Islamic marriage advice and family advice

The hijab makes me hate being Muslim

hijaab scarf headscarf

Salam.

I am a 21 year old girl living in a western country, I know there have been a lot of posts and discussions regarding ones deen, the hijab and family but for me its really something I have no one to talk to or to ask for advice.

Before I begin I just want to day that its not that I do not want to be a Muslim (I can't imagine not believing in Allah), but i'm not a very good one. I believe in god and believe in many of the teachings but I can't bring myself to follow them. I can't remember the last time I prayed or even touched a Quran.

I am just a (Seemingly) bright and outgoing girl but inside I struggle with something that has been ongoing since the age of around 13 - the hijab. I wore the hijab when I was 8/9 years old for no reason. I just did it for fun without knowing why or the meaning of doing so. All the girls in my family wear the hijab, my younger and older siblings... I feel like because of the hijab I just dislike Islam, I hate being Muslim, I just feel terrible all the time. It's been like this for YEARS and I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it or decide what I should do.

Here is where my problem comes in, my dad is very religious, he was abusive (now hes better but he has a few outbursts), in general he is a very scary person. I can't even imagine telling him I no longer want to wear it as I actually fear for my life as well as my mothers (he blames everything on her, and everything that goes wrong is always her fault).

I take it off occasionally when I go out and hope I don't get caught. I also truthfully dress very revealingly when I do because I just feel like I've been trapped for so long and feel the need to be extra indecent (very low-cut shirts, short skirts etc.) . I don't want to party or drink, I have never had sex and don't plan to either, but if anything i'm just struggling so very much with the hijab. I hate it with all my heart. Because of the hijab, I feel as if I am not a good Muslim. I know it sounds like an excuse but it really isn't... Like if I were able to just not have to wear that scarf on my head, maybe I would want to pray, and just be a better Muslim...

It's so bad it's gotten to a point where I just wish over and over that my dad would die JUST so I would be able to take this damn thing off.

If you ask why I don't want to wear it or for what purpose, I wouldn't be able to really answer... I just do not want to wear it. Please do not tell me that its a must and how Islam/god says that we must etc. I know. I know this but I still do not want to wear it. In the future maybe I will realize its meaning and wear it again, but for now I just despise it.

I have no idea how much longer I can take this without going insane. I need to be free of the hijab but I can't dare tell my dad. And of course since hes that religious I can't even go to school away from here or move out etc. I'm in a position where there is no winning... Do I just have to wait for him to die to be happy and at ease?

ITNW

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26 Responses »

  1. Sister, the real tragedy here has nothing to do with the hijab. You have already said that you take it off when you go outside. So I think all your talk about feeling like a prisoner to a piece of cloth is just misdirection.

    The real tragedy is that your father's abuse has caused you to lose your deen, or perhaps you never had it. You have no relationship with Allah. You grew up in a Muslim household, but you are not Muslim in any real sense of the word. That's sad, because Islam is the truth, and there is no one who can save and help us in the end except Allah the Most High.

    I advise you to move out of the house and live on your own. You are old enough to do so. If you fear your father, move out of your city and keep your location secret. Forget all these dark fantasies of your father murdering your whole family. That's not going to happen.

    Once you're on your own, there are two ways you can go. You can continue on the path you are on, dressing indecently as you said and abandoning your religion. That will inevitably lead you into further haram, and you will end up essentially losing your religion altogether. That's up to you. But remember that your father is responsible before Allah for his own actions, and you are responsible for yours. You cannot use your father's abuse as an excuse.

    The other way you could go is to try on your own to reconnect with your spirituality and with Allah. Don't worry about hijab for the moment. Focus on learning about Islam, and most of all learn your prayers and try to pray. If you can establish the prayers and fast in Ramadan, all else will fall into place, Insha'Allah. Don't think of it as rituals or following rules. Think of it as an expression of gratitude to the One who gave you life, and who provides every blessing that you enjoy in life.

