I Feel I’m Becoming Something I’m Not
Salaam.
There have been significant events in my life within the last 3 years. I was at University studying nursing for 2 years and did not complete my degree at all. I had domestic issues with family. I went abroad to live with my father then I saw myself change in wrongful ways, particularly in arguments with another family member.
as a family we went to a sheik and there was a black spell on my mother- and whilst the sheik was reading on her she was making unbeliveable noises- never seen that in my entire life.
As I returned back to my mother house I had an unknown pregnancy without even knowing - I was told by dr I was pregnant and I told him I didn't even know. Ahlamdulilah I put this child for adoption with a muslim family- since I know the reaction and the cause of the effects of myself raising the child. I then further started studies and which I'm still undertaking.
I have gained lots of weight and become very unattractive in space of few months. I sleep badly insomnia- and people at my uni says often I look sick- My family don't see anything
I read albaqrah on my room every friday and I read ayat kursi as often I can.
However my body feels heavy my hair is falling I get zips all the time. My mouth becomes very dry.
I do know that my father sister deal with magic spells therefore I'm thinking is the spell transferring to my mom's offspring?
Because this is not normal, I cannot remember a day when I was happy and smiling and now I want to leave education again.
I am isolating myself from friends and family, I get very quickly angry with people and I don't seem to enjoy working anymore - I used to work a lot whilst I was studying.
Studying I feel each time I go to the lecture hall I'm there but my mind is swiftying too quickly.
Walahi my neck and back feels harsh and I'm disabling myself of things I can do.
I'm always afraid and starting to be paranoid
I'm thinking of leaving my family for good and education to move away and isolate myself.
I feel my body is not who I am and I feel that someone has put a spell on me.
My GP sees nothing wrong with me- A family member knows what's happened to me but she says that I'm just lazy- and not doing good enough.
Last year I had a job- and that terminated, after that I had another job and left it. I FEEL I'M BECOMING SOMETHING I AM NOT- and mentally it's harsh!
ubah
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As Salam alaykoum
I ask Allah to give you the best in this life and in the hereafter, ameen. I'm a bit confused about the pregnancy part. Were you married at one point in your life and became pregnant or you just found yourself pregnant without remembering how you got pregnant? Surat al baqarah should be read/received every 3 days (not every friday) to ward off the shayateen and the athan should be announced daily from your home.
Is it a spell or magic you say? I don't know, but I do know (and believe) that Allah has written for you to go through tests and challenges in life. This is your time to put your trust completely in Him and in Him alone. Things that you need to do on a daily basis:
Recite the evening and morning dua'a
Recite Surat ikhlas and Surat al Nass everyday along with ayat al kursi
While reciting the above two chapters, cup your hands over your mouth, gently blow into them and wipe yourself from head to to feet to ward off evil and to have protection fom Allah-3x
Be in woudhoo as much as you can. After woudhoo supplicate to Allah for His protection, guidance and repent to Him for your sins.
These are a few things that I can tell you from the top of my head. Also remember that jinn are weak. We humans are better than them due to the fact that the angels made sajdah to Adam (except iblees who became arrogant and refused to bow down to Adam ). They are scared of us and iblees's army is perpetually trying to misguide us Muslims. So don't fall into that trap by thinking they have some control over you. They don't. Only Allah is in control of this universe, our lives and the things that happen in our lives. All that is happening to you is a test of your Eman.
If you can move to a different environment and start fresh again with your studies, then do so. You need to start a new page in life. If you can go for Umra for the sake of Allah seeking His forgiveness and pleasure then that will help in this life (with your problems )and in the hereafter. If you can't do these things then became a regular at your local masjid. Surround yourself with sisters who will be of good company to you. Never isolate yourself from others. You can donate your time to help others who are need. Take Haifz al Quran al Kareem classes, too. In short become a better muslima and do EVERYTHING for the sake of Allah. Know that whatever you do for Allah and for your deen, you will get immense reward for it here and in the hereafter. Don't fear nor get scared as long as you have Allah on your side.
