Muslim parents and a pregnant non-Muslim wife.
Assalamu Alikom everyone,
I am going through a very difficult situation in my life. My parents are practicing muslims and they stay true to their roots, culture and traditions, I am not that practicing nor am I that close to my culture but I am not saying that I deny my religion or my culture. I just don't agree with some of the things that my parents tell me simply because I feel our religion Islam is not involved in some of their decisions as much as culture, traditions and "THE PEOPLE". I met the most beautiful girl every and we fell in love very quickly, I am not the kind of person who had girlfriends or any sexual relations with anyone, I may not have been practicing muslim but I try to stay as close to my religion as I can. Anyhow, I got married to the girl and we were very happy together, and by the grace of Allah Subhana-o-Taala my wife got pregnant with my child. I had kept this a secret from my family but I realized that it was time to tell my family the truth so I can live with my family happily.
My parents and siblings all exploded on me upon finding out about my marriage and child and they told me that I had to divorce the girl because she was a non-Muslim and that the baby was haram for me because nikah was not done. I tried to explain it to them that regardless of her religion she was pregnant with my child and that she was my wife and that I was responsible for them but my parents and siblings told me that Allah would be furious with me because I am disobeying my parents wishes. My parents told me that I had to choose between my wife and child and my parents and siblings. My family is against my child and my wife but I love my child and my wife and I also love my parents and siblings. My family is more concerned about their image among the people of the community.
Every time I tried to reason with my family I was told to shut up and not to reason with them and that they knew what was best for me. I need to know if Islam gives me the permission to support my child and wife even though my family is against my wishes and keep saying that Allah will be furious with me and that I will never see a happy day in my life but the truth is I haven't seen a happy day every since I stopped seeing my wife, I still have time to patch up everything and come to good terms with her but that would mean leaving the parents and siblings. I don't need anyone's opinion and if you can't say something that is relevant to my problem and something that can be backed up with hadith and Quran, please dont say anything at all.
I already know how much I have missed out on and how much I am going to miss, I look down at myself everyday and I can not take this pain anymore. I need to know what Islam has to say about my situation given that my parents only hated the girl because she was a non-muslim and because they were concerned about their image among the people of the community. I was happy with my wife and the fact that she was pregnant and I was very motivated and positive about life and now everything is just dark and I just want to end my life to put an end to my suffering.
Please help me with authentic hadith and the teachings of Quran o Sunnah.
Jazakallah khai,
Iamsolost.
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It is your wife and it is your child. Your duty is toward them at this time. Your family does not have any right to behave in this way. Discover Allah together with your wife and raise this child up as a Muslim.
http://web.youngmuslims.ca/online_library/books/the_lawful_and_prohibition_in_islam/index.htm
DEAR ariare
PL DONT GIVE DECLARATION UNMARRIED AS WIFE U ARE THINKING ISLAM IS YR PROPERTY November 4, 2012 • 10:34 pm
It is your wife and it is your child. Your duty is toward them at this time. Your family does not have any right to behave in this way. Discover Allah together with your wife and raise this child up as a Muslim
salaam
brother as long as you did a niqah she is not haraam for you a muslim man may marry a non muslim women but not the other way
your parents cannot ask you to divorce her from my understanding other than if she wants you to stop been a muslim
brother go to your local imaam or local shire council and ask them if they can help by explaining things to your family
i pray for allah to guide you and to protect you and your family
but remember two very important things:
1) do not be disrespectful towards your parents
2) do not abandone your wife and baby
allah hafiz
And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission
QURAN 2/221
Wa'alaykumsalam,
Basically marriage is a big step in ones life, if done according to Islam and in a good manner, the couple will enjoy success but if done carelessly or in ignorance then the couple will suffer its consequences. One of the important aspect of marriage is to take the blessings of parents and seniors.
In your case, it seems as though you've hasten and got married, you were impatient. You seem to have gotten married only for one reason and you've stated that in your post. This will fade unfortunately. Prophet said, marry those who are pious for then you will be successful as beauty, wealth and status will dissolve. Basically, you parents have taken care of you their whole life, they've made sacrifices for you etc and inreturn they expect a token of gratitude atleast. You made a decision of marrying in secret without informing your parents and this decision of yours will obviously hurt them. As they are the ones you should approach at first before marrying. You've disobeyed your parents and went against them that too by marrying a non-muslim.
Prophet said " A parent is the best of gates of paradise, so if you wish, keep to the gate or lose it. " - Tirmidhi
The damage has been done anyways.
You said that your wife is a non-muslim. Is she christian, jew, hindu, atheist, budhist or ??
If she's christian or jew then you can remain married. But if she's hindu or atheist or others, then divorce her. This action of divorce is obeying your creator Allah and coincidently your parent. I've heard that we cannot marry christians too as they now believe that God has a son. Auzubillah.
Now, try to teach Islam to your wife and so insha'Allah she embraces Islam with Allah's guidance. So that your children can be brought up as real muslims with muslim role models in the home and not be confused with different religion in the house. Try to convince your parent that you really wanted to spend the rest of your life with her etc. And do not show a slight disrespect towards your parents in the future.
Do not abandon your child anyhow. He is your responsibility.
Start performing your regular prayers, start repenting too for the sins you've committed before marrying and others. And insha'Allah you'll be successful.
You have done the mistake by engaging in a secrete marriage..
The islamic advice i would give you is never abandon your child.. If you did lawful islamic marriage with your wife, then dont abandon her too.. Try your best to bring her to the fold of islam and raise your child as true muslim.. Your parents and siblings cannot abandon you forever, they would come around sooner or later.. Repent brother and become a pious muslim. Convince your wife to become a pious muslima too and above all, raise your children to be pious muslims. Go back to your family and wife brother.Dont allow your wife hanging, if you really love her.
I am sorry, but it goes without saying that you have a responsibility towards your own child, no matter what your parents say!
Islamically a man does not need a permission to marry.
Additionally you should not obey their wish as it is unislamic - the very least! Who on this earth would ask a father to abandon a child! It is just shocking.