Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How should I deal with selfish, jealous and interfering people? And any du’a for releasing debts?


Got a Load of Problems!

Asalamualaikum wa rahmatullah I pray your all in the best of health ameen..

I'm 25 years old and i am going through soooo much stress and anxiety at the moment.
I have alot of money problems there are days when i literally have no money left for food. I am in soooo much debt.

My husband is working so hard he works 5/6 days a week from 10-8/9 pm and all the money is going on our debt. I have been looking for work for 3 years and applied for over 100 jobs and keep getting rejected!

I recently was told by a family friend who knew someone who was willing to take me on (Muslim) and when i went to visit him (asian clothes shop) for my interview before even looking at my CV he just took my number rang my friend and said " she's not a working type of girl ' I was like 'what'??? and the reason behind that, because i wear a hijab and abaya......

I was literally shocked because the worst thing is that this person was a muslim. Now the stress has got so bad it's affecting me physically.

I have people ringing me for my debt left, right, and centre stressing me. Alhamdulillah before anyone says trust Allah i do Trust Allah! I try my best to do the morning and night adkhar, read dua debts and i know In shaa ALLAH, Allah will relieve me from my debts. (pleases make dua for me)

I just pray that there is someone out there who is willing to give me a chance to work so that i can pay my debt and get rid of this stress because of all the stress i got anxiety and because of the anxiety i feel like i'm going in to depression.

My Friends all don't practice, so i don't really speak to them much because the stuff they do, i don't and i do try to talk to them about islam but they just don't listen. I have an elder sister who prays but at the same time has bad company.

I don't listen to music or watch tv as when i did have a TV it was like a 3rd person in my house and i didn't like the feeling. It pulls me away from my deen. I'd rather choose deen over dunya.

Also i have tried my best to interact with sisters who are practicing but Subhan Allah their all busy with their husbands and children they have no time for me. ( I myself have no children)

When i go to my parents house all they do is talk about the past and family problems you see me and my elder sister are married in one house our husbands are brothers. However my elder sister has got a divorce and all my family family have fallen out with my inlaws so i'm basically stuck in the middle of all the headache and so is my husband.

We didn't let the divorce affect us because it always takes 2 to tangle. When me and my husband have arguments we don't let it go out the house meaning i don't run to family members and neither does he we just sit, talk and problem solved. Give us a hour we be fine lol...

But my sisters and brother run to my family and get the parents involved bla bla bla and that's why their all divorced. Mind you brother still married to convert but they both don't practice and their too in love with the dunya and think we'r some low lifes. Oh yeh and when i do try talking to them about islam they call me and my sis "preachers".. How should i respond to that?

For instance My sister in law and brother were at my parents and me and my sister were talking about zakat. My sister-in-law interferes with a smurk saying well what if you have £50,000 cash how much zakah do you pay then, literally taking the micky out of me and my sis because they know we don't have that kind of money.

I just kept silent and my sister answered them.
My brother 34, sis-in-law 30, both sister 32 and 33 i am the the youngest 25 i have a younger sibling but is in own world.

It's just i tend not to come and go to my brothers because all they do is boast and show off... and the worst thing is that when they found out that i was pregnant (after 7 years of marriage) they didn't speak to me for 3months! they didn't even go to my parents house for 3 months up until they heard i had miscarriage hence 3 months! they didn't speak or come and go! and then they turned up but i still made the effort of talking to them. I still have that anger and hatred towards them. How can you be so mean to someone when you yourself have children and whom i care for.

When she had a first baby (with my brother) and second i went there bearing gifts and i use to go all out balloons, gifts and i mean expensive but yet when they first found out that i was pregnant the first thing she said was "is she going for an internal check up" who says that! you only go for an internal if there something wrong with the baby!

And that was my first midwife appointment!
And yes 3 months later i did have to have and Internal check up because they couldn't hear or see the fetus. Yes i was upset but what got me through is "TO ALLAH WE BELONG AND TO HIM SHALL WE RETURN"... and only recently did i hear from a friend that my sister-in-law sat in a group of people only saying that I'M gonna find it hard the next time i get pregnant.