Thes Jinn or Sattan never interefere on our body phisically and believing that is against the Quran words.Sattan can only make us confusions lika attracting worse things better (Quran 15:39,42,14:23..)and believing in black majoc is against the Quran. .
A DNA test can identify the father of the child and please undergo the test .
Salaams,
What you are describing fit the symptoms of clinical depression. This is an illness of an organ (the brain) that anyone can suffer from at any time, just like anyone can become diabetic, have multiple sclerosis, or start to have high blood pressure.
Our minds are like tubs. The stresses of life are like water. Some people have very, very large tubs, and can take a lot of stress. Some people have tiny tubs, and get overwhelmed easily. Most of us are somewhere in the middle, and a moderate amount of stress will eventually fill up our tub. Everyone's tub is only so big, so when the tub gets filled past it's limit - it will overflow...regardless of how big or small it is.
In my view, your tub has overflowed. That causes chemical depression, meaning it upsets the chemistry of your brain. We all have four main chemicals in our brain, and the right amount of stress can cause one to stop producing enough or too much. Some people get severe anxiety when this happens, others get depressed, and others even become psychotic. It just all depends on how your brain is naturally wired- what direction it's likely to go in based on genetic and other factors.
There is no shame in getting depression. Most people have a depressive episode at least once in their life, and fortunately it is very treatable with counseling and medication. If you continue to look at things like black magic or witchcraft, I'm afraid it's only going to prolong your symptoms and have you running in meaningless circles. Instead, look for some good counseling resources where you live and begin processing some of the negative experiences you've had such as not being able to complete your degree, having to give up a baby for adoption, having some stress in your family with your mom, and being unemployed. The symptoms of paranoid thoughts, back/neck ache, wanting to isolate and low motivation can be significantly and quickly improved by beginning a regimen of antidepressants. You don't have to take them forever, just until you've regained control of your life and emotional health and have rebuilt the lifestyle and routine you had before and want again.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
The Tub theory is very impressive. Thank You Amy for enlightening us.
Sister you have the exact symptoms of sihr, what we often call clinical depression when people are not knowledgeable in detail about sihr. You can join a group called beatsihrsisters on facebook gand inshallah they can help you.
Also watch brother husnayn's videos called 'diaries of an exorcist ' on youtube.
In the meantime, start doing this DAILY without missing a day.
-eat 7 dates in the morning, followed by ruqya water mixed with honey.
-do all your prayers on time. Also do 4 rakah of duha prayer . Pray qiyam(aftr isha) or tahajjud(sets of 2 unites of prayer in last third of night in which u stand and recite Quran)
-read 1 baqarah daily plus if u can listen to 1 or 2 baqarahs daily in addition. Listening will most likely make u react because it is difficult on jinn (angry, agitated, sad, depressed, cry etc). Reading makes the person strong.
So try to do both
-when u read baqarah, after it, blow on water and drink from this water at beginning and middle and end of day.
-also blow the baqarah(or other ayahs like surah fatiha, ayah kursi, surah falaq, surah naas and baqarah:102) on olive oil and water.
-VERY important for your mental sanity: in addition to baqarah, this will give you your own mind back. Do these daily:
Surah fatiha, ayah kursi, surah falaq, surah naas, salam on prophet(Allahuma salle wa sallim ala nabiyyina muhammad), la hawla wa la quwatta illa billa, and istighfar(allahumaghfirli or any other version of it)
Set a HUGE number for yourself daily, maybe 100, maybr 200 each, whatver..yani something big. And if u can even go up to a 1000 or more that is great. Inshallah if u follow this, you will see your mind returning to normal.
-BATH daily with cold ruqya water outside the bathroom. Follow by putting olive oil all over body including scalp. And put oil on your scalp before bed. Inshallah this will make your hair stop falling. The bath and oil will improve your fatigue and anger symptoms inshallah. After putting olive oil, sometimes u may have alot of itching.
-drink some of the olive oil in morning and also evening.
