Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Wife first forced, then brainwashed to divorce me

broken heart

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah.

Me and a girl were in a relationship for about 4 years.  About 3 months ago, she was being forced to marry someone else by her parents. But she refused  She used to be beaten, blackmailed. She, me and my family tried our level best to manage her parents. But, they were strict to their decision to tie her in a marriage with someone else.

At one point, she told me that she will do whatever her parents ask her to, she gave up. I was heartbroken. I made dua to Allah (swt). I prayed 5 times a day, tahajjut, salatul hajat, sadaqah. I prayed Ishtikhara twice and got positive signs that we will be together. I cried to Allah to make her to come back. I repented to Allah with tears to forgive me as we were in a haram relationship. I promised Allah not to continue this haram relation even if she comes back. I tried to make Allah happy with all my deeds.

I did not even know whether she got married or not, I prayed and prayed. Alhamdulillah, almost after 1 month, she contacted me confessing that it was not possible for her to marry someone else. I burst into tears. My LORD answered my prayer. But, both of us were determined that we would not continue any haram relationship. We decided to marry.

My family accepted our marriage. After marrying each other, my wife told her parents about our marriage. They assured us that they will accept it and they will hand over my wife in my hands if we go to their home. After going there, they told me to wait for 1 year as she had not completed her studies. I agreed. I came back to my home leaving my wife in her house. We kept contact over phone. Suddenly after about 2 days in the noon, when I called my wife her phone was switched off, her parents' phones were off too. I became anxious as I suspected that they may do some evil even after our marriage. When I went their home, none was there. All of them left. My wife could not join her classes, could not even make a call, she was room locked.

After about 7 days, I contacted her father who said, he will anyhow manage her daughter to divorce me! Even he said either he will kill her daughter or make her to divorce me. And just after 2 days of that threat, a divorce letter was sent to my home. My wife's father is powerful and we could not even go for police or court to get my wife back. Only my family and her family knew about our marriage as we did it secretly.

After facing this harsh situation, I decided to let people and friends on Facebook know about our marriage. Then her father even threatened me. I thought letting people know will refrain him from forcing my wife for a divorce. I along with my family tried hard to convince her parents. But, nothing changed. I begged Allah. I cried before Allah, I prayed tahajjut, salatul hajat, gave sadaqah, recited Quran. I made dua to Allah so that my wife don't get confused by her parents, so that she remains strict to her trust on me, so that she remains respectful to our marriage, so that she remains safe.

About 20 days went by. But, after about 21 days, she called me and said, I ruined her life, whereas it was me every time who stood besides her in difficulties. She said I ruined her life whereas it was me who used to teach her Islam. She completely misunderstood me. I do not know what she is being told by her parents. But she shouted over me for the first time in our 5 years of time. She furiously told me that she herself signed the divorce letter. She said she does not want to live with me.

But this is the same girl who left her home to marry me, who tried a lot but could not manage herself to leave me, who absorbed all the pain of beating but did not leave me. This is her. Now, she is brainwashed. She is convinced by her family that I ruined her life by letting others know about our marriage! Her family put hatred in her heart to such extend that she told the local police that she was not ready to marry, I convinced her anyway! Whereas, I even told her to pray tahajjut before the night of our marriage to ask Allah's mercy on us and our mutually decided marriage! She is now brainwashed! Over the phone, she even told that she would not care  even if I die in front of her! This is the girl who used to cry if I fell trivial sick. I do not know what just she said, what just happened to her, what is she been told!

I am helpless. I am putting my trust on Allah. I am asking Allah to get her back. She is not the known person anymore! I do not know whether she is been spelled with some magic or not! But, I am asking Allah to let her know the truth that I never even thought to make any harm to her, I am even ready to harm myself for her protection. I love her. I love my wife. I am making dua all the time to please Allah, to remove the misconceptions from my wife's mind and get back.

I want all of your duas earnestly. This divorce is kind of a forced divorce as both of us were absolutely happy with this blessed and halal relationship. O my Allah, ya Wadudu, help us, help this couple to reunite! I fear she is being spelled with magic to hate me. Help me with the solution please.


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14 Responses »

  1. Brother that is so sad I'm almost in tears by reading this i reckon your wife could be the influence of black majic I'm not sure you know but there's a thing called "kithaab"

    That mostly Asian people take out when visiting an aulim not a con man
    They ask to weight the weights of the name of both the girls and her mother and if there is any weight outstanding they will tell you if anyone has done some thing for her to act the way she is there are a lot of sorry to say
    My language HARAMI ppl out there I will make
    Dua everything goes your way indhallsh and be better

    • Assalaamualaikam

      How on earth do you weigh a name? As far as I'm aware, numerology and rituals based on names have absolutely no basis in Islam.

      Do you have any Islamic proof for this name-weighing?

