Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Need lots of prayers please for me and my daughter

divorced family with child, divorce couple with baby

Salaam Alaikum

Me and and my daughter need lots of prayers and dua please I beg you, my husband of 5 years has left us for me trying to stop him from drinking and womanizing. My daughter is from my 1st marriage - this is my 2nd marriage and we don't have any children together because of his medical reasons, I'm his 3rd wife, please please please pray that he comes back to me and my daughter. I been divorced before and I just can't so it again. I have seen how people look and talk to you when you're divorced and I don't want my daughter to face any difficulties, so please pray that Allah softens his heart and makes him come back to us. It's been very hard staying at my parents house and seeing everyone upset especially now during the month of ramadan, please pray that Allah has mercy on us and save my house and my marriage please!!!!!


Jazak Allah Kheer


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11 Responses »

  1. A Salaam Alaikum,

    It's been very hard couple of weeks, my parents and I went to my house so we can sit down and talk to my husband, once we got there we found him with a black women in our bed and as I was looking around the house I found boxes of condoms and the girls belongings in my bathroom in my closet I got very angry and very upset because I know he has a bad habit of cheating drinking and gambling but never thought he would bring someone to our bed I was so upset that I couldn't even cry so then he got upset because I threw the condoms away in the trash so he said to me get out of the house now you are talaq, i dont love you or your daughter, i want to be with someone else, have my own family, you and your daughter are not my fsmily, take your f...... daughter she is not my blood she dont belong here go away from my home and my life then he went up to my daughter pointing fingers at her face and saying get out now you are not my f...... daughter not my f....... blood so she started crying and saying why is baba saying that I didn't do anything I love him alot why mama why mama, i told him why are you bei g like this its Ramadan its haram, he said please shut the f... up and dont give me this Ramadan crap! I was like wow???!!!!!!! my parents did call his parents but his mom said my son dont go after women its the women who go after him and my son is a very educated and good looking and he is very very nice guy, and I can't tell my son not to do this or that he is an adult and if I say anything he will get mad at me and stop talking to me, then she said to me if he divorced you then he still has 3 months to decide if he wants you or not just be patient and let him cool down I will talk to him, she said to my mother my son is just like his dad that's why I left him too, Muslim men are cruel and if he drinks let him drink till he dies just don't say anything to him, so then when he walked up to me he goes your talaq talaq talaq, I said trust me I don't want you any more in my life or my daughter's, so I packed my things and got out, as I was loading the boxes the apartment complex maintenance guy asked me if I needed help so I asked please then him and the management lady told me that my husband told them that he divorced me and that I'm not going back, and that girl been there since I been gone which is 3 weeks of the whole Ramadan, they said he's been having fun, so then since it was Friday I went to the masjid with my family I fou d that my husband did the same thing in the masjid that he divorced me because I scream for no reason and that he is a good husband, then I ran into his co-worker he saw me and he was shocked because my husband told him and his wife the same thing, this brother told me that my husband didn't fast the whole Ramadan didn't go to masjid, he's been drinking gambling and been hanging around too many girls at work and outside of work, he said to me I'm sorry but you're husband is a bad muslim, so then I talked to the Imam in the masjid and he said to me it's been if I just go on with my own life because this man is useless and islam gives you the right to divorce him, I know I'm a woman I know I have to be patient and I swear on Allah I have done everything I could to make him happy, he has abused me mentally physically and emotionally, during our 5 years of marriage all he did is work 1 year, I been working for 4 years and paying bills, now that he got a good job after 4 years he threw me out, but I had enough now my daughter as made me promise her that baba will never come back in our life no matter what she said she had a dream that he grabbed her and threw her out of the house, that broke my heart and I never ever want to see my daughter go threw this again 🙁

    Me and my daughter are starting our life alone all over again, I'm really scared and nervous but like my daughter says to me don't worry mama I'm here and I believe you and we can do it together again and better, please pray for me and my daughter keep us in your prayers and dua's please

  2. asalamu alaikum,

    I'm real sorry for what you been through. sadly we have men who does these filthy acts. good thing you went your separate ways. I will pray for you and your daughter Insha'Allah.. after every hardship comes ease.. put your trust in Allah..


  3. Dear sister,

    I'm really sorry to hear about what you have been through. It is so upsetting to read that he mistreated both you and your daughter who is just a child.

    You have done the right thing to leave him. Show your daughter that you are a strong Muslim woman who will not accept abuse an disgusting behaviour. Don't be scared, be hopeful. Allah swt saved you from an awful situation. This man sounds like he could have really hurt you or your daughter. He engages in haram, brings strangers to your home and does not pray. What will you gain from him? Is it not better to be without him, his problems and threats and concentrate on you and your beloved daughter? Look how brave she is mashAllah to say that she is here for you. What a strong gorgeous child!