-do daily your morning azkar(aft fajr) and evening Azkar( after asr) and if u miss either, still do them later. Yani if u miss fajr azkar after fajr still do them even after shurooq and if u miss doing it after asr, still do it even after mahgrib.
-do all of your before bed azkar(makedua.com) . For insomina, do the bath and oil before sleep followed by the before bed azkar. N inshallah you will fall asleep quicker.
-spray ruqya watr all over walls and corners of your home daily. Remove any music or pictures on walls from your home. Or any idols. And also put misk on your self before bed.
When you follow this program, the jinn WILL fight you back. Because now you are directly at war with them. So beware of distractions and be DETERMINED to fight. Do not take even one day off. When u fight, u will most likely have reactions but inshallah those small surahs will keep you intact alot. You will feel a big different with reading baqarah and doing those azkars. But do not leave listening. And make a schedule.
And ask ALLAH FOR A CURE ALLL THE TIME.
.
To the editors of this site Amy: my dear sister, i ask you kindly to please educate yourself about sihr and its signs in detail and talk to someone who has gotten cured from it or a raaqi. This is not hocus pocus or Allah would not mention it in the Quran and the prophet would not teach us in sunnah. We should not speak without knowledge lest we harm someone. This sister is describing sihr symptoms 100% and these symptoms always including depression. The difference is when she listens to Quran, she will have a reaction(in form of anger, or increased severe depression, extreme waswas...screaming, involuntary crying). A person without sihr will not have these reactions upon hearing Quran. Unfortunately, in the US knowledge of sihr is virtually unknown for some reason. In uk and muslim world, everyone is very knowledgeable about it and start ruqya and know about it and it symptoms.
Salaams,
I am a licensed therapist, so I've seen a lot of people with these symptoms (of depression) get treatment and go on to have productive and happy lives. Sihr would not respond to such treatment. It's not that Muslims in the US don't know about sihr, it's just that many of us don't believe it causes as many problems as other cultures do.
On this site alone, we get many posts where people are saying "I can't get a proposal- it's sihr",
"I can't find a job- it's sihr", "I feel ill/depressed/lonely- it's sihr", and on and on. These problems are faced around the world, not just in sub-continent cultures....and yet many people find relief for these problems with being proactive, hard working, and seeking professional treatment- not through ruqis or following some program promoted by a pseudo-shaykh.
So while some folks may think the US or western Muslims are uneducated or misinformed about sihr, likewise US Muslims may think that those who find sihr to be the cause of every ill to be overly superstitious and unempowered.
For me personally, I do believe in sihr but since I deal with a lot of mental illness I would only consider sihr/jinn to be a factor if one or more of the following is the case:
-the person's symptoms do not improve with conventional treatment ie: counseling, medication etc
-the person's symptoms include "supernatural" events, such as superhuman strength, powers like being able to move things with the power of the mind or being able to levitate, being able to cause fires with no burn source, and the like;
-the person seems intent on harming themselves or others and cannot be adequately stabilized by any reasonable means
-the person's symptoms do not fit discreetly into any criteria describing extreme forms of mental illness
Cases like this are actually very rare, in any part of the world. I've never personally met anyone who would fit any of the above criteria, and I've only heard of one case in the media that did which I would ascribe to sihr or jinn.
In cases where sihr is considered to be a good possibility, I believe the treatment of it should come through a qualified shaykh. Going online and watching youtube videos or putting together some type of spiritual treatment from a shaykh no one has ever heard of doesn't seem to me to be the most reliable way to approach something so serious. Personally, I don't know where you got the recommendations you posted to this sister (as far as what to recite, do with water etc) but unless you can trace them to a reputable source they may be edited out of your post.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Great answer sis Amy. Here in America people who do have problems like this particular sister don't hastily rush to the conclusion that its black magic that's causing them problems.. I find so many ppl from the sub continent blaming every problem in their life on Sihr. This type of mentality is so wrong. Just by reading the stories of the sahaba and prophet Muhammad we never see that anyone of them said Sihr was the cause of their trials and tribulations in life. It is a cultural practice of many cultures and unfortunately Muslims are using Sihr. All I can say its haram, unislamic, barbaric and it truly takes a muslim away from Allah.