      Midnightmoon editor

      • Assalam alaikum

        bro, inshallah allah only will make u a way for you. yes I doubt something called black magic is the one reason. it happened to me also 4 years of marriage and suddenly one day my wife become enemy of mine and she ruined me to court police, insult humiliated all of his family member every body insulted me like anything. I cant say here she cursed me like any thing and always asking I m praying for your death. they snatched my little 3 year son from me. and he is crying like anything my son. I tried everything finally khula happened. then one day she called said to me I really did a big mistake I told her. forget it and she asking what I did to u nothing. blaming me for everything.

        res allah knows better

    • slam to everyone,
      I am so sorry for both you. Mostly in Muslim country parents force either boy or girl to marry where they want. I have question to everyone we have knowledge how to start business which area is good for living other words which thing is good for us what is bad expect marriage I have seen many family well educated, when they have to decide about their children they don't ask to children they decide whatever they think good if we discuss such thing at home what Islam say about it. I do know you going through very difficult time my pray for you Allah make it easy for you and solve your problems. As you said you prayed and you get answered please continue your pray Inshallah you will succeed by the help of Allah. But one thing I want to share with everyone our love should be for the sake of Allah.

    • Assalamu alaikum.
      We have only a few days remaining from getting departed. Please shed the tears remembering Allah who can value your tears and reunite us. I want her to live a life following Muhammad SM and his wife ayesha RA

  2. Dear Brother
    First of all you commit a mistake to form a relation-ship with a girl and marry her without her family permission. Muslim brothers should not date, try not to be friendly nor even should communicate with such girls who are under the heavy influence of their home rules. Now this mistake cannot be corrected.

    Your only line of action should be to stand fast to your position. Do not divorce your wife. If she is under some kind of influence, do not talk unnecessary to her. She can only let you down in through talk. All woman are emotionally attached to their husband. Just wait with patience for that attachment to kick back in and do the trick for you.
    Just Above all you must keep praying for staying calm and relaxed. Try talking with her relatives. May be You will find some wise person among them that can sort out the situation. You can also offer the parents of your wife to give up the right for share in her property.

    You are fighting a game of nerves. You must keep yourself calm, cool and relaxed and keep praying with sincere heart.

    May Allah grants you success if you are indeed on the right side.

  3. Salam Brother,

    I wish you and your wife live together happily. I will recommend you, dont loose ur patience and confidence.
    Try to be cool and calm down.

  4. In our country, the divorce gets finalised after 3 months of signing even if the husband does not sign. I did not sign the paper. However, only 14 days are left. I do not know where my wife is, how she is. As she told the police absurd things, I cant even go to her home or contact any of her relatives. I did not get any sort of solution about the black magic done on her. Every alim says we need her in front of us to cure her (either by feeding her something, or by reciting Quran on her). I will be honest, sometimes I loose hope, but then again feel like NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ALLAH. Please pray for me from the core of your heart. And if any of you know about solution to her cure let me know.
    Jazakallah khairun

  5. U must go to superem court for further procedure..... There will be some rules to handle this situation....

    • Dear Brother

      I agree with going to court. Why on earth did you stay away from it so long? The parents of your wife are doing a great sin to their daughter. She is bound to be emotionally torn apart after divorce even if she is willing for it for some reason or other. I am absolutely sure that she will not be able to be a successful wife after this divorce. This fact should be the core of your argument in the court.

      Good Luck

      • Thanks for your suggestions. But, I mentioned that she is under black magic (magic of separation). She hates me like hell now. As I mentioned earlier in the post, she just said that she does not even care if I die! Allahu akbar. She used to love me so much. Her sudden change makes me believe that she is under some influence of sihr. At this moment, if I go to the courts, she will say that she wants divorce and she may even complain against me (as she hates me now). Wouldn't it be suicidal? She is saying exactly what her parents want her to say. Actually, this is the situation of December. I do not even know where she is/ what is her current condition till then. I am still hopeful that Allah knows everything. He knows everything done on her.

        • Dear Brother

          The basic advantage of going to court is that a third party will be able to mediate between you and your wife's parents in the light of logic and reason.

          You have got nothing to loose, so find a good lawyer, seek his advice and be respectful and humble of your wife and her parents in both the complain filed against divorce and also in court.

          Good Luck

  6. You dated this girl for four years without her parents knowing about it. You then married her without their permission and had a secret marriage. If they disbelieved and she had no wali then it would be one thing to consider. But basically these are muslims, she has a Wali, the Wali does not approve of you and you are marrying her anyway.

    I don't think it's black magic, she's going through hell with her family because of this outside way you married her. And 21 days is how long it takes a person to get used to a new way of life. They made her get used to living without you. They're trying to get her to be over you. I think her family could've handled this better and I think you could've been more upfront about your intentions four years ago. They would've told you no back then and you wouldn't have had this drama happen to you.

    Now I don't know what to say. One the one hand it's her choice and if there's nothing wrong with you they can see then they should approve. On the other, you should've accepted their decision and not brought the relationship to a love relationship before getting them involved.

    I hope whatever is best for both of you happens to you.

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