Islamic marriage advice and family advice

She only loved me because I love HER

Broken heart

Assalam-o-Alaikum Everyone!

I was in love with my cousin and I wanted to marry her. I was just 16 at that time, a student, and financially unstable, so I was not in a position to send a direct marriage proposal. Furthermore, I knew that her family would reject my proposal.

So I talked to her directly, I proposed to her, and she said she doesn't love me... so I assumed that maybe she likes someone else. But then I found out that she doesn't love anyone so I tried again and expressed my pure feelings to her and she agreed!

So our relationship started, we start texting each other, and everything was going good. But now, after one year of relationship, she said she doesn't love me and was just with me because I love her. She said she tried to love me but she can't. I asked her if she loves someone else and simply doesn't want to tell me about it, but she said she doesn't love anyone.

Instead, she said everything is going wrong in her life due to our relationship. She said Allah is angry with us that we both are not mahram to each other so Allah didn't like this. She said she never loved me, in fact!

I insisted to her that we will marry each other and make our love halal and will never do anything wrong, just as we hadn't up to that point. But she said she is confused about whether she really loves me or not, and wants to break things off.

I'm in love with her and the feeling of getting rejected by her is so hard. I don't know what to do, I requested her very much to love me again, to try to love me now, but she doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to talk to me.

I am so confused. Should I wait for her or try to forget her? For me to just completely move on is not possible and waiting for her is tough as it looks like she will never come around.

Please any brother or sister guide me, What should I do now?!

My whole life is disturbed, I'm not even able to focus on my work now. I don't want to hang in the middle...I want a complete solution whether she is with me or not. But I will say that it feels very bad to go away from her and hurts me every time I think of her with anyone else.






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1 Responses »

  1. Asalamualayum Brother Yousaf,

    Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you are just hanging on to wishful thinking. As you say yourself, she loved you only for how you made her feel about herself, and is not interested in sacrificing everything for a halal marriage with you.

    I suggest you realize that this is over, and that you start the grieving process....because it will never end until you do. In time, you will find someone who loves you as you love them, and want to take care of you.



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