Sihr, black magic, superstition are evils which prophet Muhammad, alayhi salat wasalm, came to abolish so that pure monotheism would be established . Allah is the all powerful and the all mighty, not jinn, magical powers or influences.
As-salamu Alaykum,
I would also point out that when people blame the evil eye or black magic on their ills, people become mistrustful of each other, which leads to broken relations among Muslims. In some cultures, people will not tolerate you smiling at their babies, for example, because they think you are giving them the evil eye. God forbid anything happens to the child after that...you will be blamed for causing them injury or illness! If you visit someone and something happens to the host after that, you might be the reason for the calamity. In my opinion, this is not how a healthy Muslim community behaves and thinks.
Sister as you said because you have not dealt with cases of sihr, you are not in the best position to make some of the claims you did.
It is not true that sihr victims will not respond to psychological treatment.
As for the program that is listed, there is no 'set in stone' exact treatment from Quran and sunnah but any treatment from Quran and sunnah is valid. If you read up on sihr by the people that are experts in the field, inshallah you will be able to see that the program listed above is from Quran and sunnah alone. The source of a program such as the one prescribed above is from shuyookh. Different shuyookh will prescribe different programs, based on their own research, or experience or condition of patient.
Yes you are correct many people may jump to the conclusion of sihr. But its not hocus pocus 🙂 there are clear cut signs. Reaction to ruqya distinguishes the person who is suffering from sihr.
Also its established in the shariah that one can make ruqya for oneself, making dua, azkar, and reciting or listening to Quran is all considered ruqya. And you do not need any sheikh to do this. However, in some cases, the state of the person is so bad that they greatly need someone else to recite for them.
I can understand that you think that US muslims simply dont think everything is due to sihr. I think thats partly because this issue is simply not dealt with in enough detail in any talks and your knowledge regarding sihr as a couselor on this site is evidence of this.
Your criteria that you described which would make you think someone has sihr betrays the fact that there is extreme lack of knowledge of sihr in the US and i hope Allah never shows you the hard way.
I am a victim of sihr myself. Found out after ten years. Had backaches, headaches, rashes, constant disgreements with husband, always internally finding a way to find something wrong with him, always wanted divorce but when i was apart from him id miss him so much, sudden memory loss, my face changed, my skin color changed, my skin became horrible, not like before, deep dark under eye circles, i had symptoms of bipolar in fact I thought i Was bipolar perhaps. I hated to do any kind of dhikr or sunnah prayers. Very odd coming from somoene who was very practicing and loved islam. Had nightmares, alot of waswas. We always attributed medical symptoms and oh my constant hair falling to one reason or another. Fast forward ten some years later, we end up in a muslim country. I start practicing more after staying here..and i start getting SICK. BADLY sick. Severe nightmares. Always angry and no reason. So go to a reputable raaqi and i start crying involuntarily. My husband and i are both floored. And so the jinn was discovered. And boy have i learned the lesson of my life. When a person starts a ruqya, basically yur at war with the jinn to drive them out of your body or kill them.
For someone to talk about what is or is not sihr without any detailed knowledge is deeply hurtful and insulting. Unfortunately it is SO common. Not random depression of ppl who dont practicing. I KNOW PRACTICING PPL WHO HAVE SIHR.
Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu
I also have some symptoms that you stated and know for a fact that there are 'people' who do magic on me.
"However my body feels heavy my hair is falling I get zips all the time. My mouth becomes very dry."
"I am isolating myself from friends and family, I get very quickly angry with people and I don't seem to enjoy working anymore - I used to work a lot whilst I was studying.
Studying I feel each time I go to the lecture hall I'm there but my mind is swiftying too quickly.
Walahi my neck and back feels harsh and I'm disabling myself of things I can do."