live with, should still feel that I took that decesion for the best of all three of us.
As I said in my earlier posts, I met Mr. Bashir when I was on my teaching assignment to a small town, away from my city. Now I've come back to my city & live with my husband, but me & Mr. Bashir talk everyday on the phone. I have told both of them that I need some time to make my decesion on finally with whom I will stay. I told to my husband David, clearly that while I stay with him in the same house, I will still keep talking to Mr. Bashir & told that until ALLAH decides for me, with whom I will finally stay, I will not have sex with him. David understood & told me that he is willing to wait until I make a decesion. So, now although me & David stay in the same house & we are married, I don't have sex with him.....................I keep talking to Mr. Bashir as well & I have told the same to Mr. Bashir too & he too appreciated me for this & told me that now since I am a MUSLIM, he respects me as a MUSLIM & will touch me only once we get married & he told me very confidently that ALLAH will make me take the right decesion & told me that he knows that finally I will be his wife & told me INSHALLAH he will plant his seed inside me & I will give birth to his child.
Meanwhile I want to tell some things that are happening in my life, by which you people can analyze & advice me which is right to do & where I belong. Me & my husband, David have a more friendly relation now & although we live together, I have strictly said no to sex as I don't want to commit ZINA again. I've decided that I will have sex only with the man, to whom I truly belong & which ALLAH will tell me through time. Earlier when ever I used to dress, I used to get dressed in front of David, but now I just ask him to leave the room.............................I feel that if it was Mr. Bashir...............may be I would not have asked him to leave the room, does this mean that I am not comfortable showing my bare body to david & I am comfortable showing it to Mr. Bashir.......................I don't know, but that's how I feel now. I don't know may be my love for Mr. Bashir has grown more than the love that I had for David, may be this is because Mr. Bashir is a MUSLIM & the man who introduced me to ISLAM. Before I met Mr. Bashir, I used to have sex with David as his wife, but when I had sex with Mr. Bashir, when he first touched me, I had this feeling that I was honoured when he touched me.........................felt like submitting to his will. I think this may be because, I wanted to be a MUSLIM & felt that I should be touched only by a MUSLIM man & who better that the man who enlightned me about ISLAM.
Me & Mr. Bashir keep talking, sometimes I talk to him in front of David as if Mr. Bashir was my husband & Mr. Bashir even came to my city to meet me. We met, but this time the only thing we did was hold eachothers hands. Mr. Bashir told me that he loves me madly & he infact was not thinking about marrying again, but since he happened to come across me & when he came to know that I was intrested in ISLAM, he thought that he will lead me into ISLAM & then he fell in love with me & then asked me to marry him. He told me that he can't wait to enjoy my body again & give me his child, but accepted that we both comitted ZINA the first few times we had sex & don't want to do it again. He told me that he will only see my bare body & enjoy me after we get married & at that point I just closed my eyes & asked ALLAH to make it happen, but at the same time asked ALLAH to give David streangth if I have to leave him.
I told this to David & told him that somehow ALLAH will tell me what to do & once ALLAH makes my decesion, we all have to abide by it & told David that incase I feel that I belong to Mr. Bashir & get married to him, I will always be a good friend to David. I am confused, but I don't understand my feelings, I feel that I can just let Mr. Bashir do anything with me & I feel that I can just remove my cloths in front of Mr. Bashir, but not infront of my husband....................................When ever Mr. Bashir talks to me I feel so good & even when he just held my hand when he came to meet me, I felt honoured....................................................I don't know what to think, does this mean that ALLAH is pointing to me that I belong to Mr. Bashir. I can't understand the signs.............................................please help me
Jacqueline.
You are very heartless towards your husband david, you and mr are very careless of his feelings, stop bring islamic and Allah(swt) in to your twisted horrible life choices.
Kids advice in Cartoon show Super Sleuth: Think, Think, Think, Think. If you do not know the answer think, think and think.
Woman advice, be smart girl and be practical. Think being a woman and a mother.
Muslim advice girl: You maybe a Muslim but act like one too. If you are really enlightened with the teachings you received. Will you be still in these situation. My sympathy and prayers for you.
Hello Everybody, Jacqueline here,
I've had a very shakey & confused past few months & you people must be knowing my story by now. For those of you who don't know, please go through my post from the start, as you'll come to know my entire situation & you can advice me accordingly. Well, it's been over 5 months since I last posted & I really appreciate & thank all of you who took time to reply to me & advice me, inspite of how stupid & insane my story sounded. I took all you'r advices & really gave mine & Mr. Bashir's relation time. This might be my final post here, as I don't want to keep troubling you people & ask for help. I know most of you people are disgusted with the way I've gone about this.
