After 10 years of relationship, I revert, he abandoned me
´
asalamualaikum
I am writing this with lot of pain, I am a girl who reverted to islam after learning it and wants to be a muslim all my life, I was in love with a muslim boy for past 10years and when the time of marriage came he asked his parents consent but they were against it and said to leave me.we tried to convince them for past two years but still they woudn´t and after long we decided to get married and got married.
Now my parents are ready to accept him but when his parents even after knowing about marriage they are not ready to accept me however he tried to convince them. He says that he cannot live with me hurting his parents and has agreed for a different marriage.
I am the one who lost everything now and is helpless. I tried to make him understand but yet he says he cannot do it. I dont wish to live with a nonmuslim man and above that i am a married girl now, what will happen to my future? i wish to live single but my parents wouldn´t allow that, I really dont know what to do now, I feel so helpless and confused, please advise me what to do.
tamanna
3 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Assalamau alaykum Sister Tamanna,
Insha Allah, Allah will show you a way if you turn to Him and say : O Allah ! I don't know what to do, help me.
Sister, the guy should take a stand, well, if he does not, then it seems to be quite immature or rather unethical behavior to marry a girl and think of leaving her instead he should fear Allah.
His parents Insha Allah would agree sooner or later if you continue this marriage. This is a test in many ways. Whatever happens, do not leave Islam.
If he leaves you by a valid divorce, keep your trust in Allah, if He can arrange for you to be created from a drop of fluid, then He made you a clot, then flesh and then bones and then shaped you and fashioned you and gave you eyes and heart and ears and made your way in to this world easy and made you grow and gave you good shape and health and provided for you from your mother womb's from that small drop of fluid to the person you are at this moment and made arrangement for you to turn to Islam, Is He not then able to make arrangement for your good married life?
34. And He giveth you of all ye ask of Him, and if ye would count the bounty of Allah ye cannot reckon it. Lo! man is verily a wrong doer, an ingrate. - Surah Ibraahiim.
Whether it be with this man or another, Allah surely will take care of your needs. Put your trust in Allah. He is the Bestower of All good. He is able to replace people by others of His will, verily He is able.
39. Nay, verily. Lo! We created them from what they know.
40. But nay! I swear by the Lord of the rising places and the setting places of the planets that We are Able
41. To replace them by (others) better than them. And We are not to be outrun. - Surah Ma'arij.
Allah is able to do all things. Sister, be patient, do not leave Islam whatsoever may come your way.
17. O my dear son! Establish worship and enjoin kindness and forbid iniquity, and persevere whatever may befall thee. Lo! that is of the steadfast heart of things. - Surah Luqmaan.
Sister, if he leaves you like this, he does not understand what you try to explain to him, then you should understand that he is not willing to continue with you and so if you can, let him go, separate from him.
Allah is the best of all who make provision. Insha Allah He will provide you with another Muslim, better than him.
Allah says in the Qur'an very clearly that if a woman fears desertion from husband, peace is not achieved in marriage, then the couple may separate from each other and Allah will compensate her out of His abundance. Insha Allah.
128. If a woman feareth ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace is better. But greed hath been made present in the minds (of men). If ye do good and keep from evil, Lo! Allah is ever Informed of what ye do.
129. Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so): But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.
130. But if they separate, Allah will compensate each out of His abundance. Allah is ever All Embracing, All Knowing. - Surah An Nisaa.
The above verses of the Qur'an have such wide application in all marital problems that it makes two points very clear:
1) The Qur'an is indeed the Word of our Creator and 2) the solution to almost all marital problems lie in these verses. I have quoted these verses extensively in my posts on this website.
There can be no better direction then the one shown by Allah Himself.
Surah 76. Ad-Dahr
1. Hath there come Upon man (ever) any period of time in which he was a thing unremembered?
2. Lo! We create man from a drop of thickened fluid to test him; so We make him hearing, knowing.
3. Lo! We have shown him the way, whether he be grateful or disbelieving. - Surah Ad Dahr.
The way of life, the Qur'an, the Straight Path, the Direction, the Path of Allah, is in front of you.
Seek guidance of Allah. Ask Him for help. Think and choose wisely what you think is best for your existence as a Muslima.
May Allah help you, ease your way and send peace of reassurance in to your heart.
Salaam,
Your brother.
Sometimes in life, things do not go our ways. We might not even be with the ones we love the must. Nothing is going to change unless you yourself talk to his parents, so you can show them you are a good Muslim and how you love their son and will always be there for him. If you try again and still nothing happens, I suggest its best you leave him because there is not much he can really do. Life is full of surprises and if he is not yours, I ‘am sure you will see the love of your life eventually.
Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.”
Sulay, your eloquent words have touched me! There is much truth in what you say, but at the same time a great deal of idealism. Surely, love doesn't always come to those who still hope! Of course, that is what we wish, and insha'Allah it will happen...but not every story has a happy ending. As you say in your opening, Sometimes in life things do not always go our ways. You can hope and pray for something your entire life, and never have it come to you....
Insha'Allah this girl will have her healing and even another happy marriage in the future.