    I wish you the best and I hope you find freedom AND faith hand in hand.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Where are you located exactly

  3. asalam va alykum sister

    islam is about submission to god WILLINGLY ( THERE IS NO COMPULSION IN RELIGION), and no one can force another soul to follow the way of islam . in fact if anyone do that he or she themselves will exit the circle of Islam . because god created us free and he himself gave us free will , so thats like oxygen its a right , just like oxygen if you take it away the person will die immediately, freedom is like that too .

    in fact your father by making you wear a scarf is betraying the muslims and islam . because when people whom believe but choose to not listen to their heart like you sister they take islam teaching less seriously and especially in a foreign country when none muslims look at people like you they ridicule the muslims and islam . they say how do we believe in something which your own people dont believe fully. so thats why god in quran says there is no compulsion in religion , god doesn't want pretend Muslims, coerced Muslims , he wants willing Muslim's , people whom PUT GOD first every-time no matter what .(jahad or struggle in alla's cause which is one of the main pillar of faith)

    in real islam , everybody has a choice to choose the path of righteousness or path of evil. in fact we humans by making mistakes learn to not make mistakes . so making mistake is sometime very beneficial for humans.
    so maybe explain this stuff to your father and tell him his not doing a right thing and by doing so he's putting his own faith in jeopardy , if he is a real Muslim he would listen to you . because quit frankly if you don't put head scarf for Allah what is the point, not only you don't get reward for that in here after, like you said so yourself you waste your time in this donya too.

    • The moment I ever bring up a topic like this or try to explain anything like this to him i would fear for my life.... I wish I could, I really do... but there's nothing I can do.

      • Explain it to your father as you explained it here; what it does to you and to your Islam, that you need to be a Muslim for the sake of Allaah, not for him/

  4. Wsalam Sweet Sister,
    Don't you think you are misplacing your need to rebel with removal of the hijab. I suspect that you resent the strict atmosphere of your home and wish to have some colour and fun in your life.
    You are already aware that hijab is mandatory for all adult Muslim females.
    While being a hijabi does mean being modest, nowhere does it mean being dull, drab and boring.
    You like to dress fashionably? That is your
    call as long as you follow what Islam requires of you. Go for colours you like, team them with matching scarves, use long coats, accessorise with belts, bags. Wear make up when you know you are going to be with female friends. Plan only girls’ outings. Go the extra mile in makeup and clothes when you attend weddings.
    Even the fashion industry is warming up to it with clothes being made specially for the hijabi women.

    What really worries me about your post is your resentment of your father. Sister, instead of being angry with the hijab, try and figure out what all is it that irritates you about the atmosphere at home. Identify your triggers and work to eliminate them or else change your thought process about them. What all do you want to do besides dressing well? Get objective about those issues.
    Nobody here will tell you to do away with the hijab. Nor will we tell you it is ok not to pray or recite the Quran. All these things are mandatory to being a Muslim.
    Yes, we can assure you that Islam is a way of life, not bonded labour. We need to remember that we have to answer for our deeds both in tje dunya and hereafter. Allah rewards goodness and punishes evil, though, He gives us all time-out in case we turn to repentance.
    Start with zikr, astaghfar, pray and confide your fears to Allah. Start with one prayer and gradually increase. Take a single step towards Allah, He will take multiple steps towards you as promised.
    Forgive your father for his poor choice of behaviour. That is the best that he knew to guard and correct his family. Probably that was how he was brought up too. Dont spoil your life by being a rebel for a wrong cause.

    • I agree with what you say, but to be honest, ive seen my mom for years and years pray and ask Allah for help but all that's ever gotten her was verbal and physical abuse from my dad. Its scarred me and everytime I think about it I get angry and want him to just disappear. I can't forgive him because no matter what he has never done anything in my life to make me feel like he deserves it.

