Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am just fed up of what is happening in my life…

Muslim woman

I am a student and now-a-days I am facing so many troubles in my life due to a cheap person who tries his best to spoil my life. Actually near about a month ago a proposal came in notice of my family for me, he shows interest in me. His parents are not alive so all the formalities are performed by his sister as his sister isn't here in pakistan so she contact with my mother on call & she said that she came back in june and then i will fix the date. After few days he contact with my sister and take my number from her & he said that i want to know you as we are going to marry so please lets know each other and he start texting me.

Next day when i am going back to home from my university he text me that where are you i told him that i am going back to home he told me he dont like that i travel alone on buses etc &   he said that i will drop you there & that is good for us further to comfortable with each other and i am not agreed with this so he convinced me &  he drop me on the station in his car.

I realizes that this person is so cheap because he push me towards himself and made a picture without my permission and said that i just take that picture for this purpose that how good we look with each other .I am not happy with him and his behaviour so i went back to university .On next day he text me that you are ignoring me i said that i don't.

Next day when i was in my home he text me that i want to met you again i cant live without you if u dont then i will die etc i said that is not the way i never met you until we are in leagal relation.

After a while he send me that picture and he done full editing on it & starts blackmailing me that if you refuse to met i will send these pictures to your parents as well as your university site.

I am shocked and very depressed so I told each and everything to my mother she was so angry that why you met. My mom advice me to turn off your number and dont response him, i do the same.

Next day when i came to university i am senseless when the HOD call me to her office. He sent that pictures to my university official email adresses to all the male faculties of the university.I  dont have any word to justify myself  against that case. He spoils my reputation and my career, no one is believes in my words they just believes in that pictures, university authorities decided to cancel my degree. I am helpless and i dont know why this is happend to me, in fact i never stand in that type of characterless girl during my whole career. I know it was my mistake to trust him and he played with my innocence. I am very frustrated and fed up with my life i dont know what to do.......

meerub

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16 Responses »

  1. Salam Alaikum sister!
    May Allah help you in this time of trial.
    I would suggest you to tell everything to your parents and ask them to talk with your univesity authorities and tell them that the picture is fake and edited, and tell the university authirities that thid person is blackmailing you and that the authorities are doing exactly the same what that man wants to happen. Take you parents in confidence, they are the best persons who can help you in all of this. And never trust anyone likr this again 🙂 May Allah help you Ameen

  2. Dear sister,
    First off yes you do need to do what Ali123 said to do. I really do believe this man is crazy about you, but also emotionally unstable. He sounds like he is insecure and trying to control you as if you are already his wife. Since you didn't listen to him you were punished. I also do believe he did try to protect you when he gave you the ride to the station, so he isn't all bad. But for the picture without your permission and blackmailing you with it, was so wrong. He was trying to control you with it and then actually went through with it. You could forgive him but the trust he broke I'm not sure is forgiveable.. He will not leave you alone unless you involve someone to protect you. If he is as crazy about you as I think he is he may take drastic measures if you are not willing to forgive him and you continue to IGNORE him. Please be careful sister, you are dealing with a man that is not normal.

  3. i am suprised you didn't contacted the police, and lodge a case of harassment against him yet?

    • Lol she is in Pakistan. Even with police may not help much :p
      But still you should lodge a complaint. But even before contacting police first contact someone who has some links in police. Otherwise police will also tease you 😛

  4. first of all bring your mother to the university. okay and let your mother explain everything to the HOD or any teacher who is lenient towards you or who can easily understand that kind of situation if no then you can contact any college teacher or the teacher from your academy who can contact the HOD and have full fledge conversation with them about your character. secondly if you are studying in punjab university then tell me i am ready to help you. the teachers from my department are very co operative and understanding.
    dont you worry at all. he can do nothing. please dont contact him and never let him know that you are worried or whatever is happening to you let him give the idea that nothing has happened to you yet and you dont know about the pictures in this way he will be defeated he may think that such type of actions wont work and he will not apply it in the future to you. first its university he can also send it to your neighbours to defame you.

    it is very very necessary to give application to your local area police station the police will contact him make sure you have some evidence with you. i knw pakistani police can do nothing but i assure you the police will contact him and he will be afraid that you people can do anything further to protect yourselves.

    i am really shocked to know that the university faculty is so ignorant in this matter that they dont know if the pictures are fake what this all have to do with the university matters. i dont know what kind of institution is that. be brave and involve any elder and your mother .
    about defaming you Allah will deal with this person alone you just put your matter in Allah's hands and ask help from Allah. he will be severely punished for this he has done a major major sin. i assure you he will face the oppression he has done to himself what kind of love is this. leave him he is not able to protect you instead he has harmed you.