It brings me to tears everytime i think. How can you be so mean? These people don't know me, i don't know them i just turned around to my friend and said look in future if she ever says anything about me pleases don't tell me coz all i wanna do is knock her teeth out and i'm much wiser and better than that!

Alhamdulillah Allah has made me a much more stronger person than that. Then she starts saying she never comes out of her house?
I haven't seen the girl since last ramadhan because my family had a fall out because she was complaining that my sisters kids are always at my mothers! them 2 boys age (4 and 6) don't have no one! just my mum,dad and my brothers and sisters and their own mother. But my family still doesn't treat nephews better than others we keep them all equal....

how would you respond to these type of people especially if their in your family.

My brother talks to my mother like she's his younger sister. He disrespects my father all in front of my sister-in-law.

Thats the reason why she's like that to. when she's friends with us she wheres hijab and abaya and when she's not she walks around with tight fitting jeans and hair open i don't understand???
I don't know how to interact i keep praying to Allah so In shaa Allah he guides them. Is it ok for me to just give salam and that's it and keep my distant?

any tips and ideas on what i can do to reduce my stress and anxiety?

I have a lack of energy due to hypothyroidism.
please make dua for me and my family that Allah removes worry, anxiety, stress and debts ameen xxx

- muslimsister1433

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30 Responses »

  1. Assalamu'alaikum,

    Sister, what you exactly need is PATIENCE. I suppose you trust in Allah. When I say "trust in Allah", I mean that a hundred rejections do not put you down. In fact, you must smile for the rejections. 🙂

    If you don't know what I am saying, I am referring to this: " and the reason behind that, because i wear a hijab and abaya."

    If you have patience over this, in sha Allah, you will be rewarded. Have this hope and move ahead. Ask for Allah's Pleasure in return for patience. If He Is Pleased, the entire world can do nothing even to your single hair.

    And sister, with regard to this, I have a suggestion. Do not go for a job where you will have to be amidst non Mahram men. If nothing works out, you can also do a professional job such as designing dresses and so on. But do bot worry, whatever be it, your final destination is the Aakhirah.

    Debts is a serious issue. You must pay all your debts before you die, to avoid paying them in the Aakhirah in Allah's Court (but NEVER EVER indulge in riba', that may destroy your Aakhirah).
    There is a du'a for releasing debt:

    ﺍﻟﻠَّﻬُﻢَّ ﺍﻛْﻔِﻨِﻲ ﺑِﺤَﻠَﺎﻟِﻚَ ﻋَﻦْ ﺣَﺮَﺍﻣِﻚَ ﻭَﺃَﻏْﻨِﻨِﻲ
    ﺑِﻔَﻀْﻠِﻚَ ﻋَﻤَّﻦْ ﺳِﻮَﺍﻙْ
    (Allahummakfini bi Halaalika 'an Haraamik. Waghnini bi Fadhlika 'Amman siwaak)
    "O Allah, save me from haraam and make the
    halaal sufficient and by your boon/favour
    make me independent from others".

    ﺍﻟﻠَّﻬُﻢَّ ﺇِﻧِّﻲ ﺃَﻋُﻮﺫُ ﺑِﻚَ ﻣِﻦَ ﺍﻟْﻬَﻢِّ ﻭَﺍﻟْﺤَﺰَﻥِ ﻭَﺃَﻋُﻮﺫُ
    ﺑِﻚَ ﻣِﻦَ ﺍﻟْﻌَﺠْﺰِ ﻭَﺍﻟْﻜَﺴَﻞِ ﻭَﺃَﻋُﻮﺫُ ﺑِﻚَ ﻣِﻦَ ﺍﻟْﺒُﺨْﻞِ
    ﻭَﺍﻟْﺠُﺒْﻦِ ﻭَﺃَﻋُﻮﺫُ ﺑِﻚَ ﻣِﻦَ ﻏَﻠَﺒَﺔِ ﺍﻟﺪَّﻳْﻦِ ﻭَﻗَﻬْﺮِ
    (Allahumma inni A'oodhubika min al Hammi wal Huzni wa A'oodhu bika min al 'Ajzi wal Kasli wa A'oodhubika min al Bakhli wal Jubni wa A'oodhubika min Ghalabatid dayni wa Qahrir Rijaal)
    "O Allah I seek refuge in You from worry
    and grief, I seek refuge in You from
    hopelessness and laziness, I seek refuge in
    You from miserliness and cowardice and I
    seek refuge in You from overwhelming debt
    and from the force of men".