  5. OP: Here is where my problem comes in, my dad is very religious, he was abusive (now hes better but he has a few outbursts), in general he is a very scary person. I can't even imagine telling him I no longer want to wear it as I actually fear for my life as well as my mothers (he blames everything on her, and everything that goes wrong is always her fault).
    I take it off occasionally when I go out and hope I don't get caught. I also truthfully dress very revealingly when I do because I just feel like I've been trapped for so long and feel the need to be extra indecent (very low-cut shirts, short skirts etc.) .....It's so bad it's gotten to a point where I just wish over and over that my dad would die JUST so I would be able to take this damn thing off.

    Sounds like your father has a mental problem. You should get married in a family where you will not be required to wear Hijab. You may start doing hijab by yourself after you have enjoyed the freedom for a while.
    No need to talk to your father or wish him death as you on occasions see the other side. Your father needs therapy.

  6. Salam ITNW,

    There is no compulsion in Islam. If you don't want to wear the hijab you don't have to. Your father loves you and will try to force this on you because he doesn't want to see you burning in hell forever, but everyone has their own free will.

    The reason to wear a hijab should be Allah and not your father. I recommend reading the Quran more so that you understand the consequences of your actions.

    When I miss out on something fun because I'm muslim and others are not, I try to remind myself of this:

    http://corpus.quran.com/translation.jsp?chapter=46&verse=20
    And the Day those who disbelieved are exposed to the Fire [it will be said], "You exhausted your pleasures during your worldly life and enjoyed them, so this Day you will be awarded the punishment of [extreme] humiliation because you were arrogant upon the earth without right and because you were defiantly disobedient."

    In case you believe that hell is temporary, it is not:
    https://quran.com/2/81
    Yes, whoever earns evil and his sin has encompassed him - those are the companions of the Fire; they will abide therein eternally.

    Once you're in you're in, there is no out. So if you are planning on disobeying Allah and not wearing the hijab please try to compensate with as many good deeds as you can. You only get this one chance to instill good or evil in yourself, there is no return afterwards.

    http://legacy.quran.com/23/99-100
    For such is the state of the disbelievers], until, when death comes to one of them, he says, "My Lord, send me back
    That I might do righteousness in that which I left behind." No! It is only a word he is saying; and behind them is a barrier until the Day they are resurrected.

  7. Salam Crazybull,

    I read the hadith you pointed out and they don't have anything to do with the hijab. Based on your answer I would say you don't believe yourself and are trying to show reasons to the poster as to why she should not believe. You're looking for posters that have weaker faith and hope that providing them some hadith will cause them to leave Islam.

    So for yourself, if you deny the Quran as from Allah and it turns out that it was, then how will you explain yourself on the day of judgement? Will you argue that the hadith you read caused you to disbelieve? Or will you argue that you listened to others and they led you to believe that Islam was wrong?

    It would be great if you could absolve yourself of all responsibility by following someone but this is what it says of those led astray by others:

    ***
    http://legacy.quran.com/40/47-48
    And [mention] when they will argue within the Fire, and the weak will say to those who had been arrogant, "Indeed, we were [only] your followers, so will you relieve us of a share of the Fire?"
    Those who had been arrogant will say, "Indeed, all [of us] are in it. Indeed, Allah has judged between the servants."
    ***

    If you argue that the hadith mislead you then it was not a book that Allah ever claimed to be from Allah. And Allah knows your inner self and knows whether you just wanted to disbelieve or whether you honestly sought the truth. So I recommend forgetting about belonging to a group and letting go of the illusion that you are self sufficient, and making sure that things work out for you:

    ***
    http://legacy.quran.com/23/99-101
    [For such is the state of the disbelievers], until, when death comes to one of them, he says, "My Lord, send me back
    That I might do righteousness in that which I left behind." No! It is only a word he is saying; and behind them is a barrier until the Day they are resurrected.
    So when the Horn is blown, no relationship will there be among them that Day, nor will they ask about one another.
    ***

    Salam.

  8. ugh, this breaks me. I don't have any advice in terms of hadith or stuff like that. I wouldn't be able to give anything like that coz it would be hypocritical. I feel the same way as you. EXACT same, it like legit creepy. yet it makes me feel better, coz now I know im not the only one. I mean I do have a Muslim friend who takes her scarf off sometimes but she only started wearing it 7 months ago, never in her life before, and wasn't raised as a Muslim. that's why I don't really count her. Before reading this I literally thought I was the only feeling this way.

