In love with A Muslim man who is engaged to another woman by force. Do I have a chance?
Forced marriage is not valid in Islam
Hi,
I am deeply in love with my Muslim Ex-Boyfriend. We both saw the same point of view in life. We talked about , me becoming Muslim for him in the past. But On August 3, his parents got him engaged with someone else. The same day he broke up with me saying he's very sorry and didn't want this to happen. He has told me he likes her but does not love her, like the way he loves me. Will there be a chance that he will Break off the Engagement? If so how?
Scar22
10 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Hi sister,
I didnt understand the post clearly.The moment you say "ex boyfriend", it means that he is now no more your boyfriend and the relationship is already broke up.I belive he broke up with you since he got engaged with some other girl.
And sister, really noone can predict if there would be chance of breaking off the engagement or not.It lies ONLY in Allah's hand.
Whatever i m going to say might hurt u.Sorry.Looks like he cheated you and he dont want to have you in his life.When he is not willing to have you in his life, how can you do something to break his engagement.He should have thought about you before getting engaged at the first place.ok.this didnt happen.Next is if he wants to marry you, now he is one who should stop / break off the engagement.Instead he comes and tell you "I just like her, not love her".What a Rubbish thing.
You should be getting angry by listening to this and I belive Allah saved you from him.Let him marry whomever he wants and let him just like her throughout his life.Forget about him. i m sure you will find more wonderful person in ur life.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Hi,
I am sorry to hear about your predicament. I know this will hurt.
Regardless of what he says about loving you, (it might be true) he obviously does not see a future with you as he is engaged to someone else. There have been cases of such things occuring where the guy stands up for the girl he loves and marries her instead. So he is obviously lacking 'courage of conviction.' I urge you not to hold out for this one as it will only cause you pain, so the sooner you emotionally let go the better. This may be a blessing in disguise which you will see with hindsight later on as marrying someone who cannot stand up for their parents causes ALOT of problems in the long term. I pray you one day see this.
Let him go and find someone who will have the guts to stand up for you and honour you. Do not prolong the seperation as this is unfair on his fiancee and will only cause you more pain in the long run. If you are genuinely interested in converting to Islam you can research without him. There are many books available and I recommend visiting your local mosque and meeting some ladies there. Time heals all wounds and you will get through this a stronger person.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
AA;
I think he needs to think about it and act on it too. If he is in love with you, it might not be fair for him to marry another just to have problems and issues and end up in divorce in a year or two. Or even maybe after they have kids. I hope he thinks good about this, and maybe you can talk with a friend in between to clarify things and see what he really wants. Do you know if his parents know about you? Maybe they will be ok and bless your marriage! I mean I know it is still happening in the US where parents control these things, but also it has been changing little by little. All in all, if someone can not take a stand for you, not sure if you want to be with that someone! I hope he was not just missing with you (not sure how far did your relationship go) Maybe he is just afraid to stand up, maybe in the next couple of days he will clear and make up his mind!
No matter what, I hope you see Islam for what it is and not for what people want you to do. Do it for the right reasons 🙂
May ALLAH bless you and grant you guidance to the right path. Hope to hear from you soon that you became a muslim 🙂
AA.
I am a british female, in love with a arabic muslim doctor who i know cares about me but always panics about going out with me alone and sometimes distances himself from me. I am always confused what he thinks of me.
shireen, please log in and write your question as a separate post. My short answer would be that you don't have a future with this guy. He's not sincere in his relationship with you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sister,
It seems like this doctor is scared of being get caught with u in front public/ friends/family/relatives. He just wants to have good time with u in secret- meaning he enjoys sinning as he is not fearing Allah (swt) but he is fearing from Allah (swt)'s creation (people).
to my understanding, u should end this relationship. U deserve someone better!!! u r precious so pls dont waste ur precious time/feelings with this coward man.
And pls pardon me if I said too much but that is what I gathered from ur msg- that he does not care about u enough to show himself with u in public. Plus, pls remind him that boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is not allowed in Islam and sister, why is he not marrying u?- unless if u r not ready then yeah that is just another story....
Wish u well.
Ur sister in Islam.
AA;
I agree with Wael. This is a separate post.
How do you know he cares for you? Maybe he is distancing himself from you because he does not want a relationship with you! Is he married?
Please clarify your issue in a separate post because more details are needed.
May Allah bless you and grant you guidance to the correct path.
AA
Salaam,
Hey i am baluchi girl really in love with this indian guy. we are in relationship more six years but during this he got engaged. as he never wanted to get engaged he broke up with his fiancee withing a month and came back to me two years back. recently i came to that his ex is unnecessarily dragging him to court and forcefully want to get marry with my man. we got married recently yet she dont want leave us alone. she is claiming to be my husband 's wife and abusing me indirectly like i m the other women.his family supports her , i dont understand which kind of Islam they are following.please suggest what to do.
Naaz
I'm in the same situation right now. I heard from him like he is not happy with the engagement... that it is not arranged... but it seems like it's an arrangement between family... and that the girl was his long time ex... I am devasted that it happened suddenly. It's like, we were just laughing and having fun together last week. Suddenly he gone quiet.
From start till now he is still saying that this will eventually come. He is not happy knowing that we will not be together again... but it is the fact. He doesn't want us to end.. but that is the fact.
Honestly I saw this coming. Since day one. But it hurts a lot anyway.
I am not expecting that he'll break his engagement. For me. Coz' knowing him to be a decent and honorable man, for sure he will not. He will never put his family in shame.
I am secretly hoping that he'll say NO anyway. That he'll come back to me. But I know that I am just feeding myself with false hope.
It's our end... and that's the ugly sad truth.
I might miss a lot of good stuff with him, I might always look back our good memories together, cry a bit once in a while, but I know that I need to move on.
I'm sad right now. But I need to help push myself to get up.
Hey hi,
I m also in a same situation we both were in a relationship from six and half yrs just bfr 2 days he got engaged he says hewas forced for dis engagement his family was knowing about me n they were k wid me n even I was ready to convert to Islam from my heart but as my family is in politics nw they have started getting afraid it seems dat they wil kill him what the bulshit they didn't remember dis before they accept n nw they finished his engagement wid some other girl my hear is completely broken he says he can't live without me but his is bit patient he worried abt dat also dat if he say no n if smthng happens to her wt to do.we really love each other n b have a very good mutual understanding also n i m sure if v marry v both wil live n lead our life happily.but knw I want I want dat engagement to b broken in any way.Can any one suggest or help me plzzzz...