Question about marriage and conversion to Islam to become a good Muslim husband and father.
"And among His(swt) Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts
Salaam
My name is Ayesha and I would like to ask a few questions concerning myself and my daughter. I was 17 years old when I fell pregnant with my daughter and she is 3 years old and I am 21 now. Her name is Iman and we both are Muslim and would like to stay that way but her father is Christian he is my boyfriend still at this present time and we are staying with him.
My question is IF we decide to get married and he DECIDES to convert to Islam then would it be a sin to have a big wedding? Should I just get the imam to come around to my house on a Thursday night. I have asked questions and most people tell me that i should just get the Imam to come around and marry us on a Thursday night. If everything works out for me and him what other steps should he follow to become a Muslim as my parents are not that religious?
I would appreciate it a lot shukran looking forward to see what you have to say
Regards Ayesha
3 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Salaams,
I would like to caution you that your child's father becoming Muslim to marry you may not be valid if he is not becoming Muslim because he believes in the deepest part of his heart that Islam is the True Religion. If his conversion is not valid, your marriage will not be valid. Needless to say, someone must already be a Muslim BEFORE you marry them, not after.
I would suggest you postpone any marriage plans and take a step away from interacting with the child's father to see if he is sincere about choosing Islam. If he is real about it, he will be real about it without you being his girlfriend or wife. After some time has gone by to determine his sincerity, then you can talk about marriage. If you decide to marry, it doesn't matter what kind of wedding you have (big or small).
I would advise you to contact the imam, but instead of it being for a nikah, have him meet with your child's father and talk to him about what it really means to be a Muslim. If he still wants to convert, the imam can guide him on how to do so, and help mentor and teach him through the following months. The outcome of that will indicate what your next steps regarding marriage should be.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Why should she step back from the child's father? I think he can decide if islam is right for him with his gf and daughter present. Fathers play a crucial role in their childs life and if this couple is still together, there is no need for her to take his baby and "step away" simply to see if he is sincere. I like the 2nd part of your answer better, though. 🙂
Whats it with 'thursday night' though? Why must it be thursday night? Incase you think there is something in islam that says you have to (or that its better to) marry thursday night, then know its nonsense. Nikah is permitted any day of the week and none is more superior for the purpose of nikah than the other.
Pay heed to what Amy has said. She has offered you very sensible advice.
--was salaam