    I know this isn't much help, no help at all, but im replying coz it makes me feel better. but than again, it might help you because you will know you are not the only one, like I used to think. I am grateful for being a muslim, I always turn to Allah when in trouble without realizing. but I feel like the hijab isn't for me. like you, I cant explain, but to be honest I never tell people how I feel anyway. no family member knows, and when I take it off at pe or school sometimes, people think just i'm not religious.

    In actual fact my dad is very religious. fortunately, he doesn't touch or hurt my mum, but he blames everything on her, and I know if one day I was to take it off, he would complain everyday for the rest of his life to her. Speaking of life, don't wish that your dad dies tho, just think how much he does for you, which im sure is a lot. but I used to always wish I could go into care, or imagine what life would be like if my parents were split.

    When I go out, I sometimes take it off. I feel free and much prettier without it. and not free as in drinking and partying, but I emotionally go through a lot and it helps showing my hair. and in the past year I'd say, I too wear revealing clothes when im going somewhere a little further from my home so no one from my family or my mums friends see me. not all the time tho. just twice in a blue moon, if you know what I mean. I don't have the best body and I am self conscious, as a lot of teenagers are, so I don't wear shorts, mini skirts, and I hate showing my skinny arms, but I do wear crop tops, tights, and other stuff like that. Well to be honest, I buy a lot of clothes and wear than in my room, but I have never worn them outside yet.

    I feel like this is getting too long so I will stop expressing myself, but yh. this is probably pointless to you, but it felt good to finally tell a person how I feel with a hijab (1st person). I cant tell me younger sister because I don't want her to end up like me, and my older sister would totally disagree with me. yet because of culture and a strict dad I can never move out or stay away in uni and study. so I guess im stuck? I will be 17 soon, and live in London. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you, and what country do you live in? Thanks for your time, and I hope things are good for you, Inshallah x

    • Ah, im so glad theres someone else out there. Thank you - you made me feel a little better. Luckily your father would only get mad and complain, my dad would probably kill me and my mother... probably my sibling too because hes psychotic.

      "All that hes done for you"... all hes ever done was make our lives miserable. Since as far as I can remember, I can remember him being abusive. He doesn't work or have an income which causes more problems because he takes my mothers money and makes her pay all the bills and leaves her with basically nothing. There honestly isn't a single thing he does for my family except stress us out and make us miserable. I would leave this place and run away if I didnt know for a fact he would go beserk and murder everyone. I'm not joking when I say hes done absolutely NOTHING for us and doesn't give us anything.

      Everyone hates him in my family and I pity my mom since she has to deal with his bullshit every second of every day. He doesn't even help clean or take care of anything. He'll just call my mom even at work and yell/threaten her. I hate this because I have so many dark and evil thoughts which I know is because of what he has done to us. The thought I have are not ones of a sane human and I blame him because of it.

      Sorry i ranted there for a bit, but I am 21 (turning 22 this year) and live in Canada.

  9. Salam Editors,

    I submitted 2 replies on this question w/o being published. I do not know that you have censorship in this website now. Even though, I do not understand why my reply will be banned or will cause any unrest according to your standard. Is it because of me supporting for "not" wearing hijab? I hope you understand there is a different way of presenting onself as a muslim. I personally saw and experienced depression due to being forced to wear it. In one case I saw, the result of it turns to some kind of mental illness in a teen. It is just because of being forced by wearing the hijab. If your website is only allow one voice, I am telling you that is NOT a islam way to deal with opposite opinion. I want this individual to know she can still be a muslim if she choose not to wear it. You can publish my opinion and let the others to criticize it. Your act make me doubt of your website promoting a single and narrow point of view in Islam. And this is the exact thing /dangerous thing happening in Saudi. Please think about your action.

    • Sister K, As-salamu alaykum. Your life is your own and you can do as you choose. I also am not a fan of forcing teens to wear hijab. I think it should be a conscious choice.