But, after giving a lot of time to my relation, I feel that it is love & true love between me & Mr. Bashir, our fault was that we fell in love, inspite of being married to our spouces respectively. But, neither me nor Mr. Bashir would have ever thought that we will come across each other & fall in love so deeply, that we would go to the extent of forgetting the entire world, when we are together.
I had to hear many harsh statements from some of you, like I loved Mr. Bashir for sex & stuff, but looking back I want to remind you people that Mr. Bashir is over 30 years elder to me & infact his two eldest sons from his first wife are older than me, I mean why would a young girl, who is married to a young & handsome man, would go with a man who is 30 years older, just for sex, infact by ALLAH's grace, I'm quite beautiful & I do get intrest shown towards me from other men, men who are rich & much more handsome than David, but I never fell for them...............the very first time I met Mr. Bashir, it was not a sexual attraction, but pure respect for him & yes, as i spent more & more time with him, during my initial days, I started liking him, his way of life & his principles in life. Infact he has a lot of people following him in his place, he has helped a lot of people in different ways.
Well, yes, when we got really close to each other & realised that we both love each other, we crossed the line & committed Zina by having sex, but after that we met several times, we just spoke to each other & at the most held each other's hands................we didn't even kiss. Infact there were times when I tumbled & offered myself to him & wanted him to enjoy my body, but Mr. Bashir used to tell me that we should never commit another Zina & told me that if ALLAH's wish is there, we both will be married & seal our love.
I really gave it a lot of time & I feel that me & Mr. Bashir just love & love each other. I've not hidden anything from my husband & Mr. Bashir too has told about me to his family & his other three wives have accepted me & are looking forward to welcoming me in their house as their husband's fourth wife. As far as my husband David goes, I'm still with him, I like him too, but have told him about Mr. bashir & infact Mr. Bashir has become a part of our married lives. I speak to Mr. bashir in front of david, very frankly & I never had to hide anything........................& David too knows that I love Mr. Bashir & has accepted it, I've told everything to David, even the fact that during the initial days of me & Mr. Bashir's affair, we had sex few times, until we realized that we had committed Zina. David doesn't fight with me over this issue anymore & has accepted my view that if ALLAH wants, I'll be Mr. Bashir's wife. Infact all three of us have left our future to ALLAH. Infact by virtue of Mr. Bashir's age & expierence in life, David too has started to respect Mr. Bashir.
I have a very good friend of mine & she knows about this, her name is Catherine, she is not married though, but adviced me with more maturity. She told me a few things & I feel that I might be doing injustice to both Mr. Bashir, David & above all to ALLAH, if I don't take a decesion soon. Once we both were sitting together & having coffee & I broke down & started crying & told her how confused I was, she asked me whom do I love, Mr. Bashir or David & I couldn't pick any one................told her that I belive I love both of them, then she told me to close my eyes & I did & asked me who do I see, with my eyes closed & I told her that it was Mr. Bashir. She told me that this means although I love both of them...................my love for Mr. Bashir has far exceeded my love for my husband David & told me that if I'm like this then no one will be happy, told me that if I remain married to david, will I forget Mr. Bashir & I spontainously said a big no & so she went on to tell that, this way I'll not be happy, David will not be happy as I will keep loving Mr. Bashir & Mr. Bashir will not be happy as he won't have me as his wife. She told me that as per her, I should go ahead & leave David & get married to Mr. Bashir, she told me that if I do this, David will for sure will not be happy, but he'll not be 100% happy even If I stayed married to him, as I will always love Mr. Bashir. But told me that, if I get married to Mr. Bashir, atleast the two of us ( me & Mr. Bashir ) will be happy & I can contunue to be a good friend to David & slowly make him understand that this was the best thing to do. She told me that love is the greatest gift of god to us & I should be proud of my love towards Mr. Bashir & told me that love knows no barriers & the very fact I fell in love with man who is 30 years older to me, is testemony to true love. Infact I forsee the situation where if I do remain married to David, obiviously I will keep loving Mr. Bashir & there might come a point where we are so engulfed by our love for each other, that if Mr. Bashir does come to our house & asks me to give my self to him, I will just gladly do that & if this happens when David is around, he will feel bad, please don't get me wrong here, we both infact very strongly regret the Zina we committed & we want to live our lives together by the directions of QURAN, but at the end afterall we both are humans & we can controll our love for each other & wait until we both are legally married only for so long, at the end whether I leave or remain married to David, my love for Mr. Bashir is very true & very strong & I'm afraid that in the heat of our love, we might make our allmighty ALLAH very angry by breaking all the barriers & get in each others arms & start loving each other openly like we did earlier, I know ALLAH will never forgive me, but I beg ALLAH to forgive Mr. Bashir & give streangth to David to accept this, I'm just afraid that our love for each other will make us to more sins, if I remain like this without taking a decesion......................I just want both of them to be happy, but I know that I can't make a decesion where I can keep both equaly happy, one will feel more happy & one less, but I guess that's the best I can do.........................