    You said: " I don't listen to music or watch tv as when i did have a TV it was like a 3rd person in my house and i didn't like the feeling. It pulls me away from my deen. I'd rather choose deen over dunya."

    Subhanallah! If only all our women had such an attitude. Sister, tests come from Allah based on the level of your Imaan. Higher the Imaan, difficult it is. Lower the Imaan, easier it is. So, have patience and genuinely trust in Allah, do not let depression overtake this trust.

    You said: " We didn't let the divorce affect us because it always takes 2 to tangle. When me and my husband have arguments we don't let it go out the house meaning i don't run to family members and neither does he we just sit, talk and problem solved. Give us a hour we be fine lol..."

    This is how it works. Every couple has some or the other differences. They should never let it go beyond limits.

    The response to them calling you preachers is patience and the following Aayah:

    (يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ)
    O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.

    You said: "My sister-in-law interferes with a smurk saying well what if you have £50,000 cash how much zakah do you pay then, literally taking the micky out of me and my sis"

    For this, the response should be: "I think you are smart enough to calculate Zakah on your money (smile)".

    Concernig your miscarriage, please ignore those who are jealous and trust in your Lord. And remember this beautiful Hadith from Tirmidhi (Shaikh Albani classed it as Hasan):

    Abu Sinân said: ``I buried my son Sinân and Abu Talhah Al-Khawlâni was sitting on the rim of the grave. When I wanted to leave he took me by my hand and said: `Shall I not inform you of some good news O Abu Sinân!' I said: `Of course.' He said: `Ad-Dahhâk bin `Abdur-Rahmân bin `Arzab narrated to me, from Abu Musâ Al-Ash`ari: ``The Messenger of Allâh ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ said: `When a child of the slave (of Allâh) dies, Allâh says to the angels: ``Have you taken My slave's child?'' They reply: ``Yes.'' He says: ``Have you taken the fruits of his work.'' They reply: ``Yes.'' So He says: ``What did My slave say?'' They reply: ``He praised you and mentioned that to You is the return.'' So Allâh says: ``Build a house in Paradise for My slave, and name it `the house of praise.''

    What can be a better reward? Subhanallah!

    You said: " Thats the reason why she's like that to. when she's friends with us she wheres hijab and abaya and when she's not she walks around with tight fitting jeans and hair open i don't understand???"

    Does she do that for you? or for Allah? When she is friends with you, remind her that her hijab is for Allah. Remind her of the Aakhirah.

    May Allah Give you strength and loads of patience, and success in both the worlds.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

    • Brother,

      Whilst on the topic is it a sin for women and men to work together? As in the west everything is mixed there is no segregation between the sexes. Secondly islamically men are the breadwinner but they work alongside many women or deal with female customers etc?

      Some women are single parent and have to provide for their children by themselves with no husband. It is very hard to find a job let alone a female only envitonment job.

      • I was also wondering the same thing. I received a notification about a comment by br. Wael, but then was unable to find it.

        Can someone shed some light on this topic? JazakAllah.

      • The answer to this is that it is haraam for women to work in places where there will be Ikhtilaat (intermingling of sexes), in general.

        It is the duty of a man to work and take care of his family. A woman is not required to work according to Islam. A woman may work in an environment that is free from Ikhtilaat. In fact, in most cases, women working with men causes fitnah for both of them. Islam addresses the root cause instead of the result. For example, Allah Said in Quran: do not come near Zina. He did not Say: do not do Zina.

        There are many evidences forbidding Ikhtilaat and it is haraam. A woman may look for sources of income from other than such places or even work from home. If nothing else is possible, the woman concerned should approach a qualified mufti to seek a fatwa on whether she is allowed to work in a place of Ikhtilaat.