      However, it is equally inappropriate and misguided to discourage women from wearing hijab, and to tell them they will feel more free and comfortable without it, as if the laws of Allah are something to be discarded lightly, just because we do not like following them. You also challenged the requirement of wearing hijab, when it is clearly commanded in the Quran.

      There are many things in life that are difficult, but we do them because they are right and good for us. The voice that tells you to follow your whims and do whatever feels most comfortable or free, that is the whisper of shaytan. Often an act of righteousness - or even a simple act of good health - feels difficult and uncomfortable at first, but if we approach it with faith and sincerity, it becomes easy in time, and then we become an example and a light for others.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  10. Salaam ITNW, I do know quite a lot of girls like you. Forced to wear hijab, dress revealingly and the rest of it. Lets be honest here, I can't think of a polite way to say this but you basically just enjoy attention. It's not the hijab, religion, or anything, its you. Most western men only care about womens body's and the hijab protects them from that. Judging from how you say it you enjoy the attention, how they stare at you.

    Remember your body don't mean nothing. Think about it, is degrading yourself for a bit of attention really with it? Indeed it is your deen and inside which is what truly defines you, and makes you beautiful. Remember that sister.

  11. salam,

    first of all I'm a Chinese girl of 18 years old living in Europe, who is surrounded by amazing Muslim friends, when I had a sudden mental breakdown a few years ago, one of my good Muslim friends (who doesn't wear a headscarf) gave me a lot of support, and eventually introduced me to this wonderful religion just by telling stories without any enforcement, after that, i began doing my own research and it has been an amazing journey thus far, I first began saying alhamdulillah whenever I feel at peace and feel happy, slowly whenever I have problems I find support from Allah swt, and reading about Islam and watching videos of it has helped me as well finding peace and support.
    it almost seemed like it was planned to be.

    when I read your story it really does felt like your father gave you a bad experience with Islam, I hope that you understand that what your father is doing is absolutely not right in Islam, and he doesn't present Islam well at all, first of all there should absolutely not be enforcement in Islam, because doing it would only bring the 'believer' further from Allah swt, and performing the acts(like wearing a hijab) would become pointless, so doing it wouldn't make any difference since your intentions aren't right at first place. and him abusing(acting bad) your mother is also not right since in the koran is stated that you should treat your partner with kindness.

    step one is to talk about it with your father that following the steps like praying and wearing a hijaab is absolutely pointless when the intentions aren't there, you can find information about it that when you don't pray with the intentions to, it just doesn't count, the same goes for the hijaab, and say that you now feel forced to wear a hijab, and it almost seems impossible to love it because it feels forced.

    (ps. do it with the koran since that is the only thing yoour dad believes in, and do it as kind as possible)

    the most important part is of course that you find the connection with the real Islam and not the suppressing religion that your dad is portraying because Islam really is about finding peace and the real path and forgivement, and i really would find it unfortunate if your dad ruined it for you.

    so ask your dad for a period of time of not wearing a hijab, and promise him that you will do a lot of research about Islam, (as we all now the first thing that Allah swt has said in the koran is 'read' before you do anything, and you will wear a hijab out of yourself because it feels good) but only promise it him if you will you it (and i do hope you do, because Islam is a wonderful support for the rest of your life).

    here are some sources when you are ready for the rediscovering of islam:

    DON'T watch information from the websites that are given from this link because they are absolutely false and misleading.

    https://islamgreatreligion.wordpress.com/fake-anti-islamic-sites/

    and try to watch videos on youtube about islam if you don't feel well:

    mercifulservant
    TheProphetsPath
    dawahiseasy (highly suggest because he is reverting non muslims)

    and lastly I really do think that being born a Muslim is a blessing (not the oppressing part of course) as a Chinese girl in the western part of Europe where the hate toward Islam by the false media is increasing, my family definitely doesn't support me being a Muslim, even if I pray I have to say it quietly, wearing a head scarf would definitely not be allowed, inshallah you will find the path and connection again, try it with your own pace because doing things out of enforcement will deffinetely not do the job.

    good luck!

