Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Her mother is rejecting

AOA Brothers .

I am 25 years Old and A practicing Muslim there is a girl i love most above all  she is a very religious Girl Too a Practicing. she is 22 years old we were in the same university she was my junior.

i loved her for last three years when her father died her mother called me and said please take care of my daughter as she was hostelized. i said no problem  🙂 everything was going perfect and we both feel that whatever we are doing we are doing very wrong for being in a relationship . we both want to get marry with each other .

but last year her family forced her to  get in engaged someone else and got engaged.. as i have raised the voice that she shouldn't be marrying someone else so they break the engagement after i take my parents to her home . we both are very serious in our relationship. she forced her mother to visit our home and she did and after that she said she is not accepting it by saying her heart is not satisfied .(as my parents are happy in my happiness ) <3 i love them

ALHAMDULILLAH  we have a lot of money a big house as she mention we have joint family so how her daughter will live in joint family . now she moved to different city for her further education as we both are doing Masters (both in different cities) i have approach to her very easily.  but i don't want to commit any sin so i want to marry her and her mother is becoming evil and not letting her talk to me .

and now she is abusing her and hitting her emotionally the she will find a guy and marry her  as soon as possible . as i am very angry person but i never abused her because i love her with all consent . her mother and 2 of her sisters are against me without any valid reason .

so my question is if i do NIKKAH with her without her mothers concern and will call her aunt  (her mothers sister) and take her as a guardian  and tell her i have married your niece now its your responsibility to convince your sister for both of us to look everything normal.  is it OK???? because i really love her and i know she has fulfilled my ISLAM by making me practicing Muslim.

Please I am seeking guidance I've asked imam of my masjid  and he said we are the followers of IMAM ABU HANIFA and in his light it is halal to marry a girl without concern of her  parents.(and that NIKKAH will be announced and there are going to be  witnesses too)  well i know my family will accept both of us. The thing is we both have sexual desires too and we don't want to waste anything in a HARAM way but her mother's thinking making us both crazy . (as she talked to her family they are not letting her talk to me they said they hate me and abuses me too )

What should i DO to make things better . ! I'm not letting her go or i am not leaving her in any case. And yes i can never tolerate if any guy touched her . i am very protective towards her. whenever i imagine her with someone else it breaks my heart and i feel so angry and i cry out for her that i want halal thing and not getting it. shetan as forced me many times but i fought with it but now its getting more and more i want to marry her as soon as possible.

Abdullah Rauf


Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Responses »

  1. Salam,

    I think they have a valid reason. They disagree in marrying to you because they don't want a joint family for their daughter and prefer someone that doesn't have anger issues. Your strong love won't last past two years so from her perspective this isn't a good marriage.

    I recommend that you work on your anger issues and get a separate place for yourself. I don't recommend marrying her without consent. The consent part is in the Quran so it would be better for you to convince them rather than marry forcefully.

    ***********
    https://quran.com/4/25
    And whoever among you cannot [find] the means to marry free, believing women, then [he may marry] from those whom your right hands possess of believing slave girls. And Allah is most knowing about your faith. You [believers] are of one another. So marry them with the permission of their people and give them their due compensation according to what is acceptable. [They should be] chaste, neither [of] those who commit unlawful intercourse randomly nor those who take [secret] lovers. But once they are sheltered in marriage, if they should commit adultery, then for them is half the punishment for free [unmarried] women. This [allowance] is for him among you who fears sin, but to be patient is better for you. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.
    ************

  2. Her mother is right. You do not sound like an emotionally stable guy. You also sound illogically possessive, with anger issues.
    Also your morals are questionable as getting the girl to run and marry you is so easy for you to think about. Her mother is a wise woman to understand your true nature.
    A normal minded person would wait and talk to the mother with honor and compassion. Ease her concerns. If she is not comfortable with joint family, make sure you live separately. Or tell her why living in joint family will not be a problem also.
    I have a 10 year old daughter, but when time comes inshaAllah, in such a situation I would say no too.

Leave a Response