        It is sadly impossible for men to find a place without Ikhtilaat. We can atleast advise our Muslim women to let these places alone and look elsewhere to avoid increasing the already caused fitnah and men to have patience in the fitnah caused. If one trusts in Allah, He provides from unimaginable sources. He Says:

        And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent. (Surah at Talaq)

        And Allah Knows Best

        Abu Abdul Bari Editor

        • Assalamu Alaikum,
          I hope everyone is fine by the grace of Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala.
          I had just gone through your answer and now I am wondering whether or not I am working in a place of Ikhtilaat?? I just want to clear my doubts and want to give a brief understanding of the environment I am working.
          I am a Hijabi Muslimah and work in a place where all my colleagues are Muslim, I do talk to my colleagues, non mahram men but that is entirely related to work or any issue, I never do chit chatting and cracking useless jokes and laughing with them. Since I do hijab my male colleagues also do not talk so freely with me. And yes I do travel alone to my office which is like 45 mins from my place.
          Apart from this since I have to offer prayers in my office, many a times I have to offer it in front of my senior (male) as their is no other place available. Although I dnt feel much comfortable, but then I cannot skip my prayers because of that. Is their anything wrong in all this...
          Please help me clear my doubts. I am still on my road to learn more about my religion.
          May Allah Grants HIS mercy and forgive all our sins. Ameen!!

          Jazak Allah Khair 🙂

        • assalamalaikum-Abu Abdul Bari.....
          YOU ONLY SAY.
          The answer to this is that it is haraam for women to work in places where there will be Ikhtilaat (intermingling of sexes), in general.
          AND YOU ONLY DEFY-
          the woman concerned should approach a qualified muft..i to seek a fatwa on whether she is allowed to work in a place- of Ikhtilaat.
          AND ALLAH SAYS-
          It is not befitting for a believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Apostle, to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Apostle, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path. (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:36)



          • Without any doubts, none has the right to interfere in matters decreed by Allah.

            Perhaps I did not make myself clear here. I did not defy what I said. But said that if there was a specific excuse possible, a scholar should be consulted. I am talking about a situation when a woman is left alone in the society, having no option but to earn for herself and has no skill to work from home and has no halal environment to work in. Otherwise, in general, such an arrangement is not acceptable.

            I hope I am clear now.

            Abu Abdul Bari

        • ????? where is the answer to my query...m I sounding illiterate by asking this question ?? 🙁
          I guess if you can comment on each other claims then it would be appreciable to help someone else's clear her doubts..sad but many times I am left unanswered here on this page. No complains..may be Allah wants me to find all the answers by myself 🙂
          Anyways this website is of great help. 🙂
          May Allah grants HIS blessings on all of us. Ameen 🙂

          • Wa Alaikum as Salam sister,

            I am sorry, I did not notice your comment.

            I can not answer your query in "it is haraam" or "it is halaal" because I have not seen it and I fear Allah lest I should make something halaal - haraam and deprive His Servants of His Bounties, or I should call something haraam - halaal.

            Ikhtilaat means that men and women work together, interact unnecessarily, crowding together, etc. In simple terms, it is the intermingling of men and women. This is haraam due to the fitnah that it carries. Whether or not your work environment falls under this, I do not know.

            But I can suggest you to look for a place which would involve no exposure to males. You maybe sincere, but male employees who see you everyday may fall into a fitnah. Because Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said to men: “ I have not left behind a fitnah more harmful upon the men than women . ” (Bukhari and Muslim)

            He said in another hadith to women: “ You should be on the outer borders of the path .” (mentioned by ibn Qayyim) so that they do not mix with men walking in the middle.

            It is very difficult, I know. But men and women, both must remember this hadith: “ When the woman goes out the Shaytaan accompanies her. ” (Declared authentic by Shaikh Albani). May Allah Keep us safe and upon the correct path.

            Abu Abdul Bari

          • Jazak Allah Khair Brother for answering.
            As Brother Wael pointed out, I guess we should discuss this on a different forum as I still have many queries and apprehensions in my head. I will post this as a different question.
            I will pray that the sister who posted the question may come out of her problems successfully. Many a times I also have faced comments from my relatives on wearing Abaya and doing Hijab especially when I go to weddings etc where every gal is decorated but one should remember something done to please Allah by following his commands can never harm, though we can be put to trials. And when I am going through any serious problem, I think maybe Allah is testing, and then I feel happy because I consider myself lucky to be tested by Allah.
            Please don't get disheartened and pray and hard. Things will be good. In Sha Allah.

