Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Help me – trapped in a violent and abusive marriage

You deserve to be treated like one. Nobody deserves to be abused.

You deserve to be treated like one. Nobody deserves to be abused.

Asalamualaikum, i am writing for the first time

i got married 9 months ago. i was in a relationship with this man since 5 long years. i was only 17 when i met him. he has always abused me, my mother, my family. Since i was kid i am with this man. I made a very big sin (zinah) with him when i 17. So this is the only reason i always bared for whatever he says, he dose , i changed for him , i am scared of him of whatever he says , i obey his evry command even if he asks me not to go out with own father. he's very possesive and he never respects me . Abuse and talk rubbish about me in front of whole duniya.

He got married to me and left me with his mother and went dubai. He never took me anywhere for an outting he can never do anything to make me happy. I stayed alone for 6months after marriage with my mother in law. I am so selfless now i dont know what to do.

He started hitting me after marriage and hes never sorry he always blame me. My family is asking me to leave him. I am so depressed and sick of my awful life... would allah punish me for it? I dont want my children to watch me get hitted and abused as my mother and father were divorced. Please reply.


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8 Responses »

  1. Asalam Alykum my name is Khadija. Sister in my opinion is that you should divorce because first of all a women came from a man's rib, therefor he has no right to abuse you. Muhammad s.a.w extremely disliked when a women was mistreated by her husband. Even though you committed zinah ask Allah for forgiveness. Your husband has no right to punish you for what sin you have did nither anyone else can but Allah. In a hadith Muhammad S.A.W stated that a Muslim is not allowed to hurt a Muslim verbally or physically. I pray to Allah that you be very patience and have a great life in the duniya and in the hereafter. Your kids do not deserve to see you be beaten up. Another advice is to listen to the Ruqyah everyday. The ruqyah is the most powerful verses from the Quran. Any evilness in the house Wil lbe gone Inshallah. It my be also the cause of black magic. Asalam Alykum I am waiting for your reply. I hope this helps.

    • Please refer to the Prophet (sws) as the Prophet, the Prophet Muhammad, or the Messenger of Allah (sws). Not by his first name only.

      Wael Editor

  2. Sister why are u wating for others to tell u leave him???? U know urself very well u wont get anthing apart from abuse from this marrieg then why wait??? Yes u have commited a big sin but that dosnt mean u need to suffer or if u stay ur kids will suffer too!! Divorce him Ask allah for forgiveness and never repeat ur mistake again. Just imagine its been only a few months and hes behiving like this wht will he do after a few years???

    Dont take this matter lightly Divorce him now before it gets too late and children get involve. Dont let ur past ruint ur and ur kids future!! That wod be unfaire with kids.

  3. Assalaamualaikam

    This man is controlling, disrespects you, and is physically violent - these are serious danger signs and you need to take action in order to safeguard yourself and any children you have. I'd recommend that you ask your family to help you leave him, and once you are safely away from him, request divorce or file for khula.

    Midnightmoon editor

  4. salaam sister, honestly you cannot stay with a man like that! think of your children and yes u made a mistake in the past but seek forgiveness for that allah swt is the most mericiful. you dont deserve a man who hits you. it isnt allowed in islam. leave him as soon as you can sister.

  5. Respected sister I'm not sure you should ask about this to some aalim that if one had a zina he/she should marry with the one he/she had zina so as to have kafara of the sin as you stated that you marry the same guy than I think you had your kafara but you should ask some aalim about it and if it is the same as I'm saying then you may think of the way you want without any fear

  6. N òooooo. . Women have more rights then men.....I speak because my wife is a sunni can divorce him and charge him for spousal abuse physically n mentally. ..There evil people in this world and Islam does not tolerate violence! !!!!!Learn your rights and religion properly. ....You must find women who help women in such cases or else you will suffer and not accomplish anything in this life.....You need to positive and look forward ...Allah gave everybody a brain ..We must use it in away that are life has peace love and strength. ..We need to have a career were we are financially independent so we can help others..

  7. hey i dont understand why you are waiting for advice dont you have mind? i think you should take action about this you are going to mad i think so because of ignoring your crying and you need to talk about it with your family if you think they will help you if you dont wanna tell your family then you have to talk with your husband about whole cercumstances that is really hard for you i can understand he hitting you everyday but you didnot go with your family i m shocked right? i think the better way talk about it with family if your family love you other talk with husband inshallah everything will be fine inshallah if you wanna talk to me then mraheelkhan00 this is my skype account but dont take tension alot

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