    • I agree this man needs to go away.I fear he will do something crazy to her if she doesn't have someone to scare him away. This man is is obviously ill.

  5. Well u did good but what about his sister your parents were in contact with her and they should speak to her about this. You should not take any action alone always and I must stress always involve ur parents in such matters. Your parents are the only people he cant scare for they will protect you and involve other relatives in such matters.

  6. OP: Next day when i came to university i am senseless when the HOD call me to her office. He sent that pictures to my university official email addresses to all the male faculties of the university.I don't have any word to justify myself against that case. He spoils my reputation and my career.

    What does the picture show? Are the both in the picture? Are you shown naked in the picture(s)? How many pictures he has?

    • Svs u still didn't get what se told us in her words. She said he took her pic with him while in CAR meant he took a selfie and used some image editing software and used her pic n made dirty n wanted to take advantage of the same but thanks to ALLAH swt she denied to go with him again as he tried with her by blackmailing.

    • Sis one more thing u had to meet him but after complaining in police n had to make a trap for him n had to go along with your parents n he could be caught red handed. Pata nhi kamine ne kitni zindagi barbad ki hongi apni is zalil harkat se. I want to death punishment of such cheapest people, they are not worth of living in this world. I hate such people who destroy life of others. May ALLAH swt punish them badly what they deserved.

  7. Sister u did very good to deny to be with him again after his texting another day to meet you, i m 100% sure he had bad intention for you n yeah the woman who talk as sister on his behalf was actually not his sister. You know " aaj kal aise kamine darinde bhediye ki shakl me insan ghum rhe hain, aise zalil logon ko sakh se sakht saza milni chahiye". I had read a story of a girl over facebook n i think she committed suicide her case was also like this but a twisted one n that guy rape her and blackmail her with some dirty pics and did the same thing again n again by blackmailing and when she denied then he send to her dad n neighbours , her dad got heart attack n died on the spot and her whole family destroyed and finally she decided to commit suicide. 🙁 May ALLAH BLESS all n forgive all n those too who committed suicide due to these cheap people.

    So my dear sis you did good by denying such person who is really worst that animal. I respect your this decision.

    Do one thing sis start praying if u don't and start wearing hijab if u dont n pray to ALLAH SWT n ask forgiveness n yeah there are many ways that doggy will accept his such dirty act i m sure. Visit yaallah.in to find some wazaif n do the same. InshaALLAH result will be in ur favour. And don't be tensed n depressed...everything will be fine n in your favour InshaALLAH swt. Dont lose hope n start namaz n prayers.

    May ALLAH swt shower his mercy over you n all muslims.Ameen

  8. As Salam O Alaikum sis

    - Most initial thing as per me, you along with your parents confine his sister and tell her about this entire incident.

    - Secondly i would like to ask you, when he clicked a pic with you, HAVE YOU YOURSELF GOT THAT SAME PIC WHICH WAS CLICKED ? If yes, then produce the same in front of your University Authorities. If you dont have it, then simply counter Question them about how can he just send across One picture if its vulgar there should have had been many which is not the case. And so it would really be a common sense even for them to think over it again. And ultimately would come to know that it was morphed.

    - Thirdly keep all his Messages as Proofs and you show them all to his sister but dont tell him that you have all his messages saved. Also show them to your university authorities his messages about blackmailing and stuff like that. Let him get himself trapped by sending you messages which you keep saved and use them against him to teach him a die hard lesson of a lifetime so that he doesnt dares to do the same with any other Girl.

    And foremost please dont panic and make him realise that you are panicked or afraid. If you do so he would misuse your that behaviour and create more issues. So be strong and brave. You havent done any blunder so why panic ? Right now you are suffering for something which is not reality but that wont stay long.

    May ALLAH (SWT) Guide you and make your path easy. Ameen . Sum Ameen !

  9. Contact the police sister. If you know where he lives then thats a bonus. May Allah make it easy for you. Remember Allah says "After difficulty comes ease". Don't associate yourself with this person anymore. (You most likely wont anyway)

  10. Dont you have a brother or father who can go to this guys house and teach him a lesson?
    guys like these give other muslim men a bad name and i think breaking an arm or two should be deterrent enough for others guys who would be having similar ideas...

    ofc it was wrong of you to meet him...but that dosent justify him taking your photo with our your consent and then showing it to the world...gosh im angry...
    anyway make dua...insha Allah it will all be ok.

    • Yes. I like that idea of a broken arm or two. Sister, one good thing did come from this situation, by meeting him you got to know what a crazy guy he is before actually marring him thank goodness. I wish you the best.

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