        • Assalam alaikum brother,

          According to what was previously posted, it was stated it is not haram as long as we "observe rules of modesty." Is this true or not?

          It seems virtually impossible than to work because even Islamic schools have mixing.

          A woman would want to see a female doctor, but doctors' offices are mixed. Is it not justified for a woman to work (even if there is no need) for such professions? As a woman, I would want to see a female doctor--no matter what country I lived in. How would that be possible if she couldn't go to work because of mixing?

          Often there is demand for female teachers for higher level education and one-on-one tutoring, but that wouldn't be possible if a female didn't go to university (where there is mixing.) It seems like an impossible task.

          So even if there are women who have to work out necessity (single mothers, husbands who have lost their job or wont work, etc), also there is a societal need in a Muslim community for women to work and have the mental/physical capacity to do so. How do we address this?

          This is very concerning. May Allah guide us.

          • This topic of mixing of the sexes is off the topic of this post. If someone wants to submit this as a separate post, we can address it that way Insha'Allah.


    asian clothes shop WHICH CITY???????





    • Assalaamualaikam

      I would dispute your assertion that depression is for people with weak iman. Depression is a complex illness which is just as real and significant as other medical conditions such as lung disease, heart disease. There are measurable physical signs of illness, and a substantial risk of disability and even death.

      The stigma attached to mental illness, and statements such as "depression is for the weak", can lead to people hiding their illness and not seeking help. We would not tell someone that their heart problem is due to weak faith, so should not tell them that this is why they are suffering from a mental health problem.

      On the contrary, many Muslims with mental health problems have very strong iman. It is easy to believe when things are going well, but it takes strength to say Alhamdulillah when life is hard.

      Midnightmoon editor

  3. wish i could help you for the sake of AllahSWT but i am a young man:( i will do dua for you!please read SURAH WAQIAH every night and do dua to AllahSWT to give more rizq and please recite Astagfirullah 100 times daily.

    and for the people who make fun of your trial,do 2 rakat nafl salah and say to AllahSWT,your creatures are laughing at the trial you gave to me which is making me get angry,please help me by teaching them a lesson so that they dont make fun again at another believer's trial.

    believe me,Insha'Allah you'll see soon miracles.

    i did it,when people made fun of my trials,sadly i had complained much then i thought this is a trial so lets tell AllahSWT,he will take care of us.

    • Assalamu'alaikum,

      Brother I would appreciate if you give me the proof for reciting Surah Waqi'ah every night. Instead, there are Ahaadeeth about reciting Surah Sajah and Surah Mulk every night.

      Also, what is the prayer you are referring to? I don't think there is any such prayer. Yes there is a du'a against enemies if we fear their evil:

      ﺍﻟﻠَّﻬُﻢَّ ﺇِﻧَّﺎ ﻧَﺠْﻌَﻠُﻚَ ﻓِﻲ ﻧُﺤُﻮﺭِﻫِﻢْ ﻭَﻧَﻌُﻮﺫُ ﺑِﻚَ ﻣِﻦْ
      (Allahumma inna Naj'aluka fee Nuhoorihim, wa Na'oodhubika min Shuroorihim)
      "O Allah, we make you the turner of the
      (enemies) chest (heart) and seek refuge in
      You from their evils".

      And there is a du'a for going out of the house:

      ﺍﻟﻠَّﻬُﻢَّ ﺇِﻧِّﻲ ﺃَﻋُﻮﺫُ ﺑِﻚَ ﺃَﻥْ ﺃَﺿِﻞَّ ﺃَﻭْ ﺃُﺿَّﻞَّ ﺃَﻭْ
      ﺃَﻇْﻠِﻢَ ﺃَﻭْ ﺃُﻇْﻠَﻢَ ﺃَﻭْ ﺃَﺟْﻬَﻞَ ﺃَﻭْ ﻳُﺠْﻬَﻞَ ﻋَﻠَﻰَّ
      (Allahumma inni A'oodhubika an Adhilla au Udhalla au Adhlima au Udhlama au Ajhala au Yujhala 'Alayya)
      "O Allah, I seek refuge in You from
      misleading or being misled or oppressing or
      being oppressed or from being ignorant or
      bearing the result of ignorance".

