Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I hate my family

Woman alone

Asalam alaykum, I’m a teenage girl living with 5 brothers. I hate each and every one of them including my parents. They make fun of me everyday calling me names like “ugly” “useless” “witch” and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know what to do I cry every night from my brothers and even think of committing suicide. My parents are really protective of me and don’t understand how I feel. My elder brother is forcing me to wear a abaya and stay at home to clean. I feel trapped and worthless. I lose friends because of my family now I am insecure and tired of life. I haven’t spoken to my dad for 3 days now and my mum is angry at me. What do I do now I can’t take it anymore I’ve cried too much I fail in school, appearance, religion, friends, family and life. Please help me sort out my life before it’s too late

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4 Responses »

  1. Asalamaualayikum sister, firstly praise be to Allah, Allah is sufficient for us, always remind yourself that in the end only Allah can help us.

    Before it’s too late is a very bold scary statement sister and please please don’t think this way. I tell others this that our lives are phases and all phases will pass. Each one has a role to play, you are now at a vulnerable stage in your life, being picked on by your brothers and not getting very much freedom.

    I would advise you, when at home, read or do things that make you happy, find your interests and look to explore those, when your brothers annoy you leave the room. Make a safe space for yourself away from the negativity, you should try to explain to your parents about the way you are feeling as I am also a parent and would be displeased knowing my daughter felt this way.

    Try not to let your emotions get the better of you as it makes you more vulnerable to this behaviour you are experiencing from your siblings. Remember Allah is watching what is happening so take strength from that and know that they will be held accountable for their actions.

    Sister you are so young with your whole life ahead of you, one day in sha allah you will look back and see this phase as one of many which won’t even bother you.

    Pray to Allah, make dua that they leave you alone and ask them politely to stop and walk away, if abuse turns physical then you should speak to your parents and if that doesn’t help seek help from someone trustworthy.

  2. Salam..I'm sorry this is happened to you...The answer is simple...please understand and ponder....Allah loves you very much but you are missing a very important thing in your life...This is Iman. Today the muslim people are by name they have no purpose in life no direction and most of all no guidance. The prophet Muhammad is a role model for us....Did you know that success in this world and in the hereafter is only obeying the commandments of Allah through the way shown by our Prophet Muhammad.....Those in this world who do not obey Allah orders will never be successful regardless on how intelligent or wealthy he is...He will find shaitan as his guide...he will live with problems stress worry never peace of mind nothing good to say...always complaining about money...basically cursed.....So what to do...
    Look the companions of the prophet sacrificed there lives for you and me to be muslims..they were attacked by there own families.....learn my dear....so what to do..1st learn salah 5 times a day is cumpulsory in every male n female adult learn Quran read Quran daily understand....and do zikr daily and at the same time educate yourself to to college become somebody...remeber Allah will guide you and give you the love n peace to bare all situations...as one saint said be like the sun it smiles and shines at all..it treats people with love n respect....its tough but Alllah is the master planner and controller of all hearts....you must learn read Tamil haq manzil for protection but as a sunni muslim learn n master it..you will see results in your life....dont let shaitan whisper negative thoughts just remember Allah....he stays away! Good luck...any ?, just ask my wife is a muslim scholor

    • Not everyone's problem is because of lack of iman, you know. You are not really in a position to assume people have no or weak iman when they are faced with a problem, and it's not very helpful to give people passive / empty advice when they are truly stuck and hopeless. Being passive in desperate times only magnifies the problems people have. Praying for miracles is not the answer here; And I don't understand why so many Muslims think that praying and thinking their problems away is actually correct Islamic practice. I'm not saying people shouldn't pray and do dhikr, but these kind of problems also need some serious and actual effort on people's part.

      To OP:
      You are very young and vulnerable, and your family is clearly oppressing you in many ways. The people that are supposed to love and protect you are bullying you, destroying your spirit and confidence, and controlling you - no wonder you feel like giving up on life. But please please DON'T. Suicide is absolutely not the answer to your problems. It never is the answer to a problem. Everything in life is temporary; you and I are, your parents are, your brothers are...please don't make a very final decision to solve a very temporary problem. I don't know where you live, but if you are in a Western country, there should be help to get. Talk to your school, a counselor or a social worker...and do everything you can to become more independent from your family so that you can go your own ways as soon as possible. Not necessarily cutting them out of your life completely, if you don't want to, but put enough distance between yourself and your toxic family so that you keep your sanity. That's your right.

      Please focus on school, try get a job or a hobby that you can distract yourself with until you are able to move out on your own.

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