Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I Want to Die

tree lonely

Salam everyone

I was born a muslim and to this day I still consider myself even though I don't practice as much as I used to.

For as long as I can remember I have been witnessing misfortune my whole life.

Starting with looks, I am a guy who is short, skinny, I look too young for my age (I am 21, but look around 14), can't grow a beard, my head looks different from each side. I have always been the smallest and always been the one to be picked on the most. I am really not that good looking. I have small hands and feet and grow hair in the wrong spots more than the right ones. I have crooked teeth, top and bottom, because I could never afford braces. I have an overbite, which I believe somehow is letting my jaw come forward and preventing my face to fully develop. I have high metabolism, meaning no matter how much I eat, I'll retain the same weight for a long time. I have small ears, I can't hear correctly, I constantly have to say "what?" I don't have good vision either. There are more about my looks I should share but it'll make this post too long.

Now with character... I just don't understand myself sometimes. There are times where I'm confident and then there are times where I have no hope. As of now I have no hope for anything. I have been socially awkward my whole life, but I tried improving on being less of that. I have never been good at any sport. I have never been good at anything that people look up to. I have been lonely throughout my entire existence. I have done everything by myself. I have been happy and patient with myself, but all that got old because I've spent too much time being alone. I've grown tired of myself because of that.

I have never found love. I was close at one time but the girl I had a small relationship with suddenly wanted to be just friends because she started to like another guy when we were still talking. I never had the chance to say "I love you" to her. Now she thinks that what we had was just us "talking." I have been through depression and I still am going through it.

At this point I'm convinced that whatever people say to me won't affect me and everything's going to remain the same. Recently many people have lost respect for me because of what I did relating to the girl that I had a relationship with. It seems as if my life is going downhill and it will continue to go that way until death. There are many wrongs in my life that people just wouldn't understand and I have difficulty putting these problems into words where they are fathomable.

I have prayed for most of my life to no avail. I have on and off faith and belief in God. I insult myself many times throughout the day. There is no dua for death and suicide is haram in Islam. I just have no idea what's going on and I'm just gonna continue believing that there is nothing good in my fate. I'm not posting this to get help or get answers. I'm just posting this because I'm tired of keeping everything to myself. I have prayed tahajjud sincerely, but that doesn't seem to help. I have prayed for death and to not see another day after that prayer. There is just nothing I find good anymore. I want to leave my life. They say life is a blessing, but in reality it's not a blessing for everyone. There is no hope. Nothing good will come.

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8 Responses »

  1. I am facing the same situation ,

  2. Wa alaikum assalam
    The way to get a dua answered( don‘t pray for death)
    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever awakens from the night and says Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wahdahu la shareeka lah, lahu al-mulku wa lahu al-hamd, wa huwa 'ala kulli shay-in qadeer. Subhanallah, wa la ilaha illa Allah wallahu akbar wa laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah (There is no god but Allaah Alone, He has no partners, His is the Sovereignty, to Him belongs praise and He is over all things Capable. Glory be to Allah, there is no (true) God but Allah, and Allaah is Most Great and there is no power and no strength except with Allaah), then he says: Allaahumma ighfir li (O Allaah, forgive me), or he makes du’aa’, his prayer will be answered, and if he does wudu and prays, his prayer will be accepted.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1154.
    This is sahih hadith so do not think Allah will not answer you. Just be patient and do this dua. I do this dua before fajr because after the fajr time the night is over(but not sure if it has to be before the night ends I am not a schoolar

    The Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) taught his ummah to make a supplication when one faces any difficulty and said,

    “If a servant of Allah is afflicted with a misfortune and says:

    Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un, Allahumma ajirni fi musibati wa akhlif li khairan minha‘

    “..Verily we belong to Allah and truly to Him shall we return. O Allah! Protect me in this calamity that has befallen me and replace it with something better.”

    Allah will accept his prayer, grant him reward for his affliction, and replace it with something better.

    Sahih Muslim
    I said this dua for many afflictions and Allah exchnaged it with something that is better.
    Look into this narration there is a story behind it.

    When you see someone who has an affliction or hardship the tell him about this dua in sha Allah you will get the reward.

    Make a lot of dua so you die as a believer and for your iman in this world so you can reach the highest ranks in jannah and also pray for it. Do this every night.

    May Allah help you and guide us all to the straight path. Ameen
    Brother teeth can be fixed wife can be found everything is in the power of Allah. Even that you think you are ugly is something that can change with time. Just make dua for the more important things like iman and akhira and dont forget the way to get your dua answered above brother.
    Make dua so Allah takes the afflictions of the muslims away.

  3. There are people of your age who are suffering from life threatening diseases like cancer, their are people of your age who does not have food for today or career and they are trying to cross oceans in search of life, syrian and other nationals who are running for their lives and only 8 years ago they were leading best life, so what all of them do? Should they think like you?

    Life is a test and whatever Allah has given you be thankful and try to make best out of your life, there are people whose metabolism is so low that they are obese and fat suffering from diabetes and heart diseases,

    But your problem is not that, the problem is bollywood movies and the friend circle which says that each boy should have a girlfriend so to boost on facebook,

    I would suggest build a career for yourself, spend your energy in building your career, once you are established your career, you can send your proposal to any beautiful girl for nikah and none of the parent or girl will refuse,

    And 50-50 sometime on and off faith does not work, pray 5 times 40 days from today and you will get confident in your life,

    Make youself mentally tough so if anyone say something just think they are ignorant of your real talent.

    • Definitely you are right because many of us tend to compare our life and others and most unfortunately probably with fake and virtual life on social and other media which seems as though all other apeopke enjoying their life to fullest while only me is deprived of their blessings and make us hating ourself and if we are a weak believer to blame God for the same.Of course Allah afflict us all hard times as test but it's our view how we take them and react.I myself us physically handicapped and is always facing challenge at all walks of life which sometime tends to leave all hopes of life but the only thing that keeps.e going is the faith that all these are just tests from Allah and will soon or later end and I will have to face in front of The Lord of the World to answer.Yes I have stong feelings for a partner too although I ever as single and no one likes me romantically and I don't want Haram but halal now that's marriage,even then they rejects owing toy condition and I literally broke inside yet I face these tests InshaAllah.Lastly we all make mistake at different level and needs to alwyas try our best to please only Allah.Whatever or how we viewed life in past should not determine our future so seek repentance and have a more positive outlook towards life.If we can't bear this short life with little misery but nothing comparable to akhira how can we think we will bear in akhira.Satan is always trying to make us lose hope.May Allah forgive us all and give us strength to endure His tests and give us more prosperous nad better life ahead both in this world and here after,,Aameen

  4. salaam i know that feeling its not easy too be not included but don't lose your faith ok n stay strong everything will happen in it timing

  5. Oh my boy, just change the way you think about yourself. Nothing's wrong with you. There are hundreds of thousands of people out there who are deprived of many things in life but eventually they have found the key to a happy life. And believe me YOU DON'T JUST HAVE TO LIVE OR DIE FOR YOURSELF, SOMETIMES YOU'LL HAVE TO LIVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE FOR OTHERS. May Allah be your guide and He is the best guide. Ameen.

  6. Assalaamualaykum brother Mustafa,

    Brother, it seems that you notice only the negative aspects of your life and do not focus on the positive or even see any positive. This is a habit that you actually have to undo, and it may not be possible without some help.

    I think you are depressed, and may even have obsessive-compulsive disorder. See if you can find a psychiatrist or psychologist in your area.

    If you are still with your parents, ask them to help you with this,



  7. Assalaamualaikum, brother!

    Are you still using your gmail account connected to this site, brother, so that I can answer your question?

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