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

      • The ProphetSAW said, ‘Whoever recites surah al Waqiah at night would never encounter poverty’ [Ibn Sunni 620]

        JazakAllahu khayran for your reply and for giving info.

        • I'm sure the people in poverty stricken muslim communities would love to refute this hadith. Oh its a weak hadith anyways.

          • DEAR SIR,
            ALI YOUSUUF

  4. As salamu alaykum,

    I am sorry for your miscarriage and I am sorry for all the problems you are facing.

    Hypothyroidism is a physical condition that in certain cases need medical treatment, I suppose you have been diagnosed with it and listening to your symptoms (anxiety,....) you are suffering from it at this moment.

    The medical treatment must be given by a doctor and it will consist on taking artificial hormone to balance your hormonal production, this must be done by a doctor that will advice you the right amount of hormone depending on your actual condition; to know this, you will have to have done a blood test to know for sure the levels you have of the hormone in your blood. Hypothyroidism will make you feel tired, stressed, anxious, nervous, ....and have other kind of physical consequences too.

    Sometimes can be developed after pregnancy, due to all the hormonal changes suffered by the body, and it can be balance by itself(this must be valorated by a doctor) eating well, resting, doing breathing and relaxing exercises, walking and, little by little, all this small steps insha´Allah will help you to live life more peacefully and even when family, problems, and all that disturbs you will stay the same, you won´t be the same and this will help you to overcome the obstacles that now you are facing.

    Despite your actual physical condition, you have a very balanced Heart and you know what you want and how can be gotten. Right now, I wouldn´t worry about working outside, if a job appears and you want to do it, go for it, if not let it go. Your first priority now it is to recover your health balancing your thyroids, if you need a medical treatment keep taking an eye on your diet, your exercising and please, look for something that makes you happy from Heart, this will be the best medicine and at the same time, insha´Allah, it will attracts towards you Harmony, Peace and a big smile in your Heart.

    Related to family, let them be, be the mirrow where they can look at themselves, be transparent and shine, be ready if they need you, be kind and peaceful, that is the only way. We have to offer what we want to receive.

    In this world, we have people that help us in a big degree to be better human beings, your sister in law is one of them, please take the lesson and forgive her from Heart, if you cannot do it, ask Allah subhana wa tala to help you, but please try, Forgiveness is the door that will open your Heart to Inner Peace and nobody in this world deserves that we keep that door closed, if we can avoid it.

    Debts, ...this is a big test. I have a very personal opinion about this, I hope you don´t mind I share it with you, you are married, your husband is working hard to pay for it, now you are shaking a bit due to your physical condition but you have a strong Heart, Masha´Allah, then insha´Allah, getting stronger, you will nurture your husband spiritually and emotionally, you will give him the endurance and the capability to pay for your debts, I don´t know the middle steps how this happens but I have seen it many times how a couple in Harmony can overcome the most difficult obstacles and in this cases, the woman was at home caring by the family. This doesn´t disminish when the woman goes out to work, different cases, just in your case you have received many signs to stop looking for working outside right now, seems to me listening to you that your work is from inside yourself. Forgiveness, unconditional Love, ....I think it deserves a try while nothing else comes to you.

    When we say "Trust God", it is easy to say, but there is a inner feeling when we have that "Trust", a inner feeling that gives us security about the steps we should take to keep moving in the right direction, someway "we know", you are very young and you have it, when you begin to learn about relaxation(breath consciously, being consciously), insha´Allah, it will be easier for you to keep in contact with that inner security and the process of healing will be faster.

    Take a look to Islamic, there you can find interesting articles that may help you and specially one about relaxation.

    Allah subhana wa tala knows best.

    A big smile from Heart to you.


  5. Assalamu alaikum sister..
    i dont really know what kind of work u r capable of but I would recommend working online like at where u can work from home.. maybe atleast a little data entry kind of work will suit u I guess..
    I am talkin to u not knowing what u r capable of so please do go that website and try searching for jobs that wud suit u.. Its reliable..

    Sister, I would recommend you focusing on financial matters now and not pondering over other stuff, when u hav a goal in mind and work towards it the worries seem to fade away taking depression along with them.. when u think of ur not being able to have a baby, go through Prophet Ibrahim's story.. You can bear beat it with dua of course.. Allah is with you..

