Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I love a Christian woman, everybody tells me to forget her.

need light

" And that those on whom knowledge has been bestowed may learn that the (Qur'an) is the Truth from thy Lord, and that they may believe therein, and their hearts may be made humbly (open) to it: for verily Allah is the Guide of those who believe, to the Straight Way."Quran 22:54


Im a doctor graduated from a European country. I was deficient in Iman  and the culture was also not supporting there, which made me commit sins I controlled a lot not have alcohol and commit zina but I managed not drinking alcohol for 4 years but finally I did that sin too...I committed zina right from the beginning there, for which I feel guilty now in front of Allah(swt).

I met a Christian girl who too came for studies. I fell in love with her committed zina with her too I asked forgiveness for my sins to Allah and will be asking and hope he will forgive me and I decided never go back to my past life and will be doing all my farz.

I want to marry her, I tried to convince her many times told her Islam is the right way but presently she isn't ready to revert back to Islam, it's may be because I never guided her rightly as I myself was sinner and her parents are working in some Christian missionary.

asked my parents too they too aren't ready for this marriage as they feel insulted in the community. I will Inshallah try to convince my parents,many of my friends also advised not to marry her..

I wanted to ask,  is there any possibility to marry a christian woman in Islam as I read somewhere that it's written in Quran that its possible to marry!

Please my brothers and sisters I really need some advise ..


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4 Responses »

  1. Assalaamu alaikum help seeker.

    Islamically it is permissible for a muslim man to marry a woman from the people of the book (Christian or Jewish). But it is strongly recommended that he go for a good pious Muslim woman.

    I am afraid though I am with your family and friends on this one. I would advise you not to marry her, at least at this stage, given that she does not want to convert. Does She want to marry you? Converting to Islam needs to come from her heart and not from you - putting pressure on her is not the way forward. Either way think it through very very carefully. I know you love her but marriage is no joke and in the long term there can be many problems.

    Even if she didnt convert, she would need to leave certain things such as drinking and eating pork etc. There will most likely be difficulties in her integrating into Islamic and cultural customs in your family. In addition, and most importantly problems often arise when children are born. The mother may want to raise them up Christian or with no religion, whilst the father wants them raised Muslim. Even if she promises initially having children changes the dynamics of the marriage. This can lead the children to become confused and cause further marital conflict.

    Also one partner may become closer to their own religion, leading to differences. There are many examples on this website, so search through. For these reasons, I advise against it - unless she is more than willing to learn about Islam at her pace and consider converting. Ultimately its your choice - just take these things into consideration.

    Do istikhaarah if necessary. Information on how to do istikhaara can be found on the green 'istikhaarah q and a links at top of page.

    Also if you decide not to marry her cut contact - it will be easier for you both and if you do, while unmarried keep things within Islamic boundaries and InshaAllah Allah will give you Barakah.

    Sara Editor

  2. Assalamu alaykum Brother,

    Even among the Ahle Kitaab (Jews and Christians) she has to be a "virtuous" woman. So, first you have to repent, turn to Allah, purify yourself, leave the bad, hold on to Allah and the good He reveals.

    Then when you yourself feel now I am a good Muslim, then Insha Allah you make seek to marry a "virtuous" woman from Ahle Kitaab or from among Muslims.

    Thank Allah for guiding you, read the Qur'an a lot and pray for a good dunya and aakhirah and a good wife and Insha Allah all this will come your way if you believe and do good.

    Your brother.

  3. salam bro

    yeah a Muslim can merry a christian (people of Book)....but in your case my advice is to give some time before making any decision.....take time to purify your soul first then try to convince the girl to be good.......

  4. As salamu alaykum,

    I agree with all the comments above, think twice before taking a decision to move forward with the marriage option.

    Everyone is against it, both families, think about children,....this seems to me as a neverending source of struggles.

    You have to be a Light first to be able to show the others the straight way, insha´Allah.

    All my Unconditional Respect,

    María Editor

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