    What people say will have no effect on you my dear sister. If they backbite and slander you it'll wash off your sins. If they talk of you in a manner displeasing to Allah swt that's on them. Don't fear people and reputations, fear Allah swt. Have hope in Allah swt, make him your ultimate Protector and Helper. Keep working for
    You and your daughter and you'll find new opportunities in life. Don't allow yourself to feel sorry for him or try to save him- let him take care of himself. He sounds like a man who is far away from Allah swt May Allah swt guide

    You are in my dua sis. You're going to have better days I know you will for sure. Be happy and find contentment in reading the quraan, making dua and being close to Allah swt. Teach your daughter Islam and show her she's number one in your life. I look forward to hearing how life has improved for you.

  4. I hope god gives you the strength to leave him inshallah you and your children deserve MUCH better wallah. Mah allah swt give you the courage and strength to leave him and fill your life with sukoon and barakah ameen

  5. All I been doing for the last 5 years is pray even harder that Allah make my husband a better person, in those 5 years this is the 1st Ramadan that he didn't fast only because he says I was gone for too long to my parents, I didn't visit my parents for 4 years because I was working and didn't have enough money to visit them and I went for 3 weeks and that's too long for him, I'm very blessed that my family and friends are with me and even the imam, I swear to Allah I tried so hard, I never asked him to do anything around the house while he didn't work only to take the trash out because it was heavy, I would work 9 hours come home cook clean do laundry while he was sitting online chatting with girls and sending them pictures of himself, I don't know why is this happening to me and my daughter I don't understand it at all, what is Allah doing I have no idea Allah knows best for sure, I know the only thing that keeps me going is my daughter Alhamdulliah she gives me hope and makes me want to work harder, please just pray for us that whatever it is its for the best for me and my daughter, today I left the town he is in and going really far, it breaks my heart in pieces but it's time to let go, all I did is wait for him to change and it's been 5 years and still no change, how come who do bad nothing happens to them but the one is doing more then they can keeps getting hurt

    • Dear sister Fatima,
      What is happening is not Allah's decision. Allah does not make bad people -- we do that to ourselves. Your husband does not wish to behave. Until now, you put up with it. You worked to support the family, then came home to cook and clean for him. These decisions were not forced upon either of you by Allah.

      But now Allah has given you the strength and intelligence to change your life, and you have decided to leave him. InshaAllah, away from this man, life will be more content, less stressful, and you can focus on your daughter.

  6. I feel so bad for you sister!!! Insallah allah open a better door for you and your daugther,you don't need a man like that, my sister husband cheating on her for over 10 years he never change so she said enough is enough she has 2 daugthers working hard she is doing so good marsallah with the help of Allah!! Sometimes life is good without a men these days is hard to find a good trusty worthy men!!!

  7. I am sorry for the pain you are going through. He don't deserve you, you was in the right to leave him. You need to put yourself and your daughter first. These days no one appreciates the good someone does for someone let alone making the marriage work. These days its true it is hard to find good people, may Allah continue to make it easier for you.

  8. Best solution throw him out of your life .Don't continue this marriage and tolerate this humiliation further .may Allah help you in future .

  9. A Salaam Alaikum,
    Yesterday was very hard, my parents helped me get an apartment so me and my daughter can start our life fresh, my friend told my past boss what my husband has done so he called me and offered me my job back, which I start very soon Alhamdulliah, then the imam and his family came over to see me and my daughter, which makes me happy that I have wonderful friends and family, but sad because I still miss him and love, he didn't even call once or even email me to see how were doing, but you can't force people to love you or even care, thank you so much for all the support, please just keep me and my daughter in your prayers

  10. Salaam Alaikum brothers and sisters

    I can't believe it's been only 3 months since I posted anything but it seems like forever. Alhamdulliah everything is going mashallah good, I have filed for divorce last month and that's after talking to the Imam in our masjid, and he still didn't respond to the divorce which I knew gonna haopen because he is scared I might ask for money but I didn't ask for anything I just want my life back with my daughter and him far away from us, I haven't cried for him him since August, I pray that Allah give me sabar and the strength to take care of my daughter and myself, couple of weeks ago my 1st husband came to visit our daughter with his parents and my daughter said mama I wish you and my daughter get married again that would be wish come true, both of my in laws still love me and wish that their son marries me again as he is still single, but like the imam said it has to come from him not his parents, after their visit when they left I cried I don't know why but I missed them all over again and I haven't felt like this for over 8 years so I was shocked at myself, is that possibe that we get back together, can I dream or imagine something like that, will Allah help me for the sake of our daughter, I will do it all over again just so my daughter can have both of her parents, can I pray for something like that, I been praying for whatever is good for my daughter and me, can this be better for me and my daughter, I have so many questions, in my head, I don't know why is this happening or what is really happening. My mind is so full of things, everyone was happy to see my 1st husband with our daughter and his parents, everyone kept telling me just pray that he takes you back with your daughter that's his blood and that's what she needs, bUT is that possible, can some chang his mind and take his 1st wife back

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