    Allah bless u sister.. Aameen..

  6. Assalam alaikum,

    Your rizq is in the hands of Allah. Do not let the ones you taunt you bring you down.

    Depending on your and your husband's education/qualtifications, you could consider tutoring students. There is always a demand for this. You could offer the services at home or even in a public library. You could tutor more than one student at a time and offer a lower rate per student, but still make a good income. Think of the skills you have and use them.

    May Allah ease your difficulties. Ameen.

  7. As-salamu alaykum sister. Brother Abu Abdul Bari has given you some excellent dua' against debt. You can also see this post on

    Dua Against Debt

    Are you paying a lot of interest or fees on your debt? If so, maybe you can get a loan from a family member to pay off the debt, then you can make monthly payments to your family member without interest.

    Be careful not to accumulate further debt. Do not use credit cards for purchases, use cash. If you don't have the cash, don't buy it. Look for any way you can reduce your expenses. I know these are all obvious statements, but they bear repeating.

    As far as getting a job, have you considered starting a business from home? For example, sewing clothes, making natural soap, baking pies or making specialty cakes to order, or wherever your interests and talents lie.

    May Allah relieve your difficulties.

    Wael Editor

  8. I was also like in your shoe sister. But alhumdullilah we are not in that large debt and my husband do a very good job the problem is me. I do hijab for that I couldn't get any good job in office or shops as I live in australia. Then I learn how to make sweets and there are many Indianand Lebanon shops who take order from home made sweets. So I took step to try it. In the weekend by husband drive me to shops and I gave sample and they loved it it took me 6months to establish by the Allah's help now I am contracted with three shops and alhumdullilah I am earning monthly $2000 to $3000 which goes to our saving accounts backup.

    Take like this alternate step first to support you a little bitten by side look for suitable job. Start with small and inshallah you will reach your goal.

  9. Dearest sis,
    I have experienced poverty before. My husband was earning only $1500 per month and we have 2 children. I stopped work to look after the children, so money was a problem for both of us. I tried borrowing from family so that we could buy a house of our own but none was willing to help. One sister has $50 000 in her fixed deposit account and I just wanted to borrow $20 000 as downpayment for my house but she replied by saying, "Oh no! We don't want to take it out of our fixed deposit account." Can you imagine such selfishness and she's my blood relations. Others just said they don't have money although they do.

    I believe these 3 things help me overcome my poverty. You might want to try them.
    1) I read a hadith in which Rasulullah s.a.w. said "A house with vinegar will never suffer from poverty". I followed the advice and always have vinegar in my house and I use it in my food like salads.

    2) I also recite the zikr that brother Abu Abdul Bari mentioned (see below).
    Brother Abu Abdul Bari gave a good zikr - do it every morning after fajr and asr.

    ﺑِﻚَ ﻣِﻦَ ﺍﻟْﻌَﺠْﺰِ ﻭَﺍﻟْﻜَﺴَﻞِ ﻭَﺃَﻋُﻮﺫُ ﺑِﻚَ ﻣِﻦَ ﺍﻟْﺒُﺨْﻞِ
    ﻭَﺍﻟْﺠُﺒْﻦِ ﻭَﺃَﻋُﻮﺫُ ﺑِﻚَ ﻣِﻦَ ﻏَﻠَﺒَﺔِ ﺍﻟﺪَّﻳْﻦِ ﻭَﻗَﻬْﺮِ
    (Allahumma inni A'oodhubika min al Hammi wal Huzni wa A'oodhu bika min al 'Ajzi wal Kasli wa A'oodhubika min al Bakhli wal Jubni wa A'oodhubika min Ghalabatid dayni wa Qahrir Rijaal)
    "O Allah I seek refuge in You from worry
    and grief, I seek refuge in You from
    hopelessness and laziness, I seek refuge in
    You from miserliness and cowardice and I
    seek refuge in You from overwhelming debt
    and from the force of men".

