Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am not happy in this marriage

Cold heart, emotionless, cold husband, husband doesnt care

Aoa, i am a house wife and a mother of two, and i am second wife of my husband. when i got married i didnt get time to know him.

i conceived after a month, i had mood swings like all mother do, in begining i thought i am the one who creates problem but after one kid the situation got worse. my husband compared with his first wife, he had issue with my dowry, with my mother, with engagment ring, clothes in dowry everything, he said i didnt bring luxuries with me, all girls do bring with them, he tried to poison my mind against my parents, he has no intrest in intimacy, he always degrates me n tell me i am not beautiful not educated not even rich n not a daughter of a well known man.

his mother is like his best friend, he can leave his second wife but not his mother she is always right in his books, i planned second baby to create soft corner in his heart and for out beter realtionship, but even then i am nothing in his books. he says all wives do that, its ur duty to become a mother, n never appreciates any type of efforts by me or my mother not in pregnency and after delivery, some time he cares but some time he is totally stranger.

i lived in a separate portion of accommodation, but after two years while shifting they settled me in one portion with my inlaws, i have no privacy, i cannot cook with out permision and my suggestions n gestures are not valued n my mother in laws always have issues with me even i cannot change the decor acording to me.

its geting tougher n tougher, i cannot tell everything to my parents, i am very deep in intimacy n my husband never satisfied me, not intrested in sleeping with me, he says he is tired n stressed out, i tried everything to make him happy n attractive sometimes he respond but he is always in hurry, gap is around 1 month, its me who takes step first always, i give him masage for relaxation still he never appreciates.

i am soo tired in this relationship, i look after two kids and its so tiring without love and appreciation, and i am not an average girl, i am an artist a painter and sculptor and i am 5.9 in height n was in perfect figure still not out of shape, every one around us says u r far more beter n beautiful than ur husband he dont deserves u, but i am mother of two what should i do, i dont want ti spoil there lives and i cannot live this live.

my husband do salaah and but i dont know he is in any other relation ship or not, he always keep his privacy and passwords, i tried to maintain my trust for that i never into his privacy, but i am not being loved and that is not bareable anymore, i wrote this today cx i am very upset, my husband is facing some official pb n he is not sharing, and he is being very rude with me since yesterday, he said ill give u divorce, im reaction i have seperated my room n locked in cx i dont want to give my love anymore.

bintay haha

Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

4 Responses »

  1. Salaam,

    1. Issue with your dowry, mother, engagment ring, clothes in dowry everything.
    2. Not bringing your luxuries to him.
    3. poison my mind against my parents - you need to write more about this.
    4. no interest in intimacy.
    5. Degrading you and telling you that you are not beautiful not educated not even rich n not a daughter of a well known man.
    6. leaving second wife but not his mother.

    - These problems your husband is causing clearly, clearly go against the laws of Islam and you need to tell him about that, and the next thing you'd probably hear from him is you doing some things which go against Islaam too. So, tell him that you would stop doing things which he says are against islam, he has to stop doing things which go aginst Islam too. this way you both can trade each other's sins with each other. If this doesn't work out. Write what happens and I'll solve it, Inshallah.

    7. Settling you in one portion with your in-laws, having no privacy, not able to cook without permision and your suggestions n gestures not valued n your mother in laws always have issues with you even you cannot change the decor : - you hav to compromise on this and have a lot of sabr. I know you must be trying, but you really hav to push yourself.

    8. Giving him masage for relaxation: - Don't hope for rewards for anything you do in this Dunya because Dunya will always let you down, rather hope for reward from Allah (SWT) and Inshallaah you will be rewarded.

    9. Being an artist and sculptor and looking very good: - Again, just thank Allah for this and don't expect anything from this dunya to appreciate your qualities.


  2. Hi Dear,

    ((Big Hugs)) Allah will inshallah ease your situation very soon. I have made a dua for you.


  3. Recited durood sharif and astaghfar in abundance , whenever you have time. Things will take a uturn in no time... Also,ask your hhusband to get you a separate kitchen..... and tell him straight to appreciate you, and give you more time.... intimacy is wifes basic right.. make lots of dua in tahajud... Use children to create a cosy atmosphere in home, and eventually things will improve. hope that helps

  4. your husband does nt like you. sculptor making is like idol making. get divorce before he divorce you.

Leave a Response