  12. i am 13 years old and i have been wearing hijab when i was 4 to 5 my mother wanted me to practice wearing it but i never liked it the more i grew up the more i hated hijab one day the i had a family meeting and told them that i hated to wear hijab and i want to take it off just for a month or something but my mom was making a full story why i shouldnt take it off and my father also i didnt want to upset then soo i just said i wont take it off then even though i am starting to hate it more and more each day i dont know how to take this hate away how can i love wearing hijab

    • Salam Zainab,

      your story is absolutely frustrating, it is truly a bad decision of a parent to force a hijab on a child,
      they could've guided you with good information about the religion and make you decide for yourself because in most cases where girls are forced to wear it, they will only be driven further by the religion.

      how do you fix the feeling of dislike:

      first, try to not to feel forced

      just ignore the feeling of feeling forced, try to imagine your parents have no opinion on this subject.
      this is highly important because you have to let this behind when you want to start your OWN journey to wearing the hijab without the involvement of opinions of others.

      having your own thoughts and motivation to wear it.

      you should obviously do this only for Allah swt, and try to let your parents understand this too.
      because they have done a huge mistake, you are wearing a hijab now sole and only because of them,
      and the point of wearing a hijab is to sacrifice yourself to Allah, not to obey the parent,
      this is truly ignorant because by them forcing you to do it, they actually steal your opportunity to sacrifice yourself voluntarily to Allah swt. which is the real actual point of wearing it(also protecting yourself from others)

      if they made you wear it simply because they want you to have Islam in your life, they will hopefully understand this.

      and secondly,

      try to think why millions of Muslim woman do want to wear it voluntarily and make wearing a hijab YOUR OWN decision because that will make it much more meaningful for you.

      don't only try to not hate it, try to love it.

      it might sound unfamiliar but instead of struggling to be able to not wear it, I am actually struggling to be able to wear it, because my environment(parents) is strongly against it.

      so your misfortune might be someone else's joy 😉 what you have to do is to try to find out what caused the joy of so many people.

      wearing a hijab can be quite fashionable too, try to make it fun.

      here are some hijabi bloggers

      https://www.hautehijab.com/blogs/hijab-fashion/28-most-influential-hijabi-bloggers

      and try to find your motive of wearing it, try to become a stronger Muslim.

      did you know that in the Quran there are a lot of scientific information that are discovered recently.

      and try to listen to informative videos on youtube,

      shabir ally
      nouman Ali khan
      mufti menk (funny)

      ps. although I don't agree with what your parents are doing, but I can agree that they want the best for you, only the way they are doing it isn't the most suitable. hope you won't take it to hard on them, and understand where they are coming from.

      good luck!

  13. Having read through some of the comments, I find it astounding that so many of you are questioning OP's religiosity while you have said nothing about the fact that OP describes her abusive father as a "very religious" person. How is abusive behaviour connected to religiosity something none of you had said anything about? Or against?

    OP, if your father is abusive, he can't be as religious as you claim he is. Because a religious Muslim will know that aggression and abusive behaviour is unislamic. I think the word you're looking for is strict. Your father is strict. That's not the same as being religious.

    From a human perspective, it's natural to dislike something you feel like you have no choice in. You put the hijab on at an extremely young age, and you did it without any knowledge of what the hijab is all about. I think it was a mistake on your parents' behalf to let you put the hijab on as a child and not explain to you why women wear it. It was a game to you, until you were old enough to realize hijab is a commitment.