    3) There is another hadis which mentioned a man came to rasulullah s.a.w. complaining that he has lots of debts, which adds up to about 1000 dinars. Rasulullah taught him to read Surah At Talaq (which brother Abu Abdul Bari also mentioned in his post) verses end part of 2, 3, 4, 5

    65:2 And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out
    65:3 And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.
    65:4 And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him of his matter ease.
    65:5 That is the command of Allah , which He has sent down to you; and whoever fears Allah - He will remove for him his misdeeds and make great for him his reward.

    The man read these verses day and night and within few days, he was free of his debts (he found odd jobs and got money to pay off all his debts). These verses were then known as verses of the 1000 dinar.

    I did all these 3 things and Alhamdulillh, since then, we have never run out of money. In fact, I started having job opportunities which I can do at home, like translations jobs (translating English documents to a local language that I know), writing assessment books for primary school etc. Until now, I always have vinegar in my house and alhamdulillah, we are not poor.

    When things were going well for us and another sister has financial problems because her husband's business partner ran off with the business' money and her husband was chased by creditors (apparently the partner has not been paying their creditors money and instead pocketed the money for himself), she asked to borrow quite a large sum of money from us and we lent it to her. Until now, she didn't pay us. But we never asked it back from her, not once, and we pray to Allah to make it halal so that Allah will reward us for our donation.

    Family can be like that - bad, selfish, sharp-tongued, jealous, arrogant etc etc. Don't be disheartened by them. Continue with your Islamic way of life and you will be safe. Allah will protect you. Ignore foolish remarks and ask Allah to protect you from their evil.

    Continue to be strong sister. A hard affliction shows that Allah favors you and wants to test you with a tougher test so that HE can elevate you to a higher level. InsyaAllah. Will pray for you.

    • I’m just telling my experience & feelings, don’t have vast Islamic knowledge to judge anyone’s answer here. Just sharing how I solved my problems.
      1. Family problems:
      The reason of visiting this site Today, I felt selfishness in my brother & his wife, got little hurt, I did share my feelings with my mom but request her not to say anything to my brother. Waiting for them to come on their senses. He (my bro) always does that, whenever he needs me, he & his wife shows attention otherwise they don’t know me. Initially it hurts me then I give a gap with him. “We can’t change others but can change ourselves”. He is only year&a half younger than me but still I show lots of patience & modesty around him. Sometimes he understand that.

      2. How I handle my Financial situation:
      I live in a moderately expensive area CA, USA (by the beach), divorced for 12 years, at the beginning of my divorce some of my close friends & family was very happy because they were jealous of our success. I knew that, they all thought I had to sale my home (by USA law after divorce property divided among husband & wife). I went to depression only for three days, I was only 31-32 yrs. old at the time of my divorce. I grew up without father, so I experienced hardship in life, there r very few well-wisher in your life, even it is surprising but the truth is parents also take side of the kids, they like the weaker kids where they can feel superior. I’m telling all those thing because I want everyone to know why I’m saying this.
      Very first thing I cut communication with my all evil Friends & Families, It was lonely life beside Allah the Almighty & that’s all you need. I never said a bad word about my ex-husband, he is a wonderful man too.
      Cut my budget, only focused on working hard, paying bills & pay attention to my son (make sure he has decent place to live, always gave home- made meal &his education).
      I spent all my free times with myself or my son. I cried in dark so many nights, when I couldn’t bare my loneliness, used to read Quran loudly but never went to my family or friends for help. I had few good friends though, they did help me emotionally without judging me but there were not my close family. There are sooo many other things happened in my life, BUT AFTER 12 YEARS I FEEL WINNER, MY SON BECOME AERONAUTICAL ENGINEER (He is USA born citizen but great Muslim young man , my family look up to him- I’m a proud mother) & I WORK for a VERY LARGE IT COMPANY. I never borrowed a Penney from any person or Bank & my credit is A+. Just trying to say “cut your cloths according to your cloths”.
      *Don’t create unnecessary debt if you don’t have running income, trying to buy a home by borrowing money from sister, hmm not a smart move. You should buy home when you can afford it.
      *Live an honest life, read, fight for honesty, not too many people like me because I know how to say no if I’m not cable of something.
      The Moral of this story is Allah helps you when you want to help yourself, it is not an easy path but at the end you will feel winner. Don’t blame religion or others. Life is beautiful yet very Hostile

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