IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

Salam,

First of all I would like to say that I feel totally ridiculous posting on here with my problem, when there are Muslims all over the world starving and dying. However I feel like I'm dying on the inside, and I do not know where else to turn.

I wrote a while back about problems I am having with my husband. We fell in love, kept it halal, and got married. The man I fell in love with used to do anything and everything for me. We went to school together, and he would voluntarily write papers for me. I know its not a big deal, but it was something very simple that made me love and appreciate his kind manner even more.

Fast forward to now, it is our third year anniversary and I've cried more in these past years than I ever have in my entire life. My husband has been working late for the past year. Every single night I've eaten dinner by myself, with a few random exceptions when he would get off early. But for the most part he would come home every night at 12-1am. It is his job and our livelihood, so I am more than understanding, and I wait for him every night and hang out with him and spend time with him.

Now Ramadan comes around and he is able to change his schedule to make it home for iftar EVERY SINGLE DAY. I was so excited about it. But the first 5 days, EVERY OTHER DAY we spent it with his family. Literally every other day. Please do not misunderstand me, I truly love his family and I enjoy spending time with them. But I also want time alone with my husband. I want us to be closer. I want our love to grow stronger.

I begged him on the fifth day to take me and my daughter to go see fireworks. I just wanted to do something with me him and our daughter as family. He told me that he already told his parents that we are going for dinner, which wouldn't have been a big deal. But he always does this. He always makes me go there. Whether I am pregnant throwing up, whether I have a really bad headache, whether I just had a baby and can't walk, whether I want to go out with my friends. I ALWAYS HAVE to go there.

I just stated what I wanted to do that day once, I asked politely just once, he said no and I went. I always do and go where he wants, when he wants. And if I say I want otherwise he blames me that I don't want to see his family, or that there is tension. When wallahi there isn't.

His family is the only social interaction we have. Sometimes we go to my parents, but barely. We never make plans with other people or friends or couples, it's just his family ALL the time.

I cannot get my husband to do anything for me. I can't sway his opinion. He wouldn't even agree to go to his parents for iftar then afterwards to go see the fireworks- we had to stay there all night.

It wouldnt be a big deal if it just happened once or twice or a dozen times, but this happens ALL the time. And he just doesn't understand. We just got into another fight again today because I want to go have iftar with my friends, but he made me go to his sister's house. I never get to see my friends, or go out as a couple.

I am so sick of it. I've never been more angry, more sad, more depressed. I can't even look at his face. He makes me nauseous. His voice is so annoying. I feel so bad for feeling this way, but I've been spending the past week making duaa, praying and reading Quran- but I just can't get over it this time. I wake up and go to sleep crying. Tomorrow is our third year anniversary, and I truly despise my husband this moment. I don't know what to do about it.

Can someone tell me, truthfully, am I being irrational?

Please help me!

PS. Please dont tell me to communicate with him. I've tried many times, in many ways, but it's no use.

-heather22