    I'm not going to advise you on what you should do - as a non-hijab wearing woman, I feel like I'm not in a position to advise hijab-wearing women. However, I have gone through a similar experience of having felt completely disconnected to Islam. At the time, I thought I was getting disconnected to Allah because Islam sucks, but I ended up realizing I struggled with Islam because of Muslims. Because Muslims, as flawed and imperfect humanbeings, suuuuuuck. It's a beautiful idea that Muslims are a unity, brothers and sisters, one body, etc. - but reality is, Muslims are often Muslims' worst enemy. We judge each other harshly for the slightest things. We treat each other like shit. We treat our kids like shit. We impose extreme conservatism and non-Islamic traditions and values on each other and call it Islam. We misguide each other. We encourage each other to tolerate misery and unhappiness and struggles. And we tell each other that it's good to be miserable, unhappy and to struggle, because Allah will reward us for it. Which is stupid. Why would Allah reward anyone that passively does nothing to help themselves? Why do we lie to each other like this? Why do we convince each other that Allah wants us to have a hard and difficult life when we don't have to have that kind of life? Why aren't we talking about the Islamic value of being happy? Content? We only talk about how wonderful all kinds of negativity is. For the sake of being rewarded for them.

    Anyway, I distanced myself from Muslims and instantly became closer to Allah. Maybe that's what you need to do, too. I hate saying this, but I suspect your father or your family in general are the ones that are, unknowingly, encouraging a distance between yourself and Allah. Nothing is compulsory in islam, but your parents are making Islam compulsory for you. In other words, they are oppressing you. Did you know Allah hates oppressors?

    I think you should keep your hijab on - don't let your father destroy your love for Islam with his abusive and controlling ways. Keep a distance from him so that you don't feel like he's constantly controlling you and influencing your personal choices. I think when you remove the control factor out of the equation, you essentially and probably won't mind the hijab as much as you think you do. In a way, I think your hijab, in your mind, represents something else you hate: Not being able to make your own decisions. Which is understandable, anyone sane would feel bad about that.

    • < Anyway, I distanced myself from Muslims and instantly became closer to Allah >

      Have you done any survey or have any authentic survey report about percentage of Muslims/Christians/Jews/Hindus being good ,bad and worst race in this earth ?

      If you have this information then I think then you need to start distancing yourself from everybody (Muslims/Christians/Hindus/Jews)

  14. I have the same problem but im 14 all what you said is happening to me, he hardly forced me to wear it, and to adapt with it, but i hate it, every time I wear it I stat crying infinitely, rn I'm depressed as heck, thinking of away to escape from this awful house I hate them all and I hate that shitty useless hijab and I cant convince them to take it off, when I tried to tell them that im taking it off, the said then you are not going out of this house till you die, even when my family saw how much I'm affected and depressed they were sorry for me and told my parents to let me take it off, I'm really suffering, and after I was used to play and run freely, now I feel like I'm trapped into a cage called hijab, it's like, all my life stopped working, and people are saying "nothing is related to hijab, you are the one who is putting yourself in that cage" well ok, it's me, but tho, I can't control it im totally destroyed, right ow I'm thinking of three things
    1- to run away
    2- marry at the age of 18 or smth and live away from thek
    3- make money alone (I have a chance, I started courses on android apps programming, and it makes alot of money when you learn)
    mum says, do you want to go to hell, you'll go to hell if you don't wear it, it's just, then I'm the one who's going to hell not you, it's out of your business, and if I want an answer then an answer on how to convince them to take it off, not an answer to convince me to wear it, cause I'm 100% not convinced an I WILL NOT EVER be convinced

    • Salam someone,

      It is definitely your choice to burn in hell for eternity if you so please. Everyone is given this right by Allah and as much as they love you and would not wish for you to burn there they have no right to force religion on you. You should point them to the quran that there is no compulsion in religion:

      https://quran.com/2/256

      "There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion. The right course has become clear from the wrong. So whoever disbelieves in Taghut and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing."

      They should leave you alone in regards to the hijab.

  15. Sister what problem you have with hijab. In this modern world, you have so many choices for hijab. You have so many choices to wear modern hijab styles. which looks good on any girls. you can read Hijabi Fashion Bloggers . which gives you a good idea of the new style of hijab. and I hope you will like hijab.

    • It’s not about how she wears it or how much hair she covers. It’s the message she’s forced to carry when she wears it, how women lack freedom and can’t even love a beautiful thing because we’re forced to do things

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