Personal issues
Assalamu alaikum !
I have a really big problem which i cant open to anybody soo need some help in knowing what is right and wrong !
I was in a relationship with a man for 6 yrs and also had commited sins (zina) 😞......and my parents have caught me chatting and coling him and have warned meh to stop ....but i love him alot and he also but my dad is never willing for a love marriage and he says he will select a person and i should marry that person ...
My dad is really arragont and never willing to get me married to him i have asked my dad lot of times to get me married to him and his dad and he has called my parents and asked for proposals but my dad always regected by shouting at him and his prents my dad thinks they are not financilay fit etc ...the last time my dad caught us again contacting and my dad actually was so depressed and wanted to kill himself i love my parents and dint want to make them cry because of meh and i promised them i will never my lover again but without them knowing i again contacted !
one day suddenly i got a proposal and dad made that boy come and c meh He liked meh and so my dad ....my lover told meh to tell to my parents about him and i was scared because my parants will again be hurt and i was not so able to c that in my house there was peace but if i again go and make fight my parents would cry and everything would be bad .. soo i tried avoiding this. nikah but my dad was happy and mom too soo i stayed wid them and left my lover ....for help i prayed Istigarah prayer and i saw a dream of the man who was going to do my nikkah and i thought he is the one Allah showed meh .....i feel really bad because i loved him and i feel i chaeted him ... now my nikah is over and done with the guy my parents like ... but now i started liking this person coz he is so good but i still cant let that man go out of my heart still love him and feel bad i cheated him i cntacted him aftr nikah by chating and he said i and my family will suffer but i asked him to forgive meh but he is not he still say he hates me now ! so i stopped being in cntact i want him to forgive meh and also knw what i have done is wrong ? i want a peace life my heart is soo depressed and i love him alot but Im married to another person if i had tried i would have got him ! i should have ran with my lover but my heart was not willing what do i do plz tell meh
Anzus
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Salaams Ansus
Your problem Was having an Unlawful relationship with your 'lover', which should Never have happened anyway. That was Zina but the Most Merciful and your parents saved you from that so thank Allaah swt, And your parents, and get your ex Out of your mind before you commit the greater Sin that will land you in al Naar! I can just see Shaitaan rubbing his hands in anticipation of That!
the boy was willing to marry her , he got insulted again and again by her father even her father insulted his parents so whats left and what was the emergency of going for nikkah she could have wait till her parents agreed. but ...........
in my opinion, whatever the boy is saying, cursing is normal if i were in that situation i would have done the same i would have cursed her. its so normal, you cant leave anybody like this .
Asalaamu alaykum,
i really agreed you and appreciated your respond on this.
Plz leave him and stop to connect with him .Your parents choose a guy for you so start happy life with him you should study islamic books and QURAN with translation in which describe husband wife life you can avail this and become good wife and pray 5 time a day and do sincere repent and ask forgiviness from ALLAH in this way you can leave that boy he said he hate you now then why you want to say sorry to him if you stay connect with him may b he ruin you and your family life so plz stop connect with him .You deceived your own parents to made promised for not connect with him but you broke promised you deceived your parents also plz repent sincere.Pray for me
You made a decision to marry the other man, and now you must stick with it.
Cut off all communications with your ex, and block him from all channels. You are married now and your dedication and loyalty should be towards your husband only.
Over time, you will get over your ex, and he will get over you. Don't throw away your marriage because of your past. Let it go.