Infact Catherine is so amazed by my love for Mr. Bashir & my transformation & my Islamic lifestyle, that day I was crying badly & just to cheer me up & on a serious note told me that I'm her inspiration & now she wants to leave christianity & convert to Islam & get married to a Muslim Man.........................
There were occassions where my husband fell sick & I took care of david, it was my duty as I was his wife & I like him too, but I never had any sexual activities with him, as I felt that I should not do it, until I'm clear in my mind, with whom I'll be..............................hope ALLAH shows me the path soon. Coming to Mr. Bashir, we keep talking a lot, infact he keeps coming frequently to meet me & came to our house also...................there were occassions where he even spoke to David & told him how much he loves me...............I just told david that even I don't knw how this will go, but I love Mr. Bashir & we all have to accept what ALLAH tells us & he too now understands that.
I belive I have kept the facts before you people & I strongly belive that ALLAH will guid me through his good people, through you people & I've told both my husband & Mr. Bashir that I have posted about our lives here & I am seeking advice & Mr. Bashir felt very proud of me & assured me that our true love will be rewaeded & will live for ever.
Thanks,
Jacqueline
Jacqueline, you are deeply confused. You keep talking about accepting what Allah tells you, while you continue to violate all the guidelines that Allah has given us, and all the Islamic teachings about the sanctity of marriage. There is nothing acceptable in what you are doing, and it certainly has nothing to do with following Allah. You have adopted Islam in name only, but your behavior is not that of a Muslim.
In Islam a married woman cannot have any intimate contact with another man, not even hand-holding, cannot speak to him improperly, and cannot be alone with him.
If you feel that you cannot continue with your husband then divorce him properly. During the 'iddah you must not have contact with Bashir or any other man. After the 'iddah is complete, then you can marry Bashir.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
assalamu alaikum , everything you are doing as far as islam and who you should be with is wrong.... First of all david is your husband, you should not evenn be in contact with mr bashir at all. He isnt a mahrem for you, you cannot meet, talk ,hold hands anything. To talk of intimate details to your husband about a man you are not married to is so heartless and wrong. You are not taking ay ofthebrothers or sisters advice here you cannot have both men in your life norcan you be a friend todavidif u decide to leave him. Make up your mind sister, repent to allah and strt a newlife on your own without mr bashir. If he doesnt follow sharia by commiting zina with you and holding your hand etc how can he holdup his fear of the almigty allah swt. The way you have decided to go about hings is cruel and horrible. May allah guide you to the syraight path it takes more than conversion to be Muslim.
Salamu Alaykum,
This really makes me sad.
I don't know where you from Jacqueline but you sound like a very insecure woman.
How can you be someone's slave and how can a man be someone's master?
I am a covert as well, I have been married for more then twenty years and I have five sons but never I felt my husband was my master.
I think you are suffering from some kind of mental problems. You said your 'previous' marriage was an arrangement one, I guess you are brainwashed ever since you were born.
Women in Islam are precious and we have certain rights as we also have responsibilities towards Allah and the people around us.
You totally mistreated your husband David and I feel sorry for him. He sounds like a good man and you sound like a woman who lets herself get manipulated by Mr. Bashir.
The devil is playing tricks on you sister.
I hope you will learn more about Islam and don't listen to Mr. B. because we as muslims mostly learn from the direct source and that is the Quran.
The way you write and talk shows your disturbed mindset. There is no consistency in your story.
I hope Allah will guide us all and to be honest, I hope your husband David will find Allah and embrace Islam and I hope he will marry someone who is kind and loving for him.
Wassalaam,
Jasmina